Straight Line of the Day: Canada Plans to Claim the North Pole for Itself. They Will Also Claim…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Canada plans to claim the North Pole for itself. They will also claim…

78 Comments

  1. They will also claim…
    no, the Americans are the ones who talk funny, eh?
    … Bob and Doug MacKenzie are the sole reason they didn’t just take over the whole North American continent when they had the chance.
    … their new National Anthem is Rush’s YYZ (and woe to any who cannot sing it, eh)

  2. …the Island of Misfit Toys.

    …that they’re a real country.

    …that they make the best cookies in the world.

    …that they really like hetero and it was just a phase they were going through.

    …that they have no idea how those sites got on their browser history.

  3. Canada plans to claim the North Pole for itself. They will also claim…

    A moose once bit my sister…

    No realli! She was Karving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end
    of an interspace toothbrush given her by Svenge – her brother-in-law – an
    Oslo
    dentist and star of many Norwegian movies: “The Hot Hands of an Oslo
    Dentist”,
    “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink”…

    Mynd you, moose bites Kan be pretti nasti…

  4. Canada plans to claim the North Pole for itself. They will also claim…

    that having two national languages is better than one.

    Le Canada envisage de réclamer le pôle Nord pour lui-même. Ils seront également réclamer…

    que le fait d’avoir deux langues nationales est mieux qu’un

  5. Canada plans to claim the North Pole for itself. They will also claim…

    they didn’t know these actresses were Canadian:

    Pamela Anderson
    Laura Bertram
    Geneviève Bujold
    Neve Campbell
    Kim Catrall
    Emmanuelle Chriqui
    Rae Dawn Chong
    Elisha Cuthbert
    Yvonne De Carlo
    Colleen Dewhurst
    Lexa Doig
    Tricia Helfer
    Natasha Henstridge
    Margot Kidder
    Mia Kirshner
    Evangeline Lilly
    Lois Maxwell
    Carrie-Anne Moss
    Kate Nelligan
    Sandra Oh
    Ellen Page
    Anna Paquin
    Grace Park
    Mary Pickford
    Amanda Plummer
    Buffy Sainte Marie
    Helen Shaver
    Meg Tilly
    Shannon Tweed
    Estella Warren
    Fay Wray

  6. This ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.

  7. …that Santa Claus is actually the commandant for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police – Reindeer Division.

    …that all the world can be divided into the Habs and the Hab-nots.

    …that snowshoes represent high fashion, as well as common sense.

  8. …the Equatorial Cummerbund.

    …that a Canadian guy once watched a sporting event while he was sober.

    …that the metal plates in their heads have no bearing on their gradual migration northward.

    …we would some day accidentally find Canada on a map looking for the North Pole.

  9. …the disapearing and reappearing ice cap

    …all the taxes from the people that live at the north pole to cover all the extra spending already planned (pole taxes?)

    …the land around the pole

  10. Canada plans to claim the North Pole for itself. They will also claim…

    … South Korea, East Germany and the West Indies.

    … that geography is not a strong suit of most Canadians.

    … that French Canadians are only half as obnoxious as real Frenchmen, and smell like maple-smoked bacon rather than snails and cheap wine.

  11. …that Terrance and Phillip are funny.

    …that their flapping heads are NOT full of lies, you racist!

    …that Canada is NOT America’s hat: America is Canada’s fat pants.

    …that there is, in fact, something there.

    …that they care what America thinks.

    …that Harvey’s burgers are actually made from beef.

    …that Tim Horton’s is NOT a stealth attempt to fatten Americans up for a Canadian invasion.

    …that Nickelback doesn’t suck.

    …that Montréal just LOVES being part of the country.

    …that weed is still illegal.

  12. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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