January 1st is quick approaching.  For many, this will be like a trip to Vegas.  Whether or not you have health insurance will be a giant crapshoot.  But never fear.  Obama is on the job.  He has some recommendations for those of us who will wake up January 1^st with no coverage.  Here is what he suggests you try should you find yourself in that situation:

• Hope really hard
• Make sure to pay your life insurance premiums
• If you run out of birth control, remember condoms are reusable if washed in the delicate cycle.  You can find the used condoms in the dumpster behind your local Planned Parenthood
• Blame Bush
• I’m pretty sure Time Life has a series on home surgery
• I’m always available to play doctor.  Call me
• If you happen to need an emergency abortion, there are also coat hangers in the alley behind Planned Parenthood
• If you are unable to refill your prescriptions, let me tell you about a wonderful little thing called the placebo effect
• Have you tried faith healing lately?
• If you happen to need an emergency organ transplant, there are also vagrants in the alley behind Planned Parenthood
• If you ask your navigator, they will provide you with a fake Canadian ID, a fake Canadian passport and a map showing the locations of all clinics in Canada
• Clap your hands and say: I do believe in healthcare.gov! I do believe in healthcare.gov! I do believe in healthcare.gov!
• Have you tried medicinal meth?  You can get it from a guy in the dumpster behind the Planned Parenthood
• Stop being so racist.  Healthcare.gov can sense your racism and won’t work if you are racist.  Healthcare.gov is working for you, right?
• Pretend to be an illegal alien.  You’ll get treated right away
• Remember to not vote Democrat next time
• Join a union or become a Senator
• Take the time now to prioritize your loved ones by how much you love them so it becomes easier to decide who gets the limited medical care you can afford
• Laughter is the best medicine.  Buy a copy of Uncle Sid’s Guide to Homeschool Your Hellions

People were recently asking for picture of Frank J. 2.0 (who turned 7 months yesterday), and since I wouldn’t have my family if it weren’t for this blog, I guess I do owe you some.

Here’s a selfie Junior recently took of himself:

Here’s him in a bouncer. Small children like bouncing:

Here is SarahK with Junior. He loves his mommy:

And not to forget Buttercup, here is her at her party for her third birthday which was in October:

And here is her making a snow angel last week:

And here is here at Santa’s Village. We took a train ride this weekend which brought us out to a remote area where a Santa’s village was set up. Buttercup told Santa she wants a kitty, strawberries, a pool, and fishies to go in the pool:

And here is the whole family. SarahK got Junior a coat that was too big so we’d not have to buy another next year. Economical:

Thanks for supporting this blog. It has provided much happiness.

Why didn’t we nuke the moon like I, America’s foremost foreign policy expert and author of such books as Other Countries Are Stupid and Rarr! I Hate Other Countries!, have recommended? And you see what happens now: there’s a Commie robot driving around the moon.

Now, if we had a real American president, he would have shot down that Commie rocket as soon as it launched. And when the Chinese asked, “Why did you shoot down our peaceful mission of exploration?” The president would have said, “Because you’re Commies! So shut your stupid Commie mouths and go make me a new iPad!”

But things wouldn’t even have gotten that far if we had just nuked the moon. Nuking something is the celestial equivalent of licking food. Like when you lick the donut you want so no one else touches it, you can nuke the moon so everyone afterwards would leave it alone. But we didn’t do that, and now Commie robots are taking it over. And what’s next? Islamic terror robots? Try making an ultra-libertarian colony on the moon with those running around.

Well, it’s not too late to nuke the moon. I know we can no longer get a man in space, but surely we can still get a warhead to the moon. Then we’ll call up the Chinese and be all like, “Wow. What bad luck. You happened to put your rover right where we had long ago decided to set off a nuke. Super bad luck. Must have happened because GOD HATES COMMIES!” Then we later put a battle bot on the moon — you know, the type of robot with like a circular saw on the front for destroying other robots. “Battle Bots: Moon Edition.” If any other country wants to try and send a probe to our moon, it better know how to fight.

The big hoopla right now is … no, not the president’s lie about keeping your insurance. No, not the NSA unconstitutionally monitoring your phone calls. It is, of course, the controversy over Santa Claus being white.

Now, here’s the thing: he is.

Or was. I mean, dead Greeks are white, right? Like 3rd century dead Greeks. Most Greeks today, and for centuries, have skin that’s a little darker than mine, but lighter than some other people. Now, there are Caucasoid, Mongoloid, Negroid, and Australoid races. Early classifications included Australoid as Negroid, but that’s no longer the case.

Anyway, Greeks? Caucasoid. White people, anthropologically speaking. Which means, Saint Nicholas of Myra was white.

Maybe that’s not the Santa Claus you were thinking of. Sinterklaas, perhaps? Well, Sparky, that’s the same dude. That’s St. Nicholas in the Netherlands and places like that. And he’s really white.

Now, there are other traditions that got all mixed in together. A little bit of Odin (white), some German (white) traditions, English (white) traditions, and so forth. Bunch of white folks all mixed together make up Santa Claus.

So, yeah, Santa’s white.

But, does that mean he’s only for white folks? That’s just plain silly.

Now, if Santa’s being white pisses you off, that’s your problem. If you want to work Santa into your Christmas celebration, that’s fine. And, if you’re not yourself white, and want to dress up like Santa, go ahead. There’s nothing wrong with that.

If you are, say, black, and you want to dress up as Santa, go ahead and do that. But, don’t put white makeup on. It’s rude for some white person to wear black makeup, and it’s rude for a black person to wear white makeup. Unless it’s for playing Ronald McDonald.

Heck, if you’re a woman and want to dress up like Santa, that’s fine too. Hell, dress your dogs and cats up like Santa. It’s all good.

It’s Christmas. Enjoy the season. If you want to get all worked up over black and white stuff, you can do that the rest of the year. Or, just become a Democrat. Then, you get to be all black-white divisive all year long.