Archive of entries posted on 18th December 2013

Clear-Headed Thoughts on Obamacare

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[High Praise! to Wise Up]

Skipping the idea that every Democrat would always be on the same page of this Obama-care blunder bust, where are the clear thinkers on this? Both sides of the aisle seem content to go from “It’s not working” to “It’s very slow” to “Just pay the fines” to “They may find out January 1st that they don’t have insurance!” yet not more than a few are saying, “STOP or we’re gonna hit that wall!”

Laws are rewritten and changed illegally as it goes on. Goalposts moved, confusion to everyone including the architects of this disaster. (Well, except Nancy Pelosi who seems to have unlimited access to valium)

In the meantime everyone on the left smiles and says either “You’re gonna love it” “Its working” or when pressed under oath, takes the 5th.

This Robot Will Take Us To Mars

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[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #856,195)

The downside – it’s not autonomous, so it can only take instructions from human controllers.

How this will work when there’s a 3-to-21 minute communication lag between Earth and Mars is anyone’s guess at this point.

In For a Penny

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A Colorado judge ruled that a baker who refused to make a wedding cake for a same-sex ceremony must serve gay couples despite his religious beliefs.

I’m just surprised he didn’t rule they could hold the ceremony in the bakery, too.

Parenting Advice

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[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Link of the Day: The Fact Obama AND Castro Went to His Funeral Should Tell You Something

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[High Praise! to Keln of Nuking Politics]

RIP Nelson Mandela’s Many Victims

BONUS LINK

On a lighter note, Sheldon Comics [High Praise!] has my idea of a good country music song.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Date Carol Temperature Afford Frosty Fieri Superpower Notekins Short Watched

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Obamacare Finally Good for Something

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Public relations firms are now using the Obamacare rollout as a case study to teach clients how NOT to handle a crisis.

Obamacare’s new slogan: “The new ‘New Coke‘”.

Obama Warned Us – Education

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When it comes to education, we got to get past this whole paradigm, this outdated notion that somehow it’s just money; or somehow it’s just reform, but no money — and embrace what Dr. King called the “both-and” philosophy. We need more money and we need more reform.

BARACK OBAMA, speech, Jul. 17, 2009

“Of course, what we really need is less government, but I ain’t about to let THAT one happen.”

Straight Line of the Day: A New Study Shows Heavy Internet Use Causes Anxiety. The Worst Part of the Internet…

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Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

A new study shows heavy internet use causes anxiety. The worst part of the internet…

The Obama That Ruined Christmas

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So as Obamacare burns because of Obama’s own incompetence and idiocy, he’s decided to strike out against us again. This time, is aim is to ruin Christmas.

Does he really need to work this hard to get people talking? Everyone I know is constantly grumbling about how idiotic Obamacare is. Still, Barack H. Oblivious thinks he can save things by encouraging douche-nozzles to pester everyone during the holidays. In fact, he’s laid out a bunch of suggestions to ruin everyone’s Christmas:

MORE OBAMA CHRISTMAS SUGGESTIONS

* “How about instead of Christmas carols, you go door to door singing about the Affordable Care Act.”

* “Know what makes a great stocking stuffer? A pamphlet explaining health insurance options.”

* “How about instead of a mall Santa, you get a mall Obama who you can it in the lap of while he explains the benefits of having health insurance.”

* “How about instead of an Elf on the Shelf, you get an ‘Insurance Application on the Shelf’ that every morning appears in more and more prominent places until you finally sign up for insurance.”

* “How about instead of getting presents for each other, you get the best present for yourself: Buy yourself health insurance.”

* “Why don’t you do a new type of nativity scene this year centered around an insurance application, with the wise men being Obama administration cabinet members.”

* “How about instead of gathering around a fire, you gather around the computer and wait together as Healthcare.gov loads.”

* “How about instead of decorating a Christmas tree, you buy insurance. Sorry, I’m kind of running out of ideas; just please buy insurance before this whole thing collapses and everyone yells at me.”

* “Worried about your family shunning you because you won’t shut up about the Affordable Care Act this Christmas? Just remember that you don’t actually need family; you only need health insurance.”

How did this happen?

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It’s not fresh news, but it’s still shocking and surprising to me.

ObamaSign

In Johannesburg last week, there the fake stood, on TV for the whole world to see. It was the funeral of Nelson Mandela, and one by one, dignitaries came to the podium and spoke. But it soon became apparent that something was wrong.

The picture above shows the problem. There is the fake, standing there for the cameras. He knew he was begin watched. He must have known that people would eventually realize that he wasn’t capable of doing the job he was picked to do. He had no qualifications, and, based on statements that have come to light, is a serial liar.

Today, people realize he’s a fake, and has even been the subject of derision on Saturday Night Live recently.

But, even after everything I’ve read and heard, I still don’t understand how it came to happen. How, oh how, did Barack Obama ever get elected?

Random Thoughts: White Santa, House of Cards, and Ranking Obama

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You had me at they had to move across the street so it’s now “22 Jump Street.”

I just saw an ad for Anchorman 2.

Why would you assume I know all the lesser-known reindeer but have never heard of the most famous reindeer of all?

If we were a more sensible people, we’d inject politicians with sodium pentothal before debates.

Heh. His name is “Shia LaBeouf.”

It’s white privilege that Santa is able to break into all those houses without being arrested.

These days, you basically have to get rid of your computer and live in the middle of the woods if you want to escape Google or Ron Burgundy.

Obama wishes Washington was more like House of Cards? Is he saying that Biden isn’t an evil genius who plotted and murdered his way to VP?

I’ve yet to meet a high school chemistry teacher I haven’t suspected to be a meth cook.

War will be a lot more frequent and fun when it will just be our robots blowing up other people’s robots.

Here is how I rank Obama versus the other presidents:
1. Other presidents
2. Obama

I have trouble believing even Hitler would be okay with video ads that automatically play.

The amount today’s feminism focuses on enabling casual sex makes it seem at times like it was designed by horny teenage boys.

“Daddy, can we open presents?”
“Actually, the president says we first need to talk about health insurance.”
“I HATE THE PRESIDENT!”

I actually, I’m thinking there’s a pretty high chance someone is going to mention how idiotic Obamacare is at Christmas.

Wife is leaving me alone with the kids tonight and I don’t know what they eat or anything. Maybe there is a bag of baby feed in the pantry.

“Obamacare is getting more and more unpopular. Ideas?”
“I know: Let’s encourage douchebags to annoy people about it over Christmas!”

Never once has anyone disagreed with me on the internet. Maybe you’re all just arguing poorly.

Paid $15 on Amazon to stream last 8 episodes of Breaking Bad. I hear it’s worth it.

Other option was to spoof browser so Netflix thinks I’m logging in from the UK which makes those episodes available.

I feel too old to be hacking to get stuff for free I can just legally pay for, though.

Whatever happens in the last few episodes of Breaking Bad, I hope nothing happens to Huell.

Got kicked out for using a racial slur when I called the president a “spoony bard.”

Accidentally publicly tweeting a DM is what finally brought down Al Capone.

I Agree With Harry Reid

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Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said of Democrats running on Obamacare in 2014 “I think it’s going to be good for them.”

I’m surprised he didn’t say “if you like your Senate seat…”

EPA Issues Injunction Against Santa Claus

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AP – (North Pole) – EPA regulators paid a visit to good ole Saint Nick early this morning to serve him an injunction ordering him to cease and desist all operations pending the outcome of their inspection and investigation into his negative environmental impact.  He is accused of polluting the atmosphere with carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases and encouraging additional carbon dioxide pollution within the US and worldwide.  He is specifically charged with the overt and excessive distribution of coal, a notorious carbon dioxide emitter, to naughty girls and boys who would undoubtedly light up the world-destroying coal while they are naughtily playing with magnifying glasses, matches or other combustibles.  He is further charged with operating reindeer-powered vehicles that are also notorious greenhouse gas emitters, exhausting primarily methane gas which is a more powerful greenhouse gas than the more widely recognized carbon dioxide.

Michael Mann, the environmental scientist responsible for creating the hockey stick graph, has this to say regarding the actions the EPA took this morning: “This action has surely been a long time coming.  Having reviewed the data, it is abundantly clear that action needs to be taken against this brazen polluter.  He is distributing millions of tons of coal worldwide, and he is distributing it via reindeer propulsion.  Think about the length of the flight path.  He is flying to every single house in the world, undoubtedly leaving Rudolph and company idling on the rooftops while he is inside.  That is an astronomical amount of methane emissions. I’m tempted to abandon the idea of anthropogenic global warming and replace it with the idea of Santagenic global warming.  In terms of the environment, Santa is definitely at the top of my naughty list.  What will the repercussions of this injunction be?  Will this mean millions of heartbroken children Christmas morning?  Absolutely.  But we all need to sacrifice for the good of the planet. Besides, if I never got my little red wagon, neither should any of they.”  But he then had to cut his remarks short because he had to meet Leonardo Dicaprio at the airport to take his private jet to Switzerland for the next conference.

Santa was not available for comment, but an unrepentant Mrs. Claus had this to say before she was also hurried into custody: “I say fiddlesticks to the whole lot of you.  If you were stuck up here, you’d want some warming too.  It’s been ages since I’ve put on my bathing suit. We will not rest! We will not stop!  This will not end until the whole world has been transformed back into a lush, tropical paradise from pole to pole!  Viva la warming!”