Straight Line of the Day: Obama Said “I’ve Got a Pen and I Can Use It”. What Other Threats Will He Make?

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Obama said “I’ve got a pen and I can use it.” What other threats will he make?

73 Comments

  1. I’ll cancel this year’s National Scout Jamboree.
    I’ll raise the prices at Walmart.
    I’ll tell Hollywood not to make movies and TV-shows for you under-educated flyover rubes.
    I’ll tell Michelle to tighten up the School Lunch Program.
    I’ll give fewer inspirational speeches.
    I’ll have Congress make February “Sign Up for Public Assistance” Month.
    I’ll make them name the Mall of America after me.

  2. Obama said “I’ve got a pen and I can use it.” What other threats will he make?

    “I’ll hold my finger an inch from Ted Cruz’s face and inform him that I am not touching him.”
    “If you like your dog, you can’t keep it. Period”
    “I’m sending in my ultimate drone, John Kerry”

  3. Obama said “I’ve got a pen and I can use it.”

    And if you don’t believe me, look behind you and behold the awesomer power of the remote-signing-pen! I can sign you to death here AND there simultaneously!

  4. Obama said “I’ve got a pen and I can use it.” What other threats will he make?

    “I’ll go on vacation to Martha’s Vineyard, drink up all the Mimosas, eat up all the prosciutto and melon on toothpicks, ride around in a golf cart all week…and leave Michele here in D.C. to deal with y’alls!”

  5. Obama said “I’ve got a pen and I can use it.” What other threats will he make?

    “I’ve got Air Force One and I can go out on more speaking tours!”

    “I’ll shut down the intercontinental railroad!”

    “next Executive Order…nuthin’ but Tyler Perry/Medea movies coming out of Hollywood!”

  6. Obama said “I’ve got a pen and I can use it.” What other threats will he make?

    “By Executive Order, starting next week, on all cable and broadcast television channels, all Michele, Hillary, and JANEANE GAROFALO all the time!”

  7. Initiate Plan Mochelle 1:: every male will watch one hour of Oprah’s 212 yrs a slave per day. White males will benefit from 2 hrs a day. Latino males will benefit from 1.25 hours of Oprah’s 212 yrs a slave per day. If you don’t feel guilty because of the shade you happened to be born, YOU are racist and must watch the OWN network for the rest of your life. PS. No monster trucks or keg stands. ever…
    the following initiative will be in place until the wearing of pants is optional…. Carry on.

  8. Obama said “I’ve got a pen and I can use it.” What other threats will he make?

    “I’ve got a booger in my nose and it’s going to be picked and flicked at a tea bagger. My IRS has ruled I can do this without recompense.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.