Marriage is a very important institution to many people… which should’ve been an argument to keep the govt out of it as much as possible.

Having the government redefine marriage didn’t begin with gay marriage and it won’t end with it.

Scifi always seems to be predicting bigger, even more tightly packed cities but I think it’s going the opposite way.

I mean, really, who needs a big city anymore? We don’t need to live near each other; we have Amazon.com and can telecommute.

I’ll never understand why welfare ever evolved from anything more than just handing poor people a crust of bread.

Compromise: Pardon Snowden for telling us the NSA is spying on Americans. Execute him for revealing the NSA is spying on foreigners.

“Let’s all grow beards; it will distract everyone from our record-setting incompetence.” -White House

Why is Jay Carney also wearing a flannel shirt and speaking in a deeper voice?

Planets die all the time. And if Earth isn’t going to be around forever, I’d rather spend our remaining time using my preferred light bulbs.

“I decided to grow some facial hair too. It’s called a ‘toothbrush mustache.'”
“BIDEN!”

PRO TIP: To get practice at fist-fighting humans, first fist fight a monkey and then move up to a lesser ape.

When is the Game of Thrones/Downton Abbey crossover?

So what does “fighting income inequality” mean? You put a gun to the head of someone with more money and then take it?

And if I have a million dollars but someone else has a billion dollars, how sad should you be about my inequality?

Just a month ago Obama told Jay Carney, “If you like your clean-shaven face, you can keep it.”

One of the biggest travesties of the income tax is the idea someone’s income is anyone’s business other than his own.

The Old Spice ad was weird. I’m afraid I can’t devote any of my vast intellectual powers to analyzing it, though.

I love my fellow Americans, but I don’t want any of them to have even a fractional say over my own finances.

As for income inequality, I’d like people to have the income they deserve but I don’t think I could stand idly by while that many people starve.

I could have told you banning gun sales was unconstitutional and it only would have cost you $50.

We’re becoming a country of 300 million spoiled rich kids who have no idea where money comes from.

I don’t have to worry about cold weather here in warm sunny Idaho.

With the trajectory we’ve been on this century, it shouldn’t be long until the supervolcano erupts.

I’m guessing the unconstitutional part of Chicago’s banning of gun sales was where they banned gun sales.

The news says the Fed has been engaged in pro-growth policies since the beginning of the Great Recession. What evidence is there of that?