The depressing thing is seeing people cheering on partisan politics reasserting itself as if they’ve stumbled on to some great new solution to Trump.

Republicans are awful. I know, let’s elect Democrats!
Democrats are awful. I know, let’s elect Republicans!
Republicans are awful. I know, let’s elect Democrats!
Democrats are awful. I know, let’s elect Republicans!
Republicans are awful. I know, let’s elect Democrats!
Democrats

Speech isn’t violence. Except whining. Whining is violence. Lock people up for whining.

Remember in 2008 when the Democrats were elected to big majorities and everything was fixed forever?

Great news, you guys. The solution to everything in politics is to double down on partisanship.

Our elections forever after will be between two groups, neither of which deserves to win but one of which deserves to lose more than the other.

I never even cared about AR-15s before and now I’m going to run out and buy 6 of them. #ChainsawBayonet

I bet now those freedom-hating Democrats are going to go after the $1000 tax credit you get for adding a chainsaw bayonet to your AR-15.

I despise Democrats, but I still find it hilarious how doomed the Republicans are looking for 2018.
What’s going to be the GOP’s pitch for itself in 2018?
“Um… remember Gorsuch?”
“You have to give us a solid C- for effort.”
“Democrats are going to take away your chainsaw bayonets!”

Chainsaw bayonets are traditionally associated with extreme xenophobia. Just play any Gears of War if you don’t believe me.

The purpose of the chainsaw bayonet is to bypass body armor. Cut off the body armor, and then shoot. Can also include infrared scope to spot glowing weak points.

If USA Today needs a new gun expert, I cost one million dollars.

Did you know there’s no waiting period on chainsaws and hockey masks?

I just can’t fathom how a supposedly professional news organization published a graphic about a “chainsaw bayonet.” That would be unbelievably idiotic on a random nobody’s blog.

I don’t usually spend much of the day glad I never sexually harassed anyone.

The new Republican strategy seems to be to nominate awful candidate with huge warning signs that even more awful stuff is going to come out and then they win anyway.

Why do we have to have a two party system? Why can’t we have four or five soulless, pointless parties?

In Alabama, they should start a write-in campaign for “Chainsaw Bayonet.”

My 4yo has beaten Super Mario Odyssey. I am very proud.

Roy Moore? I’d rather Roy Less! #PoliticalHumor

The people who did “Vote for the Worst” on American Idol have now hacked politics.

Got an Apple Watch. It seems kind of limited what it can do out of the box, but I’m excited for what I can make it do after I learn how to program for it.
I want to control everything from my watch. EVERYTHING!

When I was 23, I decided against dating a 17yo because the maturity difference seemed too vast. If a 34yo dates a 17yo, is it wrong to categorically assume he’s a creep?

I always thought the ending of Goodnight Moon was odd. Why do “noises” get the last goodnight? What are these noise he’s hearing? Is there a sequel?

For those who condemned the Democrats about Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy and condemn the Republicans today, maybe there can be some sort of “I never treated sexual assault as a partisan issue” badge.

Highly suspicious these women are making their accusations now when people will listen to them and not before when no one cared.

If anyone says anything bad about me on Twitter, it’s a Russian plot. Don’t be a Russian stooge and believe bad things about me.

I literally hate the environment and want it to die, and even I’m a little put off by the amount of waste a Keurig makes per cup of coffee.

French press, yo.

So does anyone want to revisit the importance of sexual morality?
No? No takers?
Okay. Moving on.

I really enjoyed Metal Gear V gameplay-wise, but man was the Quiet stuff super-pervy.
I spent a bunch of in game money I could have used to develop a new rocket launcher to get her a uniform where the only added benefit was not having to worry about my wife or kids walking in on me playing the game.

Even before these allegations, Roy Moore was practically wearing a sign that said “weasel phony.” How do we teach people to be smarter about this?

I want to write an article aimed at FOX News-watching uncles on how to make sure their nephews don’t survive Thanksgiving.
“If they have a list of talking point on why Trump is a failure, grab it from them, dip it in gravy, and eat it.”
“If he comes up with an argument you can’t refute right away, taze him and say, ‘Why would I listen to the opinion of someone who just soiled himself?’”

It’s seeming apparent that the ones who throw out the most red meat in politics are the ones who fundamentally don’t really believe in anything.

I’m all for protest candidates, but it seems like we should be able to find one who isn’t a complete scumbag.
Lately, the candidates have been the equivalent of taking a dump in the middle of the living room. Admittedly, that does tell the establishment exactly what you think of them.

I’d be happy with a nutty protest candidate if he seemed genuine and wasn’t just a bomb thrower trying to get attention. Like a right-wing Bernie Sanders.

I just can’t get behind backing someone like Roy Moore as a protest candidate. While I do despise the establishment, I guess I don’t despise myself enough.

Best solution I have: During the next State of the Union, declare that the entire city of Washington D.C. is now a prison and seal it off.

I’ve long asserted you could train a dog to do 99% of the job of a U.S. Senator. And it would be a lot nicer and less arrogant too. Just putting that out there.

Why do Republicans have to keep bringing up Bill Clinton, the proof that Democrats don’t actually care about what they claim to care about?
Why can’t people just accept being lectured at without pointing out the evidence that it’s partisan BS?
If Democrats have to confront the fact that they’ve treated sexual harassment as nothing but a partisan issue, what’s next? They have to do the same thing for racism?

Do you think Bill Clinton inspired a whole generation of lecherous “male feminists”? It was quite a message: Have the right politics, and you can get away doing anything to women.