Straight Line of the Day: NASA Is Now Warning People That…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

NASA is now warning people that…

63 Comments

  1. NASA is now warning people that…

    an increasing number of signs on the moon is not an indication of any dangerous situation by may be triggering nonetheless so try not to look at the moon if you are easily triggered by the word Kai$hakunin.

  2. NASA is now warning people that…

    You can’t trust Woke Liberal Men.

    Schneiderman, Schneiderman,
    to #metoo girls, he was a fan.
    Into private lives, he always pried,
    Trust the women, was his cry.
    Look Out!
    Here comes the Schneiderman.

    Could he do wrong?
    Listen bud,
    He’s got wokeness in his blood
    But when he swings, with the chicks
    He can really be a d#ck.
    B*tch Slap!
    From your Schneiderman.

    In the light of the day
    It will seem like a crime
    At twisting truth he will play,
    to avoid doing time!

    Schneiderman, Schneiderman,
    Cruel to the ladies Schneiderman
    inflicting pain
    Don’t ignore
    Time to show him the door.

    To him, women were there to bang up,
    Now on him they will gang-up.
    They’ll get that Schneiderman!

  3. I look at you and suddenly
    Something in your eyes I see
    Soon begins bewitching me
    It’s that old devil moon
    That you stole from the skies
    It’s that old devil moon in your eyes

  4. We’re standing on a planet that’s evolving
    And revolving at 900 miles an hour.
    It’s orbiting at 19 miles a second, so it’s reckoned,
    The sun that is the source of all our power.
    Now the sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see,
    Are moving at a million miles a day,
    In the outer spiral arm, at 40,000 miles an hour,
    Of a galaxy we call the Milky Way.

    Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars;
    It’s a hundred thousand light-years side to side;
    It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light-years thick,
    But out by us it’s just three thousand light-years wide.
    We’re thirty thousand light-years from Galactic Central Point,
    We go ’round every two hundred million years;
    And our galaxy itself is one of millions of billions
    In this amazing and expanding universe.

    (waltz)

    Our universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
    In all of the directions it can whiz;
    As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
    Twelve million miles a minute and that’s the fastest speed there is.
    So remember, when you’re feeling very small and insecure,
    How amazingly unlikely is your birth;
    And pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere out in space,
    ‘Cause there’s bugger all down here on Earth!

    — montypython.net/scripts/galaxy.php

  5. …five of seven cars abandoned by a drunken Ted Kennedy are about to fall from their low earth orbit, most likely into a shallow waterway in the northeastern United States.

    …Dark Star has replaced 2001: A Space Odyssey as the only in-flight entertainment.

    …that abandoning hypersleep research for the use of teenager astronauts means all ship functions will be controlled by cell phone use, tripling the cost of interplanetary travel.

    …recent seismic activity and global warming will lead to Neil Young releasing a follow-up to After The Gold Rush.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.