53 Comments

  1. Trump: Right. Well, I’ll give you the job, and the chair, and an all-wool ex-army sleeping bag for the briefcase, the umbrella, the pens in your breast pocket and your string vest.

    Pompeo: When do I start?

    Trump: Monday.

    Pompeo: That’s marvelous.

    Trump: If you throw in the shoes as well. (presses intercom) Hello, er, Kim? Could we have three hostages please?

    Kim Jong Un (over intercom): One hostage and one missile for the two ex-army greatcoats and the alarm clock on the mantelpiece.

    Trump: Two ex-army greatcoats and the alarm clock and a table lamp, for three hostages and three missiles.

    Kim Jong Un: Two greatcoats and two table lamps.

    Trump: Two greatcoats, one table lamp and a desert boot.

    Kim Jong Un: For three hostages and missiles?

    Trump: Done.

    Kim Jong Un: Done.

    Voice Over: So Kim Jong Un returned to his typing and dreamed his little dreamy dreams, unaware as he was of the cruel trick fate had in store for him. For Kim Jong Un was about to fall victim of the dreaded international Chinese Communist Conspiracy. (lots of little yellow men pour into the office) Yes, these fanatical thieves under the influence of the so-called Mao Tse-tung had caught Kim Jong Un off guard for one brief but fatal moment and destroyed him. (Kim Jong Un is submerged in a tide of yellow men) Just as they are ready to do anytime free men anywhere waver in their defense of democracy.

    • Don’t know why
      There’s no pre-nup with this guy
      Stormy Daniels
      Since my plan and I ain’t got together
      Keeps draining all of the swamp

      Oh yeah
      Lipo, bare
      Collusion inquiries everywhere
      Stormy Daniels, Stormy Daniels
      And I just can’t get my deplorable s*** together
      Oh I’m queried all of the time
      By Time, so bleary all of the time

      When he polled away
      The Blues walked in and paid me
      Oh yeah if he stays immune
      Old Russian Bear’s gonna get me
      All I do is pray
      The Clintons will let me
      Dance in the limelight once more

      Oh I can’t go on, can’t go on, can’t go on
      Everything I have is gone
      Stormy Daniels, Stormy Daniels
      Since my man and my Democratties ain’t together
      Keep straining all of the time
      Oh, oh, keep ‘splainin’ all of the time
      Oh yeah, yeah, yeah extraneous all of the time
      Stormy, Extort Me
      Stormy Daniels
      Yeah

    • Near China, Girl

      Oh, Little Kim Jong Un
      Oh, Little Kim Jong Un

      I could escape this feeling with my Kim Jong Un
      Just like Iraq, my little Kim Jong Un
      I hear the news beating, anti-Trumpers
      Saw the stars trashing

      .

      Obama’s mess withered my little Kim Jong Un
      Wake up in the morning where’s my little Kim Jong Un?
      I hear a new start, beaten anti-Trumpers
      I saw the stars crashing down

      I’m feeling tragic like I’m Marlon Brando
      When I look at my Kim Jong Un
      I couldn’t invent that; nothing really meant too much
      When I look at my Kim Jong Un

      I stumbled into town and broke your sacred cows
      Projections of swastikas on my head
      Crayons for everyone
      Its in the white of my eyes

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