Monday Night Open Thread

I love history.


[The YouTube]

Do you have something you’d like to share? A link? A joke? Some words of wisdom? A topic to discuss? It’s Monday Night Open Thread.

What’s on your mind?

IMAO Time Machine: Andy Williams and the Health Care Bear

Here’s one Basil wrote in 2009. I liked it better than others did. Yes, it’s dated, but so is Basil. — The Editors



Well, here’s Mr. Williams’ house. I hope I have better luck now than I did all those years ago.


And thank you for coming along, Mr. Hope. The boss says I need to have you with me.


I don’t think I’m the “hope” he was talking about.


I thank you for coming along anyway. Here goes.

Knock! Knock!


Why, if it isn’t Bob Hope and … You! What are you doing here! Oh, don’t tell me. You want a cookie. Well, you’re not going to get one! Not now…


Oh, no, Mr. Williams. I’m not begging for a cookie. The president hired me to ask you for your health care.


My health care? I’m 81 years old! Why would I give up my health care?


The president sent me to ask for it. He wants to take over everyone’s health care. Can the president have your health care, Mr. Williams? Please?


No! Absolutely not.


In fact, you get away from my door right now and don’t ever come back! Not you … not the president … no one is going to take my health care. Not now. Not ever! NEVER!


SLAM!


THUNK!


You know, if enough people do that, the president’s health care plan will need end-of-life counseling.

Paging Jeff Foxworthy

“If your wife forces you to sign divorce papers at gunpoint, . . . ”

Pensacola Woman Accused of Forcing Husband To Sign Divorce Papers at Gunpoint
WKRG | 10/16/2019 | Daniel Smithson

PENSACOLA, Fla. (WKRG) — A Pensacola woman accused of forcing her husband to sign divorce papers at gunpoint was arrested Friday.

Millanie Sherbrook, 45, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without the intent to kill.

An Escambia County Sheriff’s Office arrest report says Sherbrook and her husband were arguing over divorce on Oct. 11. When the man refused to sign the papers and stated he would rather handle it in court, deputies said Sherbrook grabbed a Smith and Wesson .38-caliber handgun, pointed it at her husband, followed him and told him to sign the papers.

Not The MST3K One

There was a TV show back in 1976 called Gemini Man. Two episodes, one that aired and one that was filmed but never aired, were combined into a TV movie called Riding With Death. Mystery Science Theater 3000 took that one on.

The Gemini Man TV show was a reworking of H. G. Wells’ The Invisible Man. So, when I saw there was a new movie called Gemini Man, I wondered if it was an update on that disaster. Well, apparently not, according to the Pitch Meeting for the new movie.

[The YouTube]

I wonder if this one will eventually be viewed by Jonah and the Bots.

No. Next Question?

Are We Ready for the Breastfeeding Father?
The New York Times | October 17, 2019 | Carl Cederstrom


Straight Line of the Day: Kids Today Are Clueless About…

Straight Line of the Day: Kids today are clueless about…

The Illustrated Walrus: Gravity

Submitted by walruskkkch:

Playing It Straight

I wouldn’t consider myself a huge Marx Brothers fan, but I have seen most, if not all, of their films. And they were funny. Some scenes were more than funny. So, maybe I am a fan.

Often times, though, when I think of Marx Brothers movies, I think of four people. Groucho, Harpo, and Chico, of course. But the fourth? Not Zeppo. Rather, I think of Margaret Dumont.

[The YouTube]

She certainly left her Marx on my memory.