Straight Line of the Day: Help Wanted Ad: Handler For Joe Biden — Requirements and Job Description: … Posted by Oppo on 23 September 2020, 12:00 pm Straight Line of the Day: Help Wanted ad: Handler For Joe Biden — Requirements and Job Description: …
Handler For Joe Biden — Requirements and Job Description: … Must like basements and have a high tolerance for diaper changing. Reply to this comment
Handler For Joe Biden — Requirements and Job Description: … Must know about, you know, the thing. Reply to this comment
Handler for Joe Biden Requirements: A complete understanding and support of all types of “Pony Soldier” insults. Job description: Accurately determine each morning if the VP will be having a good day or bad day, then adjust the day schedule accordingly. Reply to this comment
Requirements: Partisan to the point of mania. Job Description: Whatever it takes. Experience cat herding, flogging dead horses, or sitting with gramps longer than an hour at family reunions a plus. Reply to this comment
…be ready to be given the sack before, during, and after his daily swim. …no crowns, tiaras or other sharp hair adornments. …no desire or ability to do as many as one and a half pushups. Reply to this comment
…Oops! That’s a typo. It should be handlee. Expect Joe to frequently handle you. Especially if you’re a young woman. Reply to this comment
Handler For Joe Biden — Requirements and Job Description: … Must have familiarity with drool cups. Reply to this comment
Like Cross-Eyed Johnytells all the new interns, “You ain’t seen nothing, you ain’t heard nothing, you don’t knows nothing. Caprice?” Reply to this comment
Requirements: Ability to sneak out of house with babysitter completely unaware. Job description: Babysitting. Reply to this comment
…think it’s about time a Black woman was president and willing to take a bullet to be kept quiet. …ready to jump between a camera and an open open fly, tackle an overeager antifa member with alopecia. Reply to this comment
Help Wanted ad: Handler For Joe Biden — Requirements and Job Description: … …Must be able to decipher gibberish and translate in sign language. Reply to this comment
Handler For Joe Biden — Requirements and Job Description: …
Must like basements and have a high tolerance for diaper changing.
Handler For Joe Biden — Requirements and Job Description: …
Must know about, you know, the thing.
Make sure he gets settled in for his nap before 10 AM …
Handler for Joe Biden
Requirements:
A complete understanding and support of all types of “Pony Soldier” insults.
Job description:
Accurately determine each morning if the VP will be having a good day or bad day, then adjust the day schedule accordingly.
You can safely ignore the press, they may bark a bit’ but they’ll never bite…
…Female…NOT a white cracker.
Don’t let him go off-script, or off wardrobe, in public…
…the patience of Job. (not a four letter word)
“Translate inane gibberish for the hearing impaired.” Good luck.
Requirements: Partisan to the point of mania.
Job Description: Whatever it takes. Experience cat herding, flogging dead horses, or sitting with gramps longer than an hour at family reunions a plus.
…must be able to prepare Pollyanna for extreme disappointment.
Mad TelePrompTer programming skills a plus…
Either that or a proficiency in sock puppet.
#13: Must use Herbal Essence shampoo
…be ready to be given the sack before, during, and after his daily swim.
…no crowns, tiaras or other sharp hair adornments.
…no desire or ability to do as many as one and a half pushups.
If he gets cranky, distract him with a lock of your hair – he likes that…
…Oops! That’s a typo. It should be handlee. Expect Joe to frequently handle you. Especially if you’re a young woman.
Job Requirements: Must be proficient with the use of a tranquilizer gun.
10 drink minimum
Handler For Joe Biden — Requirements and Job Description: …
No Irish!
Handler For Joe Biden — Requirements and Job Description: …
Must have familiarity with drool cups.
Like Cross-Eyed Johnytells all the new interns, “You ain’t seen nothing, you ain’t heard nothing, you don’t knows nothing. Caprice?”
Female, and must tolerate spontaneous groping and sniffing.
…long haired freaky people need not apply
Requirements: Ability to sneak out of house with babysitter completely unaware.
Job description: Babysitting.
…think it’s about time a Black woman was president and willing to take a bullet to be kept quiet.
…ready to jump between a camera and an open open fly, tackle an overeager antifa member with alopecia.
Help Wanted ad: Handler For Joe Biden — Requirements and Job Description: …
…Must be able to decipher gibberish and translate in sign language.