Straight Line of the Day: Scientists say climate change, theft, and human development are affecting tarantulas. So…
Climate Change Affecting Colorado Tarantula Population
Associated Press | September 25, 2021 | Conrad Swanson
DENVER (AP) ― About this time every year, southeastern Colorado towns like La Junta see more visitors looking to glimpse saucer-sized Texas brown tarantulas as they scurry out of their burrows and across fields and roads in search of a mate.The eight-legged spectacle might not last long: Scientists say climate change, theft and human development are cutting into tarantulas’ population, with fewer emerging year after year.
…we need to mount some fricken lasers on them
…Scientists have started development of eight-legged chickens for better BBQs.
Should be simple to accomplish. John Madden did it with turkeys years ago. Just “borrow” from his research.
Tarantifa will be burning and looting the colonist’s encroachments. TLM! TLM!
. . . they are moving to California for a change in climate, looting privileges, and where there is no human development. And they get to vote!
…so Rioters are stealing tarantulas now instead of Nikes? Who knew?
…banana harvesting will get a lot safer…
…look for a new SYFI movie – Tor-Antula, about hot and angry tarantulas getting sucked up into a super-tornado, raining havoc on an unsuspecting country…
… gun carry laws should be expanded to concealed arachnid-carry, to cut down on thefts…
… we dance!
It reminds me Paul.
. . . AOC had a fake cry in front of an empty parking lot with no tarantulas
+1
…Pelosi is submitting a bill to Congress to increase taxes to save the Tarantulas…
(They were going to increase taxes anyway… just one more excuse)
…Joe is sending Kamala to investigate the root causes.
Creepy-crawly sent to investigate the creepy-crawly.
Spider-Man comic books featuring The Tarantula just doubled in value.
I suppose Taranime from Japan won’t be far behind either.
…as climate change gets worse we’ll eventually get Tarantula-nados
…we’ll need to crack open Hillary’s skull and let the spiders loose from there.
The start of any B-rated horror flick.
…. Colorado will just need to ask Texas to provide more saucer-sized brown tarantulas so they can …. WAIT! …..
SAUCER-SIZED SPIDERS? IN TEXAS? EEEEeeeeEEEE
The ensuing TLM protests will raise awareness of Tarantula rights and environmental plight, and provide thieves other targets via all the looting required at TLM protests.
The ensuing TLM protests will raise awareness of Tarantula rights, provide thieves other targets via all the looting required at TLM protests.
It’s not “looting” – it’s reparations, you racist anti-tarantulite!
So … Colorado can simply ask Texas to send more saucer-sized brown spiders so they can ….
WAIT!!
SAUCER-SIZED SPIDERS? IN TEXAS? EEEEEeeeeeEEEEEEEEEE!
Sounds like something from a Quentin Tarantulino movie.
…we just put borders around them with Democrats in charge.
…we get them bitten by a radioactive Kennedy, they’ll be like cockroaches.
…this calls for an infusion of tiny PF Flyers and lots of Ovaltine.
… tell the Fauci-shaped spider to end the lockdown, duh.
… folks in Greenland are calling this a first-world problem.
So…the only hairy creepy crawler we have is Joe Biden….
.