Friday Night Open Thread

How’s this for a gripe? Saw this in the comments section of a news story about how sucky San Francisco has become:

The name “$100,000 Bar” was better than “100 Grand.” We used to have a lot more candy companies. Curtiss produced Butterfinger and Baby Ruth before being bought out by the big boys. Peter Paul produced Mounds and Almond Joy. Hollywood produced Payday and a host of others. Now we get endless varieties of Reeces, M&Ms, and Snickers but Hershey and Nestle have the market.

I completely agree. But any pollsters better stay off my lawn.

Just Say No. No No No.

NASCAR Beer Prices for Chicago Race Are Going Viral for All the Wrong Reasons
Penn Live | 28 June 2023 | Brian Linder

When beer prices are making news at an event, it’s never a good thing . . .

A six-pack of Busch Light or Michelob Ultra will run you $63. That’s about five times the price of a 12-pack of cans outside the event.

Brutal.

Good news is, if you just want a single beer, that will only cost you $10.50 … or about the price of a 12-pack.

We definitely have a race problem.

Hopelessly Incompetent

Why hasn’t the D.O.J. raided me yet for promoting and spreading mockery of the U.S. political and judicial system?

I’m surprised that isn’t already a charge enShrinered in the U.S. Code.

Well, I see this as a radiant example of their incompetence — think Motor Vehicles Department — not as a result of any mitigation of their evil anti-First-Amendment gestapoism. If I ranted against trans-gay storyteller homo castration-recruiting groomers, I would have been long, long gone by now. They just lack the motivation and that ol’ 9-to-5 will.

What the heck am I saying? Go after Walrus, first, feds! He’s the ringleader! He made me do it!

They got Harvey. That’s all I’m saying.

It’s Official: I Have Absolutely Lost Track of Whatever the Heck Is Going On in the World

Iraqi man fills a Koran with bacon and burns it outside a Stockholm mosque after police allowed protest, enraging Turkey which holds sway over Sweden’s bid to join NATO
DailyMail.com | 6/28/2023 | Chris Jewers

An Iraqi man filled a Koran with bacon and burned it in Stockholm on Wednesday, an event that has angered Turkey as Sweden bids to join NATO.

The inflammatory stunt was carried out by two men outside the city’s main mosque on the first day of the Muslim three-day Eid al-Adha holiday.

Um… the author should be careful about what assignments he gets in the Muslim world….

Sigh.

I’m embarrassed, as an American, to admit to our Canadian brothers and sisters that we, as a country, are not exactly perfect.

Atlanta Plans To Blow $230 Million on 2-Mile Extension of Useless Streetcar
Reason | 6/26/23 | Eric Boehm

What is already arguably America’s worst public transit project is about to get a whole lot more expensive.

Big surprise.

That’s like saying the death toll in Chicago from gang shootings is about to get a lot worse.

The Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority (MARTA) is moving ahead with plans to build a 2-mile extension to the city’s 2.7-mile streetcar line, with an estimated price tag of $230 million.

“For starters.” — Tony Soprano.

The Center Square reports that the first batch of that new spending—an $11.5 million contract awarded to a firm that will design the extension—was doled out last week.

To design. I could have drawn a design on a map for a couple of bucks.

The project is being funded by a half-cent increase in the Atlanta sales tax, and the extension is scheduled to open in 2028.

And this tax will go away when the project is . . . ? ah, forget it. I don’t want to sound stupid.

Even if the extension doesn’t go over budget, . . .

{cough} California high-speed rail {cough}

$230 million for two miles of new streetcar track works out to a slobber-knocking total of $21,700 per foot.

“slobber-knocking”?

And that only covers the construction costs. If the current Atlanta Streetcar is any indication, most of the operating costs for the extension will be covered by people who never ride it.

Including people who pay federal taxes in Florida, Massachusetts, Denver, . . .

The existing 2.7-mile loop through downtown Atlanta gets about 158,000 riders per year. Even if all of them pay the $1 per ride fare—and there is ample evidence that many do not—

New York decided that it’s racist to prosecute stile-jumpers. Because only one race does it, I guess, is their logic.

that wouldn’t come close to covering the system’s $5 million annual operating cost.

. . . minus ten percent for the Big Guy.

Sorry, Canadians. Moving to the U.S. is no solution to your socialist problems. It would be like moving to Nazi Germany to escape Soviet Russia.

Please Let There Be Film at 11!

SPD: Homeowner Uses Samurai Sword To Stab Suspected Burglar Armed With a Pitchfork
fox13 | 06/28/23 | Franque Thompson

SEATTLE – Police say a suspected burglar attacked a homeowner with a pitchfork in Seattle’s Beacon Hill neighborhood, but the man fought back with a samurai sword.

Straight Line of the Day: In the Country of the Blind, the One-Eyed Man…

Welcome to IMAO! Let’s Face It — We’re Experiencing Information Overload

P.S. — No decorations allowed on walls.

Friday Classic Funny

“Hi there Mr. Walrus.”

“Hello Miss Cates. A nice surprise but where is Miss Derek?”

“She’s out searching for more Farside sources so she sent me with some classic Monty Python skits.”

“I’m sure the cobs won’t mind.”

The Phrase “What a Jerk!” Declared Hate Speech: Every Person On The Planet Sentenced to Hard Prison Time

Cannot Stop Laughing

I wonder if I’ll ever be able to read all the words in this article.

Cervical Cancer Fund Suggests Calling Vaginas ‘Bonus Holes’ to Avoid Offending Transgender People
Gateway Pundit | 6/28/23 | Cassandra McDonald

A cervical cancer trust is under fire for disgustingly suggesting that people call vaginas “bonus holes” to avoid offending transgender people. Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust, based in the UK, suggested the language in 2020 — but it just went viral after it was noticed by people and posted to Twitter.

“Bonus hole – An alternative word for the vagina. It is important to check which words someone would prefer to use,” the glossary on the trust’s website states.

The website claims, “Using the correct language when referring to someone’s gender identity is a simple and effective way to demonstrate support and recognition. If incorrect language is used without being corrected, it can cause someone to feel hurt or distressed. This may lead them to leave and to eventually seek support elsewhere.”

Will they indemnify me if I get slapped or worse for using this term in a singles bar?

If You Were Involved in “Queer Worldmaking,” and Were Given $100 By a School To Do So, What Would You Do?

(Obviously, this couldn’t be a Straight Line of the Day)

I don’t know why “Breccan F. Thies” sounds like an appropriate Sopranos mob name for this story, but I do.

Texas Christian University Offers Drag Queen Class to Explore ‘Queer Worldmaking’
Washington Examiner | June 23, 2023 | Breccan F. Thies

Texas Christian

!

University is offering a course on the “Queer Art of Drag,” where students will be taught about “drag performance as an outlet for social critique, pedagogy, and queer worldmaking.”

Students will be given $100 each to purchase drag costumes. They are expected to create drag personas for themselves and perform in the Protestant school’s annual drag show.

!

The course, … includes such commentaries as “The Gender Binary Is a Tool of White Supremacy” by Kravitz Marshall.

Other readings assigned for the class include “Drag pedagogy: The playful practice of queer imagination in early childhood” by Harper Keenan and Lil Miss Hot Mess

I’ll agree with the author in ending analysis there.

Kudos! Credit Where Credit’s Due!

Germán Delivers MLB’s 1st Perfect Game Since 2012
Major League Baseball| June 29,2023 | Sonja Chen

OAKLAND — Domingo Germán tossed Major League Baseball’s first perfect game since 2012 in the Yankees’ 11-0 win over the A’s on Wednesday night at the Coliseum. It was the fourth perfect game in franchise history, and the first since David Cone against the Expos in 1999.

Impressive news in a depressing world.

DOJ: No “Reasonable” Prosecutor Will Indict Bidens or Clintons Due to Missing Letter “T”

Swiped Off the Internet

When getting arrested by cops:

Of all the times not to be Hunter Biden.