Straight Line of the Day: What Else Did Robots Say at Their Press Conference?

(I checked. This is a real story.)

Robots Say They Won’t Steal Jobs, Rebel Against Humans
Jerusalem Post | 7/7/23

Robots presented at an AI forum said on Friday they expected to increase in number and help solve global problems, and would not steal humans’ jobs or rebel against us.

But, in the world’s first human-robot press conference, they gave mixed responses on whether they should submit to stricter regulation.

The nine humanoid robots gathered at the ‘AI for Good’ conference in Geneva, where organizers are seeking to make the case for Artificial Intelligence and the robots it is powering to help resolve some of the world’s biggest challenges such as disease and hunger.

AI Robot Tells United Nations: Machines Are ‘Greater’ Than ‘Human Leaders’
Slay | July 8, 2023 | Frank Bergman

Babesleaga Group U : Final Results and Standings

We have our winner. Let us congratulate Kate Beckinsale the winner for group U.

Week 7 Results

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
94 votes · 94 answers

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
117 votes · 117 answers

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
110 votes · 110 answers

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
121 votes · 121 answers

Final Standings

ContestantsRecordPointsAveragePoints AgainstAverage Score
Kate Beckinsale7 – 0 – 065092.8526492.85-37.71
Amy Adams6 – 1 – 053175.8533475.85-47.71
Sofia Vergara5 – 2 – 059084.2831584.28-45.00
Zooey Deschanel4 – 3 – 046967.0038467.00-54.85
Kristen Bell3 – 4 – 040357.5745557.57-65.00
Charlize Theron2 – 5 – 034649.4249749.42-71.00
Megan Fox1 – 6 – 021931.2855631.28-79.42
Angelina Jolie0 – 7 – 021831.1459331.14-84.71

Group V Week 1

  • 10:00 am Catherine Zeta-Jones vs Eva Green
  • 2:00 pm Floren ce Pugh vs Reese Witherspoon
  • 6:00 pm Gemma Arterton vs Rachel Weisz
  • 8:00 pm Jennifer Lawrence v Karen Gillan

Cartoons and Memes : Saturday Night Special

“Good evening Mr. Walrus, a lovely Saturday evening, isn’t it?”

“Made even lovelier with you being here.”

“Flattery will get you no where.”

“One never knows until one tries.”

“Well you are not succeeding so don’t try again.”

Sigh, shows us the memes.”

Winner

8.

This week’s entries

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Which one is funniest?
91 votes · 91 answers

Biden – Master Riffer – Riffs on Other Things

Remarks by President Biden on Lowering Healthcare Costs for Americans

Friday, July 7, 2023

I thought I knew a hell a lot about healthcare and — (laughter) — no, I’ve been a sig- — (microphone feedback) — sorry.  (Laughter.)  I’ve been a significant consumer, and my family has as well.

If you can — a point — a point of personal privilege, as we used to say in the Senate — I was telling my staff that I li- — I was raised — it was a middle-class family.  We weren’t poor.  We lived in a three-bedroom house with four kids and a grandpop, a split-level home, and — and my — “the boys” — quote, unquote — now, the princess, my sister, had her own bedroom — (laughter) — as she should have.  But the three boys were — there were four — there were two sets of bunks in the other room.  And there was a closet that ran — as your walked down the — you walked up the stairs, you walk straight down the hall, you went into, quote, “the boys’ room.”  The three of us.  And on the left, there was a closet in that whole wall.  My parents’ bed, headboard, was against that — where that closet was. 

And every once in a while, rarely, my — you could hear — you could hear sort of a restlessness going on.  You know, like, the — just — and one — one morning, I get up, and I ask — I said, “What’s wrong with dad?” 

my administration is cracking — (coughs) — excuse me — cracking down

But get this: Some healthcare providers are trying to get around the rule by putting in place — putting in place a — a — the rule we put in place by prevent — to prevent the surprise billings.

The travel industry figured out how to — how to charge customers $90 a night in resort fees for hotels that aren’t resorts.  (Laughter.)  You think I’m kidding.  (Laughter.)

We’ve been trying to get this done for decades.  I don’t know how many times I made this speech on the floor of the United States Senate.  (Laughter.) 

AUDIENCE MEMBER:  Many.  [Or, possibly, “Freebird!”]

THE PRESIDENT:  I’m on- — (laughs) — yeah, many — (laughter) — along with many others, but now.  (Laughter.)

And it’s why I can honestly say I’ve never — I really have — I — I — I know I don’t look like it, but I’ve been around a while.  (Laughter.)  But all kidding aside . . .

God bless you all and (inaudible).  (Applause.)  Thank you.