Straight Line of the Day: Plans for the DNC Convention in Chicago This Summer Include: …

… Midnight walking tour by Jussie Smollett!

… Opening the borders and tearing down the walls around the convention center cocktail lounge. No person is illegal!

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  1. ….. a host of useful Convention “Sign-up” Seminars:

    .. “Pretending to be happy with your nominee”
    .. “Turning out the vote through bribery and/or intimidation”
    .. “Best China connections for supply of signed mail-in ballots”
    .. “How to blame the opposition of cheating while you cheat”

    and much, much more.

  2. Insurrection erections out the wazoo.
    Got your Hamas at war with your LGBTQ.
    A presidential diaper full of presidential poo.
    They’ll burn Old Glory, the Red White and Blue.
    Chase down and murder a few dozen Jews.
    VP Cackles with goo in her ‘do.
    Hell on the el and boys named Sue.
    Gang bangers offing a rappers crew.
    North Face looted, Apple and Nike too.
    We’ll get none of this on the evening news.

  3. . . . Brandon getting in trouble for bringing both his Hawaiian and Chinese birth certificates

    . . . a number of unexplained suicides when Hillary is not allowed to give her acceptance speech

    . . . to keep the delegates awake, prizes will be given based on “Slurring Word Salad” Bingo cards.

    . . . Barack Obama’s stirring rendition of “I Am Womyn”

    . . . Jill Biden running a breakfast taco stand. She calls it her bo-guh-duh

    . . . Kamala Harris raising money for 2028 by selling her new line of golden kneepads for the cheap donors, and selling Hunter paint-by-number sets for the big donors

    . . . ensuring there is a ratio of at least one psychiatrist for every three delegates

    . . . while leaning in for a sniff, Brandon asks Mika if she also needs an Evening Joe

    . . . Dominion meets with the party bigwigs, demanding $1 trillion for the 50 million ballots they estimate they will have to fabricate. Coincidentally, Brandon announces that his $7.3 trillion budget is now $8.4 trillion. The Big Guy’s 10% portion will be shown as a loan repayment.

    . . . in his acceptance speech, Brandon says, “Who am I? Why am I here?”, and is once again accused of plagiarism. The KJP spin the next day is that no, Brandon wasn’t plagiarizing Admiral Stockdale, he just really didn’t know who he was or why he was there.

    . . . Fox calls Arizona for Brandon

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