Oh, I Have a Pretty Good Idea Why

Have you seen your clients, NPR?

A Tech Billionaire Is Quietly Buying Up Land in Hawaii. No One Knows Why
npr | Feb. 28, 2024

Waimea . . . a mystery has been brewing in this small mountain town. Someone has been quietly buying hundreds of acres of land…

He’s the CEO and co-founder of San Francisco-based Salesforce, one of the world’s largest software companies, which owns the popular messaging service Slack and is worth nearly $300 billion. He also owns Time magazine. Benioff is hard to miss — the 59-year-old stands at a towering 6 feet, 5 inches and is often seen driving around Waimea in his white Hummer pickup, sporting his signature look of a baseball cap with his curly brown hair tumbling out back.

Benioff lives in a beachside mansion down the mountain from Waimea. He built the $24.5 million, 9,800-square-foot home about 20 years ago and also bought dozens of acres of ranch land in Waimea around that time, according to public records.

Jeff Bezos owns a sprawling beach mansion in Maui. Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg has plans to build a bunker on his land in Kauai, according to Wired. Benioff’s former boss, Oracle co-founder Larry Ellison, owns 98% of Lanai.

And here I am, gaping at the price of a fast-food meal.

And billionaires, hey, if you don’t want to be a kidnap victim, don’t sport a signature look. That’s for free.

Just Another Day in a Banana-Bread Republic

Why Is Panera Exempted From California’s New Minimum Wage Law?
Reason | 2-28-24 | Eric Boehm

When fast food restaurants across California have to start paying workers $20 per hour on April 1, one major chain will be exempted from the mandate—and it just so happens to have a connection to a longtime friend and donor to Gov. Gavin Newsom.

Panera Bread is poised to get a boost from a bizarre clause in the fast-food minimum wage law that exempts “chains that bake bread and sell it as a standalone item,” Bloomberg reports, adding that “Newsom pushed for that break, according to people familiar with the matter.”

That exemption stands to benefit Greg Flynn, owner and CEO of the Flynn Restaurant Group, a conglomerate that operates more than 2,300 restaurants nationally and is the second-largest Panera franchisee in the world, according to the company’s website. Flynn and Newsom go way back . . .

Are their workers less deserving than fast-food workers?

Or are their owners more kneady?

Yikes! Guess I Won’t Apply for a Concealed Carry Permit in Nassau County, NY!

New York Judge Just Says ‘No’ to Pee Tests for Concealed Carry Applicants
Bearing Arms | 2/22/24 | Cam Edwards

Even though New York’s discretionary “may issue” laws were ruled unconstitutional by the Supreme Court in 2022’s Bruen decision, some licensing authorities in the state are still using some awfully subjective criteria to determine whether or not an applicant will receive a concealed carry permit.

In Nassau County, for instance, applicants must submit a list of all former and current social media accounts used within the past 3 years, so police can pore over the content for evidence of “good moral character”, along with a notarized statement attesting to any minors that live full or part-time with the applicant as well as the name and contact information of your “current spouse or domestic partner and any other adults residing with you, including adult children.”

Along with the paperwork, Nassau County Police Commissioner Patrick Ryder also requires every applicant to submit to a urinalysis test to prove they’re drug-free, even though that isn’t required under New York law.

Straight Line of the Day: If the Government Runs Out of Funding on Friday…

Welcome to IMAO! Aw, Shoot! Now We’re Going To Have Kids Everywhere

Cartoons and Memes

“Morning Miss Welch, all ready for Sadie Hawkins day?”

“Why do I need to be ready for that?”

“You don’t want to pull a muscle chasing after me.”

“I think we’re both safe.”

“Spoilsport.”

Winner

7.

This week.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Which one is funniest?
161 votes · 161 answers

An Even More Trenchant Analysis

Should be a truncheon analysis, but let that pass.

A 6′ tall, bearded trans basketballer arrogantly slams a young girl to the ground…. she collapses in agony. RILEY GAINES hits back: We used to call this domestic abuse – so why are we now calling it ‘sport’?
Daily Mail UK | February 22, 2024 | Riley Gaines

Riley Gaines is a former NCAA swimmer, the host of OutKick’s Gaines For Girls podcast and an ambassador for Independent Women’s Forum.

We used to have a name for violence against women and girls.

When men punched, pushed or slapped us, that was ‘domestic abuse’, ‘assault’.

Now it has a different name – ‘sport’.

The latest exhausting headline: a girls basketball game at a Massachusetts high school had to be abandoned earlier this month after three female players were injured at the hands of a trans student.

Footage of the incident at the Collegiate Charter School of Lowell is shocking.

We see one girl hurled to the ground by a six-foot male, sporting facial hair.

The male wrenches the ball from her hands. The girl – barely reaching the male’s shoulder height – is slammed down.

She tries to sit up repeatedly but collapses each time, holding her lower back in agony.

Other girls run over to comfort her but the male player simply turns away, nonchalantly shooting the ball through the net with one hand, catching it with the other.

Related story —

Coach of the Year:

Girls’ high school basketball coach banned for forfeiting game over transgender player has no regrets: ‘Asking for injury’
New York Post | Feb. 27, 2024 | Yaron Steinbuch

The coach of a Vermont high school girls basketball team that was banned from state athletics after forfeiting a game against a squad with a trans player defended the decision — stressing the danger of a biological male playing against girls.

“I’ve got four daughters. I’ve coached them all at one point in their careers playing high school basketball,” Chris Goodwin, coach of the girls’ team at the Mid-Vermont Christian School, said Monday on “Fox & Friends.”

“I’ve also filled in for the boys’ coach when he can’t make a practice, and I run those practices, and boys just play at a different speed, a different force … than the girls play. It’s a different game,” he said, adding that it would be “irresponsible” and “asking for an injury” to a smaller female athlete.

Trenchant Analysis

People Abandoned Disney Over Terrible Storytelling, Not Primarily Politics
The Federalist | 02/21/2024 | Samuel Mangold-Lenett

The simple fact of the matter is that, overwhelmingly, people don’t actually care if their entertainment is ideological, but they do care if it sucks — which many of Disney’s recent releases do. Disney’s lackluster success in recent years has little, if anything, to do with their products being ideological. It has everything to do with the elevation of ideology over storytelling.

Suffice it to say that Disney’s ideological messaging over the last several years is a cultural cancer that deserves to be booed, jeered, and boycotted, but the reality is that people don’t mind patronizing a business with which they disagree so long as they receive a quality product, which Disney movies no longer appear to be.

Prioritizing “the message” while neglecting the mechanism that effectively conveys it is why people have checked out. Countless movies successfully launder ideology into the masses while not compromising on the story.

Send Me $20 To Find Out How This Story Ends

Growing Skepticism Over $50,000 Scam Story by Financial Advice Columnist
Rumble | February 21, 2024

A lot of people are amazed at the story of New York Magazine financial advice columnist Charlotte Cowles who claims she was scammed out of $50,000 by someone supposedly from Amazon who called her up about unusual activity in her account . . . To make a long story short, she was convinced by the wild stories concocted by this group to go to her bank, withdraw $50,000 in cash, and later place the money in a shoe box in the back of a car driven by a complete stranger.

. . . and . . .

Bellefontaine Man Scammed Out of $341,000

A 37-year-old Bellefontaine [Ohio] man reported to Bellefontaine Police that he was scammed out of $341,000 between November 17, 2023, and Monday.

The man said he initially deposited $200,000 to purchase gold online with a company and within a few days his investment grew to $800,000.

Yay!

When he went to withdraw money, the company informed him that he would need to pay $91,000 in taxes to be able to make the withdrawl.

Oh.

An unknown person went to the man’s home, collected the “tax” money, and told the victim that the money was placed with Bitcoin and that he would have to withdraw it through them.

Oh . . .

The person went on to tell the man that he would have to pay $50,000 to Bitcoin to have the money unblocked and deposited into his account.

Um . . .

The victim then paid the person and was told that he would have to contact the Department of Homeland Security because they had his money.

Now that’s funny.

When the victim was unable to successfully contact the office, he contacted the police.

Further investigation is pending.

Straight Line of the Day: With Binkley Out, the GOP Establishment Has Only One Slim Chance To Stop Trump…

Sort of a “Hail Maury” Play . . .

.

A “Christie / Binkley” ticket. A lot of people might vote for it, thinking it was a typo.

Welcome to IMAO! The Interns Have Only One Rule…

SI Swimsuit Madness : Round 3 Matches 75 & 76 : Round 3 Matches 73 & 74 Results

Happy Hump Day everyone. We get closer and closer to Spring! Here are last week results and we continue with the losers bracket.

Round 3 Match 73

Irina Shayk 84 Defeats Maila Manuel 53

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
60 votes

Round 3 Match 74

Josephine Skriver 95 Defeats Mia Kang 40

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
60 votes

Round 3 Match 75

Paige Spiranac vs Kelsey Merritt

Paige Sprianac

  • Round 1 Match 30 Lost to Natasha Barnard 22-189
  • Round 2 Match 43 Defeated Naomi Osaka 170-14

VS

Kelsey Merritt

  • Round 1 Match 22 Defeated Kelly Gale 71-67
  • Round 2 Match 59 Lost to Kate Austin 60-100

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
68 votes

Round 3 Match 76

Rose Bertram vs Leryn Franco

Rose Bertram

  • Round 1 Match 31 Lost to Robyn Lawley 81-109
  • Round 2 Match 44 Defeated Saje Nicole 170-6

VS

Leryn Franco

  • Round 1 Match 24 Defeated Lacy Schnoor 85-84
  • Round 2 Match 60 Lost to Kristen Louelle 60-115

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
65 votes

Wisdom off the Internet

Old barbershop advice. Sit at the chair with the guy that has the worst haircut. He may not be the best but certainly not the worst barber in the shop.

Whatever Mika Does With the Pair Is OK By Me

‘Morning Joe’ Guests Demonize White Rural Voters as a ‘Threat to Democracy’
Yahoo Entertainment | February 26, 2024 | Natalie Korach

Cohost Mika Brzezinski asked the pair, “Why are white rural voters a threat to democracy at this point?” 

Goaded, Huh?

Double dog dare ya!

Mom of NYC boy, 15, killed while subway surfing atop train car sues city’s transport network, TikTok and Meta claiming her phone ‘addict’ son was ‘affirmatively directed’ to deadly stunt by social media
DAILYMAIL.COM | 21 February 2024 | Ishita Srivastava

The mother of the 15-year-old New York boy who died while subway surfing last year has now launched a lawsuit against the city’s subway network, TikTok and Meta.

Norma Nazario’s son Zackery Nazario died while subway surfing on a Brooklyn-bound J train over the Williamsburg Bridge on February 20, 2023.

A low beam struck the teenager in the head, causing him to fall between the subway cars and before he could get away, a train ran over him.

A year after his death, Norma has filed a lawsuit against the MTA and the social media platforms, claiming that the apps ‘goaded’ her child into the deadly stunt by recommending similar videos.

The lawsuit seeks unspecified damages from TikTok, Meta and the MTA.