Oh, I Have a Pretty Good Idea Why

Have you seen your clients, NPR?

A Tech Billionaire Is Quietly Buying Up Land in Hawaii. No One Knows Why
npr | Feb. 28, 2024

Waimea . . . a mystery has been brewing in this small mountain town. Someone has been quietly buying hundreds of acres of land…

He’s the CEO and co-founder of San Francisco-based Salesforce, one of the world’s largest software companies, which owns the popular messaging service Slack and is worth nearly $300 billion. He also owns Time magazine. Benioff is hard to miss — the 59-year-old stands at a towering 6 feet, 5 inches and is often seen driving around Waimea in his white Hummer pickup, sporting his signature look of a baseball cap with his curly brown hair tumbling out back.

Benioff lives in a beachside mansion down the mountain from Waimea. He built the $24.5 million, 9,800-square-foot home about 20 years ago and also bought dozens of acres of ranch land in Waimea around that time, according to public records.

Jeff Bezos owns a sprawling beach mansion in Maui. Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg has plans to build a bunker on his land in Kauai, according to Wired. Benioff’s former boss, Oracle co-founder Larry Ellison, owns 98% of Lanai.

And here I am, gaping at the price of a fast-food meal.

And billionaires, hey, if you don’t want to be a kidnap victim, don’t sport a signature look. That’s for free.

Just Another Day in a Banana-Bread Republic

Why Is Panera Exempted From California’s New Minimum Wage Law?
Reason | 2-28-24 | Eric Boehm

When fast food restaurants across California have to start paying workers $20 per hour on April 1, one major chain will be exempted from the mandate—and it just so happens to have a connection to a longtime friend and donor to Gov. Gavin Newsom.

Panera Bread is poised to get a boost from a bizarre clause in the fast-food minimum wage law that exempts “chains that bake bread and sell it as a standalone item,” Bloomberg reports, adding that “Newsom pushed for that break, according to people familiar with the matter.”

That exemption stands to benefit Greg Flynn, owner and CEO of the Flynn Restaurant Group, a conglomerate that operates more than 2,300 restaurants nationally and is the second-largest Panera franchisee in the world, according to the company’s website. Flynn and Newsom go way back . . .

Are their workers less deserving than fast-food workers?

Or are their owners more kneady?

Yikes! Guess I Won’t Apply for a Concealed Carry Permit in Nassau County, NY!

New York Judge Just Says ‘No’ to Pee Tests for Concealed Carry Applicants
Bearing Arms | 2/22/24 | Cam Edwards

Even though New York’s discretionary “may issue” laws were ruled unconstitutional by the Supreme Court in 2022’s Bruen decision, some licensing authorities in the state are still using some awfully subjective criteria to determine whether or not an applicant will receive a concealed carry permit.

In Nassau County, for instance, applicants must submit a list of all former and current social media accounts used within the past 3 years, so police can pore over the content for evidence of “good moral character”, along with a notarized statement attesting to any minors that live full or part-time with the applicant as well as the name and contact information of your “current spouse or domestic partner and any other adults residing with you, including adult children.”

Along with the paperwork, Nassau County Police Commissioner Patrick Ryder also requires every applicant to submit to a urinalysis test to prove they’re drug-free, even though that isn’t required under New York law.

Cartoons and Memes

“Morning Miss Welch, all ready for Sadie Hawkins day?”

“Why do I need to be ready for that?”

“You don’t want to pull a muscle chasing after me.”

“I think we’re both safe.”

“Spoilsport.”

Winner

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This week.

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Which one is funniest?
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