Cartoons and Memes : Saturday Night Special

“Good evening Miss Cardinale, I see your ready for another Saturday Night Special.”

“Almost, just need to finish dressing.”

“You’re not?”

“Not what?”

“Finished.”

“I suppose…”

“Go with it.”

Winner

10.

This week

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Which one is funniest?
201 votes · 201 answers

Hopefully This Ruling Extends To Legal Citizens As Well

District Judge: Gun Ban For Illegal Immigrant Unconstitutional
Breitbart | 16 Mar 2024 | Awr Hawkins

On March 8, 2024, U.S. District Judge Sharon Johnson Coleman decided against a federal ban on gun ownership for illegal immigrant Heriberto Carbajal-Flores.

The case at hand centered on Carbajal-Flores, who was “charged with possession of a firearm while illegally or unlawfully in the United States.” He had a handgun in his possession “in the Little Village neighborhood of Chicago, Illinois,” on June 1, 2020. He was charged for being a non-citizen in possession for a firearm.

Coleman ultimately concluded, “The noncitizen possession statute, 18 U.S.C. § 922(g)(5), violates the Second Amendment as applied to Carbajal-Flores. Thus, the Court grants Carbajal-Flores’ motion to dismiss.”

Questions:

(1) Is entering the country illegally a felony?

(2) Is it illegal for a felon to possess a handgun?

(3) If yes, what’s the problem?

Well, What Do You Know? Ukraine vs. Russia Is a War After All

Russia Admits Its Invasion of Ukraine Is a ‘War’ For the First Time
Breitbart | 23rd March 2024 | Oliver JJ Lane

The Ukraine “special military operation” is a “de facto” war, Russia admitted for the first time, while blaming the West for the escalation and accusing Ukraine of occupying Russian territory.

Vladimir Putin’s chief spokesman Dmitry Peskov is the first senior Russian figure to acknowledge the country is at war, saying the conflict changed in nature after Western states began to arm Ukraine. Responding to internal comments about his comments on Friday, Peskov later clarified his position, saying that while the government acknowledged it is “de facto” at war, that did not change the state’s legal position that the invasion of Ukraine remains a “de jure” special military operation.

I’m sure the soldiers and civilians who have died care.

Dogs vs. Computers: Which Will Survive for Thousands of Years?

No fair — they don’t say whether the dust will kill the dog, or what the computer’s detection methods are.

Ballasts From the Past

San Francisco Makes Change to Stay-at-Home Order
SF Gate | December 15, 2020 | Amy Graff

If you live in San Francisco, you can now go on a walk with a friend and not be breaking the COVID-19 rules.

The SF Department of Public Health updated its stay-at-home order last week to allow two individuals from different households to spend time together outdoors, masked, and physically distanced and in certain outdoor recreation activities with safety protocols in place, officials said.

“This change was made to balance the risk of negative impacts on mental health for those in complete isolation of others and the risk of transmission between two masked, distanced individuals who are outdoors,” the department said in a statement. “Although it is safer not to have any interactions outside the household, people living alone especially need an outlet to maintain their well-being during the current surge.”

The city emphasized that while it’s now allowing two friends to meet outdoors, the underlining message is to avoid gatherings as much as possible.

San Francisco’s update to its rules around gatherings came after the state changed its order to allow playgrounds to open.

The updated order states that playgrounds will remain open “to facilitate physically distanced personal health and wellness through outdoor exercise,” according to the California Department of Public Health.

San Francisco Mayor London Breed said she was glad the state adjusted its rules and the city updated its guidelines to reopen outdoor playgrounds last Thursday.

Change in U.S. law will make millions more masks available to doctors and nurses, White House says
Washington Post | 3/20/20 | Jeanne Whalen

New legislation signed Wednesday provides manufacturers of N95 face masks protection against lawsuits . . .

What lawsuits, specifically, were they afraid of?

. . . when selling certain masks to healthcare workers, Pence said. That will free producers including 3M and Honeywell to sell tens of millions more masks per month to hospitals . . .

The change means Minnesota-based 3M will now be free to sell 420 million masks a year to the U.S. healthcare sector, Pence said.

The Best and the Brightest

Sen. Kennedy Humiliates Another Biden Judicial Nominee
PJ Media | March 21, 2024 | Matt Margolis

Sen. John Kennedy (R-La.) gave us another amusing demonstration of his ability to humiliate Joe Biden’s unqualified judicial nominees during Wednesday’s confirmation hearing.

United States District Judge Nancy Maldonado of the Northern District of Illinois, who has been nominated by Joe Biden for a spot on the United States Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit, had previously signed a brief supporting a ban on “assault weapons” in Illinois state courts in the 2010s, yet, when he asked her to define “assault weapons,” she couldn’t.

“You said, ‘assault weapons may be banned because they’re extraordinarily dangerous and are not appropriate for legitimate self-defense purposes,’” Kennedy said. “Tell me what you meant by assault weapons.”

“Just to clarify there, I was local counsel—” Maldonado said

“But you wrote the brief, tell me what you meant by assault weapons,” he pressed.

“Senator Kennedy, I actually I did not write the brief. The brief was written by—”

“You signed the brief, though, didn’t you?”

“Correct, I signed the brief,” she conceded.

“When you sign a brief you’re testifying to the court that everything in it is true, right?”

Maldonado also agreed with Kennedy’s characterization that as far as the court is concerned, since she signed the brief, the words were hers.

“Tell me what you meant by assault weapons,” Kennedy said.

“So, I am not a gun expert,” Maldonado responded.

Kennedy followed up by pointing out that she gave the court advice, essentially claiming to be an expert and advised that assault weapons should be banned.

“Just tell me what you wanted to ban,” he told her.

Sigh. Like passing laws to ban “hate speech.”

And He Wore Onions on His Belt

Biden Tells Bizarre Incoherent Story about Being the “Poorest Man in Congress”
Daily Fetched | March 21, 2024 | Jason Walsh

Joe Biden spoke to a small crowd during his speech in Las Vegas, Nevada, about his “plans” to lower housing costs when he abruptly began rambling about once being the “poorest man in Congress.”

“I had the [inaudible] things to be listed as the poorest man in Congress for 36 years,” Biden began.

“I got a phone call, my wife was campaigning. I was campaigning up in New Hampshire back when that statistic came out in the nineties,” he said.

“And she called — I used to call them because the kids were little when I was away, and say, how’s everything going?” Biden continued.

“I got this, fine. You know you’re in trouble when your wife or husband says ‘fine.’ I said, ‘what’s the matter?’ She said, ‘only elected officials’ husband and wife understand this,’” Biden continued.

“She said ‘Did you read today’s paper?’ I said, ‘they don’t have today’s paper, Wilmington paper, Delaware, up in — up in — with Lahey, I’m with Lahey from Vermont,’” Biden said.

“And she said ‘well, let me read it. Top of the fold, headline: Biden, poorest man in Congress. Is that true?’ I don’t know if it’s true, but it turned out it was true,” he added.

Letting Biden go off script is increasingly becoming a problem for his handlers.

Last week, Biden was stopped from taking questions from the media by his staff.

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