Walrus Decides To Move Again

“Well, That Was So Much Fun,” He Says, “I Think I’ll Do It Again”

“Do It Again” by the Beach Boys plays on his stereo, followed by “Like a Rolling Stone.”

Racists

MSNBC’s Wallace: ‘As With Racists, All the Conspiracy Theorists Are Republicans
Breitbart | 04/29/2024 | Pam Key

MSNBC host Nicolle Wallace said Monday on her show “Deadline” that it was not accurate to say everyone in the Republican Party is a conspiracy theorist but “as with racist, all of the conspiracy theorists are Republicans.”

Kamala Harris Tour To Target Black Male Voters
UK Telegraph | 4/29/2024 | Rozina Sabur

When I Say “Cook the Crap Out of My Steak,” I Mean It

Yecch. What is “Poultry Litter”?

Poultry litter consists of manure, feathers, spilled feed and bedding material that accumulate on the floors of the buildings that house chickens and turkeys. It can contain disease-causing bacteria, viruses (including H5N1), antibiotics, toxic heavy metals, pesticides and even foreign objects such as dead rodents, birds, rocks, nails and glass.

Yecch. Why should I care?

“It seems ghoulish, but it is a perfectly legal and common practice for chicken litter — the material that accumulates on the floor of chicken growing facilities — to be fed to cattle,” said Michael Hansen, a senior scientist with Consumers Union.

Yecch. And now, the Science!

Poultry litter causing the bovine cases of avian flu is considered “very unlikely, though not impossible” wrote Veronika Pfaeffle, in a joint statement from the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Food and Drug Administration.

Pfaeffle.

… epidemiologists scramble to figure out how dairy cows throughout the Midwest became infected with a strain of highly pathogenic avian flu … It is still unclear how the cows were infected — whether by contact with birds, or via feed made from litter waste — but litter has been associated with previous outbreaks of disease, including botulism.

Avian flu outbreak raises a disturbing question: Is our food system built on poop?
LA Times | April 18, 2024 | Susanne Rust

Obama’s Guest Bedrooms On Martha’s Vineyard and Hawaii Remain Mysteriously Unoccupied By Migrants and Unflooded by Ocean Rise

Political Scientists Scramble To Explain The Unexplainable

“It’s Like . . . I Don’t Know” Says SpokesNonIllegalPerson, From Behind Armed Guards With Things in Their Ears

Not Nearly as Lucrative as Posting Comments on IMAO

… Or being an intern …

California Cops, Firefighters, and Utility Workers Are Earning [Nearly] $800k a Year in Overtime Pay
Daily Mail | April 22, 2024 | Josh Boswell

Watchdogs have slammed California local government for spending billions in overtime pay – with police officers, firefighters, linemen and utility workers earning up to $792,000 in a single year.

Short staffing, poor planning,

IMAO again!

generous union deals and expensive hiring costs all contribute to civil servants relying heavily on overtime, experts told DailyMail.com.

It has given frontline workers a golden opportunity to earn several million dollars since 2019. But tax watchdogs say it is a raw deal for the taxpayer.

Senior Los Angeles fire captain Jason Getchius had a salary of $169,764 in 2022, the latest figures provided by the city. But by racking up $502,681 in overtime pay, he was able to earn an eye-popping total of $792,467.

San Francisco sheriff’s lieutenant Ronald Terry had a salary of $179,676. With $374,503 in overtime pay, he earned a total of $738,432 in 2022.

Lington Gordon, an electric crew foreman in Santa Clara, made $703,621 with $363,013 overtime, and Oakland police sergeant Timothy Dolan earned $699,345 with $376,998 overtime.

Since 2019, Dolan has earned almost $2.3 million and Gordon $2,231,958.

The figures come from the California State Controller and the charity Transparency California, which compiles salary data on State workers.

Experts say the workers have not done anything wrong, and are merely maximizing their income from local government bosses who have failed to hire enough people.

A little bit of FrankJ

Wish we could give you more but this is what he puts out for free which is all we can afford after taxes.

Top Ten List: The Return

It’s ten ranked things!

FRANK J. FLEMINGAPR 30∙PREVIEW
 
READ IN APP
 

Once again, it’s time for a ranked list of ten different items! And unlike other top ten lists, this one has no theme so you’ll have no idea what could come next!

It’s the most exciting thing on the internet.

As Confucius would say, let’sa go!


  1. Anya’s Death in the Buffy Vampire Slayer FinaleAnya may have been my favorite character from the Buffy series — vengeance demon turned arch-capitalist. And then, in the series finale, she just gets randomly killed during the final big battle, not doing anything particularly heroic. I almost couldn’t process it; “Wait; did Anya just die.” And then I basically tuned out of the rest of the finale. “Anya died — let’s focus on that. I don’t care about any of these other characters.” I hated that, and that’s why it’s at the bottom of this top ten list.
  2. The American Civil WarA war between the states. It seems so unnecessary, and lots of people died; why can’t we solve things with debate or maybe a game of hoops with everything on the line? Then again, it did end slavery, so that’s why it’s above Joss Whedon killing off comic relief.
  3. StaplerWhen was the last time I used one of these? Everything is online now; I don’t need to force a bunch of pieces of paper together with a little metal clip. But I guess if you absolutely need paper to stick together (and don’t mind putting holes in it), the stapler is the way to go.
  4. Flashbang GrenadeI get these all the time in video games, but I never use them. I guess it blinds and stuns people, but know what blinds and stuns people even more? A regular grenade. Still, I guess these are probably useful in real life where you don’t get points for killing everyone.
  5. Colonel Nathan R. Jessup“You can’t handle the truth!” Tom Cruise tried to make him look like the bad guy, but he was just trying, you know, to be on that wall. And we like need him on that wall… or stuff could get through the wall. Bad stuff. Still, probably shouldn’t have murdered someone…

Straight Line of the Day: Musical Detectives (Reprise)

I don’t feel like we’ve completely discharged this vein.

What else have Musical Detectives uncovered?

Here’s a redhead to get you motivated:

“I just l…o…v…e… funny entries. Know what I mean?”

Welcome to IMAO! Female Spy Runs Afoul of Notorious Villain Tinfinger

Caption This!

Babesleaga Group Z : Week 3 : Katy Perry vs Fergie

Good night.

Katy Perry vs Fergie

Katy Perry (2-0-0 Pts. 190 Avg. 95.00)

  • Defeated Rhianna 104-14
  • Defeated Mariah Carey 86-33

VS

Fergie (1-1-0 Pts. 100 Avg. 50.00)

  • Lost to Britney Spears 42-66
  • Defeated Jennifer Lopez 58-54

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
101 votes · 101 answers

Babesleaga Group Z : Week 3 : Jennifer Lopez vs Natasha Bedingfield

Good evening.

Jennifer Lopez vs Natasha Bedingfield

Jennifer Lopez (1-1-0 Pts. 121 Avg. 60.50)

  • Defeated Olivia Rodrigo 67-45
  • Lost to Fergie 54-58

VS

Natasha Bedingfield (2-0-0 Pts. 137 Avg. 68.50)

  • Defeated Mariah Carey 62-40
  • Defeated Olivia Rodrigo 75-31

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
105 votes · 105 answers

How Old Is Ryan Anastasio?

Somebody Check With Him in Fifty Years and See What He Has To Say

High-Speed Rail System From Las Vegas to Southern California Breaks Ground
CNBC Business News | 22 April 2024 | Ryan Anastasio

The Brightline West system will reach speeds of 200 miles per hour across a 218-mile route between Las Vegas and three California stops including Rancho Cucamonga, about 40 miles east of Los Angeles…The project received $3 billion in funding from the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law and the rest will be privately funded…

Who Hasn’t Wanted To Own a Cute Turtle Tank?

Russia SWARMS Ukraine Town With Upgraded Turtle Tanks
YouTube | April 22, 2024 | HistoryLegends

Difficult situation in Krasnohorivka. Major attack by 5th Motorized Brigade of the DPR supported by turtle tanks. Urgent need of reinforcements for Ukraine.

Whatever. How’s our southern border doing?

Babesleaga Group Z : Week 3 : Olivia Rodrigo vs Britney Spears

Good afternoon.

Olivia Rodrigo vs Britney Spears

Olivia Rodrigo (0-2-0 Pts. 76 Avg. 38.00)

  • Lost to Jennifer Lopez 45-67
  • Lost to Natasha Bedingfield 31-75

VS

Britney Spears (2-0-0 Pts. 180 Avg. 90.00)

  • Defeated Fergie 66-42
  • Defeated Rhianna 114-11

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
102 votes · 102 answers

At Last, A Sport IMAO Can Get Behind

European Gull Screeching Championship
EuroWeekly News | 22 Apr 2024 | John Smith

The town of De Panne in Belgium hosted the European Seagull Screeching Championships on Sunday, April 21, and there was definitely a Pan-European turn out.

The championship is very much a Belgian-organized affair …

I knew it!

… with categories for adults, children, and groups …

… although the fact that the competition took place in a packed-out bar where the beer was flowing and a comedian was booked to follow the event might indicate a certain tongue-in-cheek attitude …

Is it going to be in the Onolympics?