Gee whiz, Wally, after Gilligan’s Island, this would come on? I had to retire to my bedroom early.

MeTV says:

In the futuristic year 1983, a sub-orbital transport spacecraft carrying passengers from Los Angeles to London encounters a strange space storm and is transported to a planet where everything is 12 times bigger than its earthly counterpart. Led by Captain Steve Burton (Gary Conway), the crash-landed survivors look for a way home while fighting for survival in a giant, hostile world controlled by an authoritarian government bent on their capture.

So, a documentary.

I guess back then they were grooming boys in a good way:

“Oppo? “

“Oppo?”

I spent all next day in school musing with my pencil.

Yeah, not musing about the guys.

In my imagination, it should have been called “Land of the Giant Penises.”

“Oh, no.”

“Oh no.”

14-year-olds are no freaking joke.

She sure seemed to have a knack for getting into trouble.

“Mmmmph!”

“Mmmph!”

“Here, honey; let’s go outside into the jungle before I untie you!”

“Mmmmph!”

Lighting Director sure knew what he was doing:

He sure gets around.

“Almost there…. Almost there…”

Plot summary, from Season 1, Episode 26:

• A gang of rebels are attacking the Secret Police headquarters. Inspector Kobick needs the help of the Little People promising their freedom if he catches them. However, he keeps Betty in hostage, while Burton and Mark are going under the city’s sewers to track them down, as they are also counterfeiters…
• Val, Betty, and Fitzhugh are captured by the SID and are being questioned by Kobick when a bomb goes off. Kobick frees Val and Fitz, but not Betty, and they head back for camp with a note from Kobick asking for their help in tracking down the radicals, who are also running a counterfeiting operation with the promise of no further SID harassment. Steve and Mark are then asked to go into the sewer system to trace the special ink trail that is coming from the gang’s hideout. In the meantime, Steve, who doesn’t trust Kobick, tells the others to head back to Kobick’s office to free Betty, who is trapped in a force field.

Sounds like the everyday routine at IMAO. Back to the pencil eraser.

Almost there!

“Oh, no!”

Plot Summary of Season 2, Episode 11, “The Clones”

Episode aired Nov 30, 1969:

A Giant scientist experimenting with cloning technology succeeds in cloning Valerie and Barry. These are returned to the camp where they prepare a booby trap to kill the rest of the Earth party.

Heh.

Episode 13:

While the castaways are collecting fireworks at a carnival for gun powder to use to make explosives, Barry is injured when a young giant boy shoots off a roman candle. Steve, Mark and Valerie take him into a miniature balloon gondola to keep him from getting hit by more sparks, but the balloon is accidentally released and heads for the sky. They immediately are caught in an incredible windstorm and are taken to the other side of the planet where they find a society run by the dictator Titus. Titus can’t believe that there is another society on the other side of the planet and orders Steve to go back and bring back proof with the ultimatum that if he doesn’t return within hours that Mark, Val and Barry will be killed.

“Where the hell’s my pencil?”

Some could call it soft porn. I’d call it granite-hard porn for a 14-year-old.

Season 2, Episode 17:

“The travelers come across a bizarre giant capable of hypnotizing people with his mysterious flute…”

Heh.

You’ll be glad to know it ended after Season 2, Episode 25.

Next time, the many bendable poses of Audra Barkley.

Between these, Ginger and Mary Ann, and that chick on the Munsters, and the girls who arrived at my school in little kilts, I honestly don’t know how I got out of my adolescence.

Oh, that’s right: I didn’t.