We got our hands on a Spielberg/Hanks production, with Ron Howard to direct. All we need is a plot and snack-food and soda endorsements and so forth.
SCENE: A feisty 5′ 2″ black girl goes into a redneck bar and hears some 6′ 8″ rednecks redneckling some trans pro-abortionist [note: need to determine how that came up in conversation], as they drink their redneck beers. No Bud Lights in sight. After a successful and awesome fight, she…
[Here’s where the script needs some massaging and messaging.]
Harvey Weinstein is interviewing some cute white teen girls for the role.
Our choice:
SCENE: A feisty 5′ 2″ black girl goes into a redneck bar and hears some 6′ 8″ rednecks redneckling some trans pro-abortionist [note: need to determine how that came up in conversation], as they drink their redneck beers. No Bud Lights in sight. After a successful and awesome fight, she… suddenly recognizes that every single person in the bar is an FBI agent, including the trans pro-abortionist…
Simone Biles walks into a bar and sees LeBron James making fun of her and does a double twist jumping roundhouse kick on him and breaks his jaw and it gets wired shut.
I love a happy ending. Can we make it so that there is a problem and the wires can never be removed?
He flopped.
… her morph timer runs out, so she turns back into a 6’3″ cablinasian hermaphrodite as he gets into her combination solar-powered superhero vehicle & public transportation (it’s complicated) and speeds towards the Hall of Diversity, dropping off passengers at posted stops on schedule en route.
After a successful and awesome fight, she…has an awkward moment with the transsexual that leads to an unexpected buddy alliance…
Ah yes, the classic meet-cute. Every good RomCom needs to have one.
After a successful and awesome fight, she…thinks to herself, this can’t possibly be the Little Women reboot she was sold on in preproduction…
… before she gets attacked by a legion of one-inch valkyries.
Mixed race individuals in California are upset when they find out that their white half has to pay more in reparations than their black half will receive. So they go burn down Minnesota. Harris-Walz campaign says this is proof that their two states can work together, a spin approved by the media. The End. Literally.
A feisty 5′ 2″ black girl goes into a redneck bar and hears some 6′ 8″ rednecks redneckling some trans pro-abortionist [note: need to determine how that came up in conversation. No you don’t, they(them?) probably wore a pushy T-shirt that blatantly stated some incredibly offensive things the left loves], as they drink their redneck beers. No Bud Lights in sight. After a successful and awesome fight, she…
makes a moral superiority quip to the rednecks, using many, many, multi-syllable words. Then she pulls out her phone and uses her lightning fast (Insert brand) network to update her car insurance using the latest (Insert company) app.
After her meet-cute, she is introduced to the trans baby killers friends, where the next bit of drama starts because one friend is Asian and couldn’t get into Ivy League school because of African American quotas.
After a successful and awesome fight, she…
…. lures that well-endowed weather girl to help massage the script, and other stuff.
I’d pay to see that!
Hollywood Blackbluster
Hicks nix pic in sticks.