
We are back, you mis me?
Wonder Woman, undressing and leering,
Asked — I thought — if I wanted a tuck
Unfortunately, I’m hard of hearing
And just as hard is my luck.
.
Your turn:
.
There once was a liberal plan
To make a woman resemble a man;
“We’ll have this perfected,
It’ll get us elected!”:
_________________________________
… even the ones that aren’t intrinsically funny.
Registered sex offender pleads guilty after cutting ankle monitor, abusing 10 PNW teens
Star Wars sound effect: “PNW! PNW! PNW!”
KOIN | Aug 8, 2025 | Michaela Bourgeois
“The name is Bourgeois. Michaela Bourgeois. I’d like a Michelob in a wine flute.”
A registered sex offender pleaded guilty to federal charges in Seattle on Friday after sexually abusing teenage girls in Washington and Oregon, authorities announced.
Not funny. This story turned dark quickly.
But at least he was registered!
The United States Department of Justice said 28-year-old James “Jake” Harrison Newcomer admitted to sexually abusing 10 teen girls he met through social media between February and April of 2024.
James “Jake” Harrison Newcomer.
James “Jake” Harrison Newcomer.
Nope. Can’t see it as a Witness Protection Program name.
According to records filed in the case, Newcomer was on state supervision after more than two years in prison…
Define “supervision.”
On January 19, 2024, however, the monitor lost connection and when officers went to arrest Newcomer on January 25, 2025, he had left the home and could not be found, the DOJ said.
Ah. OK. As long as you have a definition.
Over the next three months, Newcomer posed as a teen boy online and contacted teen girls on social media, authorities explained.
And you want us to believe that after April 2024 he just magically stopped until you arrested him nine months later?
… Authorities noted that travel with the intent to engage in sexual acts is punishable by up to 30 years in prison …
Wait, what?
Wouldn’t that make dating illegal?