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John Hawkins also rented and really really hated Superman Returns. While I found the movie way too touchy-feely and lacking in action, I think Hawkins’s criticism is a bit unfair. For one, the making fun of the glasses disguise for Superman/Clark Kent is something people have been doing forever, and you if you can’t just give that a pass because that’s part of Superman’s history, then you’re setting yourself up to not like the film.
I was once curious on how people could explain why that disguise would ever work, so I turned to the one place you would count on for lengthy discussions of every aspect of every comic book character: Wikipedia! I think the best explanation of why people wouldn’t immediately realize that Clark Kent is Superman is that no one would think that Superman has an alter ego. If you had god-like powers, why in the world would you waste anytime posing as a milquetoast newspaper reporter?
Plus, Clark Ken slouches. If you slouch no one would recognize you, not even the teen-age, web-toed French whore that raised you would recognize you if you sloched. I know.
Have an Evil day.
Geeeeze! As ANY high school geek or AV nerd will tell you…wearing glasses makes you INVISIBLE to women! As for we men, well, we just hear the name and assume the guy is who he says he is and don’t look twice.
Unless you’re gay.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
Displaying my geekiness here….
Back in the late 1970s, early 1980s, they had an issue of Superman that “solved” this issue.
Basically he has some kind of super-hynosis that’s on all the time. His glasses are made out of the same glass that came with his rocket ship, and they thus magnify this power, projecting the image of how he wants everyone to see him. He doesn’t do it on purpose, though.
Ok, now I have to go put my comic books back in their vacuum-sealed bags. =D
I was planning to boycott this movie, mainly because the poolboy pencilneck geek they chose to play Superman is a disgusting insult to my Benevolent Overlord Kal El, but having read Hawkins’ review, I am even more determined not to see it. If I knew I could get away with this I would steal every copy from every rental store in town and light them on fire…but that’s just getting too crazy about it I guess.
What people who hate it don’t seem to mention when they talk about how crappy the premise is, is that this movie was made in hollyweird, the most media driven creepshow on earth. If Lois saves Superman’s life in this crapfest of a movie, it’s because the producers are pushing the agenda that reporters are the most powerful people in the world and the only source of hope for all of us is to look to the media for salvation. I must admit if I weren’t a well trained concubine, I would definately have attempted to explode all of Southern California in it’s f-d up pretentiousness years ago, but my Benevolent Overlord says I should learn to control my violent outbursts or I’ll get a spanking…so I’m “working” on it.
I think Martha Kent said it best in the Dean Cain “Lois & Clark” show. They were trying out different looks for his suit, and after settling on the traditional Superman suit, noticing how form-fitting it was, she said, “Well, one thing’s for sure. nobody is going to be looking at your face!”
Superman has always been gay. Now Captain America, there is a real super hero! Besides being gay, superman is an illegal alien!
Superman returns stunk because the characters were all lame. Hollywood always wants to be “edgy” and “controversial”, but never wants to offend the liberal powers that be who sign their paychecks. So it is inevitiable that their stories are liberal fantasies.
This one is about the powerlessness of a “Superman” who is bailed out of trouble by a “independant woman” just because she might like him.
Electra tried to make a hero out of an assasin and a little girl. Daredevil, well anything starring Ben Aflack and requiring action is doomed to failure. The punisher movie actually could have been really good, but had a lame ending and that loser from Seaquest.
It’s not the glasses disguise that bugs me so much as it is the fact that no one has EVER said, “Ya know, without your glasses, you kinda look like Superman,”, to which Clark would give the natural response, “Heh. Yeah, I get that all the time.”
This reminds me of a Saturday Night Live sketch in which “The Rock” played Superman and the gag was everyone knew Clark Kent was Superman, but he still though he was fooling everyone.
The Diniverse Superman is still the best.