I will be on the Passionate America Show in just a few minutes. Go over to Wild Bill’s site to listen to it live.
There will be book giveaways!
UPDATE: The podcast of the interview is up here. You can’t here her, but sometimes I’m responding to SarahK who was busy packing books at the time. The interview starts out a bit boring, but gets pretty good, I think. I guess I’m better when responding to someone and not left to rant on endlessly.
Archive of entries posted on 8th December 2006
I Question the Timing of This
IMAO is (so I’ve been told), in the running for Best Humor Blog in the 2006 Weblog Awards.
And today I noticed that some group calling itself the Monger Horde is encouraging people to spread vicious fabrications about Frank J.
Obviously a clandestine smear campaign designed by IMAO’s competition.
They’re asking “What changes would FrankJ make to the Bush administration as a cabinet member?”
Which is just a silly question, because Frank J. isn’t going to join Bush’s cabinet.
He’s going to replace John Bolton as the UN ambassador.
“But,” I hear you whine in protest, “Frank J. is just a sad little effeminate girly-man with no facial hair! How can he replace the fearsomeness of The Mighty Stache?”
Simple.
Although Frank J. is swishy as an industrial washing machine and has a face so amazingly baby-like that it makes Leonardo DiCaprio look like Clint Eastwood, he’s not completely without weaponry.
(see extended entry for Frank’s weaponry)
Best of IMAO 2006
Since we’re nominated for best humor weblog in the Weblog Awards (Lair should have a post up later about how important this is), I was thinking we should go back through our posts this year for evidence we were funny. Thus, I made the Best of IMAO 2006 category and have started to go back through my own posts and tag the ones worth rereading (I’ve made it through March so far) and have instructed the other IMAO bloggers to do the same. We probably should have done this for every year.
Remember, you can vote every 24 hours, but, if you can figure some way to hack to vote for us, that would be great. They say cheaters will be banned, but, if you’re good at cheating, they won’t catch you in the first place so I find that to be a hollow threat.
BTW, John Hawkins of Right Wing News (who, through glaring omission, isn’t up for anything in the Weblog Awards) has named IMAO one of his favorite blogs again, up eleven places from last time. Everyone loves IMAO!
I have to get to work signing and mailing the books. And remember to listen for me on the Passionate America Show at 5pm ET today (I had the time wrong). There may be prizes!
ISG Approved Products – Buy Them Today!!
Sometimes, an organization springs forth bringing goodness and light to humanity. Their efforts are so profound, you want them to never go away. Such are my feelings for the Iraq Study Group.
I’ve never felt this way about an organization. They looked at the situation in Iraq, with Iran sending insurgents to kill Iraqis and Americans, and decided- “Maybe Iran could help us?”
Unfortunately, once the ISG authors are done with their whirlwind tour, we may never feel their impact again.
Fear not, because I have it on good authority that the ISG is branching out to offer solutions for ALL of our needs, not just in dealing with Iraq.
For the Christmas season, I present to you…
Products And Or Services Approved by the ISG.
Product: How To Win Friends And Influence People.
ISG Recommendation. “Michael Richards is well known for his wacky depiction of the Seinfeld character Kramer. This updated-for-today cassette tape collection (also available on 8-track) will show you how to reach out and make friends. Mr. Richards hasn’t made the news of late, but you should read this to see how to: Handle hecklers and detractors – Conduct a PR Campaign – and put together comedy material that will have people roaring. ”
**
Product: The Put Er Out Fire Extinguisher
ISG Recommendation: The Put Er Out is a perfect example of what a roaring fire needs. When everything you own is in danger of going up in flames, a little bit of this will do the trick. Many people might see Put Er Out as a source of the destruction, but that is also the key to addressing the solutions.
**
Service: The Ride With Strangers Program
ISG Recommendation: “School busing provides one of the most needed services in our education system today. No, not teaching. Bus rides for poor, helpless kids. By increasing diversity at our schools, we can transform our schools from a bunch of white kids who can’t read, to a bunch of kids with different skin colors – who can’t read.
We have screened our drivers through a very intensive process called – ” Do You Think You Can Help Us? ”
**
We will be providing information on other valuable ISG endorsed products as they come online.
Did you vote? IMAO has been nominated at the Weblogawards site for Best Humor Blog. Please swing by and vote. You may vote once every 24 hours and we’d like to have a year when we don’t finish behind comments spam and the pop up ads for free computers.
What is Mahmoud Abbas Praying For? #15
It’s Friday, so you know it’s time for the wire services to post the non sequitur non-news story of Mahmoud Abbas praying at a mosque.
However, this week’s different… this week we’re going to start a new feature called:
So, from Mahmoud Abbas’ expressions, can you tell what Mahmoud Abbas is praying for?
Is it:
a) Someone to fix the air conditioner. The hum is driving him nuts!
b) His assistants to stop trying to steal his watch. And when he puts his hand on his watch while he prays, they steal his wallet. Why? Why, Allah, why?
c) John Kerry to hook him up with his Botox doc. His face feels like a mudlike, for Allah’s sake!
d) More padding in the floor. Damn, that smarts!
e) When someone breaks him off a piece of that KitKat bar, they break it off of the end that they haven’t sucked the chocolate off of.
or
f) NONE OF THE ABOVE
Put your guesses in the comments.
Friday Catblogging
Since it’s Friday, I thought I’d spread the joy of humor-free, apolitical Friday Catblogging to IMAO (aka “I-MEOW”).
While the other IMAO bloggers mindlessly whore for votes in this 2006 Weblog Awards crapfestival like a bunch of liberals fighting for space on Michael Moore’s ass to kiss (not that it’s all that hard to do, considering the size of his revolting backside), I’m doing my best to recover from the shock long enough to get back to the catblogging routine.
Anyway, it’s time for Frisky the Cavekitty:
If you’re not sure how this absurd scene pertains to IMAO, since IMAO is famous for that “political humor” thing, it doesn’t. If you must have some semblance of politics or humor in everything you read here, just assume that Frisky is… um…
Help me out here. Make your suggestions in the comments how this scene is, in fact, a political allegory.
You can find more examples of Friday catblogging by searching a blog search engine such as Technorati for “catblogging.”
You can also find a roundup of catblogging posts at The Friday Ark, located at The Modulator blog.
Then, when the weekend is nearly over, head over to The Carnival of the Cats for more kitty goodness.
There’s also Flickr Groups called Furry Friday and Friday Catblogging.
Anybody I miss?
Get Frank’s book free!
Well, actually not directly anyway. I didn’t know about this before today:
Nearly a year ago, The Motley Fool published an article titled “You’re still paying for the Spanish-American War,” which noted that, bizarre though it may be, we’ve all been socked on each phone bill with an excise tax that went into effect long ago to pay for the Spanish-American War. Well, sometimes our friends in Washington do something right. The tax has indeed finally come to an end, and we’re even being offered refunds.
The money is out there for you — you just have to jump through a few hoops in order to get it.
Here are a few things to know, courtesy of Dick Hansen at refundphonetax.com and also from the Internal Revenue Service:
You are to claim the refund on the 2006 tax form that you file in 2007.
You can opt for a standard refund of $30 (if you have one exemption), $40 (if you have two), $50 (if you have three) or $60 (if you have more). This option requires no documentation from you.
If you have (or want to go through the trouble of procuring) your telephone bill statements from March 2003 to July 2006, you can get a refund based on amounts you were actually charged. In most cases, this can amount to a lot more than the standard refund — perhaps as much as $100 to $300 for many of us. You’ll need to fill out IRS Form 8913 for this.
If this is the first time you’ve heard of this, you’re morally obligated to use a portion of the refund to buy one, two, maybe even three, copies of Frank’s book. I would recommend you buy a copy with your own money, but I haven’t read it because Frank hasn’t sent me a gratis copy yet–cheap S.O.B.
Today’s Simpsons Trivia
1) (T/F) Bart and his army use cream pies against Nelson the bully
2) To whom does Homer take the Simpsons when he decides they’re the worst family in town?
3) When Bart prank calls Moe, he asks for Jacques who?
4) According to the tabloid, what is the main course of “Bigfoot” Homer’s diet?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.