My muse has left me. It’s December and I usually slow down until the new year, but I was hoping for a few more funny posts before I head off for Christmas vacation at the end of next week. No news story has got my funny sense tingling, though.
Throw some stuff in the comments and I’ll play off of you until I’m funny inspired. Or, go to Sadly, No! They’re supposed to be funny.
I went to Sadly, No once, and that’s when I found out they were supporting Deb Frisch, pee aitch dee. I never went back.
I once went to Sadly, No! and they had a picture of a bunny and I stared at the bunny for hours.
But they haven’t had a picture of a bunny the other times I’m visited them.
I once went to Sadly, No! and they had a picture of a kitty cat and I stared at the kitty cat for exactly 2 hours. I know how many hours it was because it was a kitty cat clock.
Or, go to Sadly, No! They’re supposed to be funny.
Listen, just because you ain’t got teh funny today it’s no reason to be rude.
I can’t make Sadly, No! funny, so give me some other topic.
What a coincidence. They can’t make it funny either.
(Ba dum bum)
My muse has left me.
Which Muse was it? Clio, Calliope, Erato, Euterpe, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Urania, or Thalia? Answering that question is the first step to a successful cure. I’m guessing Terpsichore, myself; I’ve always thought that you were somewhat terpsichorean.
Which Muse was it?
Man, I can’t remember her name. She has blond hair and a bit of a lisp.
Well, that leaves out Selma Hayek.
I have a topic for you. How about a story, set on a world with space travel that’s experiencing a war? Maybe you could have two guys, one who thinks he’s smart and might actually be smart and another who thinks he’s stupid and might actually be… uh, something. Throw in a blood-crazed killbot of a female soldier and a cute female soldier who is a little ditzy.
You could call it, oh, I don’t know, something like Hades Destraightener or Devil’s Demesne Crookeder or something like that.
Veeshir,
Sounds good, but I don’t like the space travel part.
Actually, I’m plan on working on the writing of something similar tonight.
FrankJ. If you can’t make something funny out of this, you probably need a hiatus
terror of being french
I’m only being this obnoxious because you’ve already signed my book.
Although I’m still a little unsure about it being actually real (I mean c’mon, PJ the sock-puppet as the proof it’s real?).
It supposedly made it to and then left Capitol Heights, MD the 12th and they’re still showing the same info they showed on the 12th.
Now I’m curious, how did you subborn the USPS? Are they worried you really will nuke the Moon?
Isn’t Aquaman supposed to do these kind of jobs. Aquaman’s job has been exported to China. He’s been replaced by a 7-ffot-9 yak herdsman from Inner Mongolia
Aquaman Loses Job
What’s next!
Brian,
That won’t work. Common misunderstanding with humor.
See, if a story is already extremely funny by itself, then there is little to do with it.
I don’t know if you can get humor out of this, but it made me laugh.
A CNN anchor being treated as he deserves.
Warning, it has cussing. Duh, it’s Andrew Dice Clay. He uses the mother of all words, the F-dash-dash-dash word!
Here are some new refrains to the Beatles: Get Back
Every body join in!
Ahmadinenutjob waiting for the imam
Rising from that stinky well
Blamin all the troubles on the bad Israelis
headin’ for the nuclear hell
Little Johhny Jihad tried to be a big man
Couldn’t handle being chaste
Strapped upon his body lot and lots of ammo
Now he is a splattered waste
Gotta cover up all of those ugly women
Jihadis are just too weak
Tend to get excited lookin at a sausage
Jihadi’s a disgusting freak
Wanna go to heaven just to get some virgins
Can’t find any on the Earth
Kissing on his bomb he gets Mohammed’s whorehouse
Dumb Jihadi has no worth
Jack Wheeler wrote the following:
“Intro it with a clip of Tony Blair saying with digital lip synching:
“We need to ask Moslem immigrants in England: Why did you come here? Why did you leave your country and come to ours? If you do not believe in the values of our culture, you need to get back to yours. If you wish to live in a land of Moslem Sharia law, you are free to do so – by moving to a Moslem country and out of Britain.
“So my message to those Moslems who have come intent not on conforming to our culture but on forcing us to conform to theirs is: get back, go home, get back to where you belong. And who can say that better than England’s most famous export, the greatest rock group in music history, The Beatles?”
Then comes the actual rooftop video with the Beatles’ real voices and real music, with the words of the revised lyrics above digitally inserted. The total length of the Get Back Mohammed video clip would be less than four minutes – perfect for YouTube downloads in the millions around the world.
That’s going on the offensive. That’s delivering a serious message with mockery and fun and rock n’ roll. The fight against Islamofascism will be a dangerous one of good versus evil. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun fighting it.”
Any brave techie wizards out there want this one?
This might violate the humor thing you explained to Brian, but what about this?
“See, if a story is already extremely funny by itself, then there is little to do with it.”
Oh, I don’t know. Try to get in touch with your own inner Frenchman. Start with an irresistible urge to surrender. If nothing comes to mind, you can always review old Jerry Lewis movies.
“‘Sadly, No!’ They’re supposed to be funny.”
They’re not.
Since you aren’t producing any new funny, I finally bought your book. I realized that I had just enough money still stashed away in my PayPal account to buy a signed copy, so I did.
I hope you’re satisfied now, Frank J.
I hope you’re satisfied now, Frank J.
Very satisfied.
FrankJ, instead of buying your book, can I send you ammo?
Hkpistole,
“Can I send you ammo?”
I don’t think you can get a tax write off on that unless Frank is non-for-profit.
Pelosi Intelligence plan
If this ain’t funny, nuthin is.
Man, if I were french I’d be terrified too.
Neo-anderthal,
it’s not about tax benefits, it’s because FrankJ deserves and would appreciate Ammo.
How about a Know Thy Enemy: Santa Claus, or an In My World: North Pole Edition. I hear Bush is aching for a PS3, and wants to make sure the fat man delivers.
If you go to Michelle Malkin’s Hot Air blog there is a recent post about how drinking soy milk as a child causes boys to go gay which is causing the huge explosion nationwide. I guess the theory is that it increases female hormones and causes the male “package” to be underdeveloped. Obviously my parents NEVER fed me any of this stuff–if you know what I’m sayin!!!
Ahem, Veeshir, but sockpuppet P.J. is already 100 pages into said book and has caused great consternation for his wife as his laughing uproariously has disturbed 5 1/2 month old daughter from sleep. I drove Ari Fleischer around during the Iowa caucuses in 2000 and I can totally see him playing Metroid on GameBoy.
Kofi Annan gave his farewell speech at the Truman Library in Missouri highlighting the 5 lessons he learned in his 10 years as the chief d**khead of the UN:
1. Everyone’s security is linked to everyone else’s.
2. We are responsible for each other’s welfare.
3. Both security and development ultimately depend on respect for human rights and the rule of law.
4. Governments must be accountable for their actions in the international arena, as well as in the domestic one.
5. We can only do all these things by working together through a multilateral system, and by making the best possible use of … the United Nations.
Somehow, he made this whole speech without giggling. Come on…..he’s talking about the U.N. here. They’re the undisputed kings of insecurity, chaos, corruption, dithering, unintended consequences, and human rights violations (selling women, pedophilia & child prostitution , etc.).
Arise, FrankJ! This speech is almost as ripe for humor as Michael Moore’s manifesto.
SMR,
Yeah, Kofi’s farewell does kinda deserve an IMW.
FrankJ- You are right, thats why you writing and me reading teh funny is the best way to run things.
Yes, Kofi needs to learn why one should “fear the ‘stache!”
(Preferably in combination with a visit by Chomps and the Rumsfeld Strangler)
(And Dick Cheney with a shotgun)
I wrote an Uncyclopedia article on John Bolton.
All my complaining and complaining and whining and stuff worked, I finally received my signed copy.
So PJ, I’ll accept you exist. At least as much as anybody except me exists.
Well, except on Tuesdays, that’s when I believe in solipsism.
One point of law, FrankJ, a hand-drawn facsimile of a restraining order is not legally binding.
Maybe your Muse just needed time off. Just where would your Muse go for the holidays and could she get through airport security to get there?