Santa’s cutting back this year. As evidence of that, …
well I’m not saying good little Alien boys and girls are going to do without this year but… good little Alien boys and girls are doing without this year.
…rumors that Santa was berating the kitchen staff, saying, “Why the hell would I want to spend money on a ham, goose, or roast when we already have all this venison available?”
Santa’s cutting back this year. As evidence of that, …
no more coal for liberals.
Santa’s cutting back this year. As evidence of that, …
well I’m not saying good little Alien boys and girls are going to do without this year but… good little Alien boys and girls are doing without this year.
….he’s replacing the elf union labor with alien scab labor.
Actually, they’re really good at not leaving scabs…
Santa’s cutting back this year. As evidence of that, …
going back to the original 8 reindeer format.
Ah, the classic 8-trek!
Santa’s cutting back this year. As evidence of that, …
he is using as gifts, rejects found on the Island of Misfit toys.
Santa’s cutting back this year. As evidence of that, …
regifting.
…coal futures are down 25%…
… huge cutbacks on Obamaphones
… the arctic ice sheet is growing…
honey badgers instead of reindeer.
instead of gifts, he’s giving greeting cards that state, “I’m your huckleberry.”
Replacing elves in the workshop with undocumented workers.
… the North Pole called Joe Biden to tell him his malarkey shipment would be minimal this year. (Not to worry, Biden has plenty to spare.)
… Santa invested “heavily” in Amazon futures…
… Santa has cut back to a single “ho”…
… delivery is no longer guaranteed by Dec. 25th…
…the bourbon aisle at the North Pole Liquor Emporium isn’t empty.
…actual bells have been replaced by a jingle ringtone.
…FruitCakes have been declared a protected minority and are allowed in the lgbtqia group.
That tofu was the result of a fat finger error. The people responsible have been sacked.
Those also responsible for the sacking have been sacked.
Those responsible for sacking the sacker have been sacked.
…rumors that Santa was berating the kitchen staff, saying, “Why the hell would I want to spend money on a ham, goose, or roast when we already have all this venison available?”
…he is no longer donating to the Clinton Foundation.
Hillary Clinton…“That’s a mighty nice sled you got there…be a shame if anything…happened…to it…”
…all model trains are now Amtrak.
… the Prole-r Express.
…instead of wrapping paper, gifts now just left in plastic Was-Mart bags.
Let Aquaman and the Lorax fight over which is worse.
Santa’s cutting back this year. As evidence of that, …
he is now using Democrat accounting methods, wink-wink.
…all treats in the stockings are made with Soylent Elf.
…and “venison” jerky.
…was the red sleigh I saw parked in front of the Title Loan office yesterday.
…he’s been making a lot of business trips to Vietnam and Malaysia.
…the bar for getting naughty listed has been lowered to include misplacing apostrophes.
Santa’s cutting back this year. As evidence of that, …
He’s letting all the children sit on Joe Biden’s lap instead of his this year.
Oooh, can they fluff his leg hair!?!
No longer see you when you’re sleeping
But will he still know when you’re awake?