…because of the DNA they left in my toilet but I’ll be damned if I’m the one who’s going to collect it.. besides I’m not the one who trapped 18 stray cats and sent them to the Cat House.
MSNBC was at my house and some chick who looked like Rachael Maddcow jumped out of a van like a pissed off Robert Di Nero and started accusing me of being a Far Right Wing Cat Killer.
That candy bar I had safely stashed is gone, and so is my wife’s underwear. The boxes labelled “Classified stuff I’m holding for Biden” are still there.
…because of the DNA they left in my toilet but I’ll be damned if I’m the one who’s going to collect it.. besides I’m not the one who trapped 18 stray cats and sent them to the Cat House.
…you have ever been on the IMAO website…
…that crackling sound you hear whenever you sit down at the keyboard… no, wait… that’s just my knees again…
… the sign that reads “The FBI has not been here” placed on your refrigerator door…
…those strange sounds in the dead of night, the clattering of empty beer bottles, accompanied by a high-pitched “We want ALL the commenters”…
The toilet seat is down.
Property of Ray Epps underwear in your hamper.
There was a note on my kitchen table with a link reference to a “How Did We Do?” fbi.gov survey form.
A box of new, unused file folders is missing. The receipt signed by “Desk of P. Bondi” says they will be returned just as unused in about 3 years.
Sure Signs That the FBI Has Been in Your House While You Were Away: …
Some strawberries are missing.
The CNN remote crew is still rolling up their cables in your front yard.
MSNBC was at my house and some chick who looked like Rachael Maddcow jumped out of a van like a pissed off Robert Di Nero and started accusing me of being a Far Right Wing Cat Killer.
You lost me at chick that looked like Roachel Maddcow.
Are you far right wing or the cat?
Elephant footprints in the butter in your fridge.
… flickering lights and sudden glowing cracks in the walls…
…ghost hunters can’t get near your place with their sensitive equipment…
…there’s a work van parked across the street, and it’s just too clean, man!
… Plus name me one work van labelled “Work Van” on the side that stays in the same place for eight weeks.
That candy bar I had safely stashed is gone, and so is my wife’s underwear. The boxes labelled “Classified stuff I’m holding for Biden” are still there.