(Submitted by Veeshir [High Praise!])
I’m still trying to decide if this is very subtle satire, or someone who’s WAYYYYYYYY too passionate about ice cream flavors and easily offended.
Which means I’m torn between saying “Oh! How delightfully clever!”, and accusing the guy of blending puppies (because that’s what happens to bloggers who slight the powers-that-be at IMAO).
What I can tell you is that if Frank hasn’t been to Amy’s Ice Creams in Austin yet and sampled their Mexican Vanilla (or even better, their Triple Mex), he needs to. He might have found it a lot harder to write that piece.
When I want ice cream, there is no other flavor besides vanilla, IMO. Same with cake: white vanilla, thank you. A very wee bit of almond flavor in it is okay. And don’t screw-up the frosting! It must also be vanilla.
Yeah, vanilla. I often spoon it into coffee. Hehe. (Of course, it’s 29% alcohol…)
Well, Frank’s humorous essay stands on its own merits.
Anyone who can reply to this:
with this:
just doesn’t get Frank J.’s brand of humor. And humor is not something that can be argued about.
The author goes on to say that they do understand the point being made when contrasting high achievers vs. vanilla purchasers, but feel that the point is silly and incoherent. Well, coherent enough to be understood. What more can one desire in an essay? Humor and a point, presented with a smooth flow from idea to idea.
Please, let’s not have an essay from the same writer on why the “realistic plan for world peace” is not, in fact, realistic!
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times … ”
“Stop right there! How could it be both?”
That’s easy, Oppo. The best of times is when you add the Irish Whiskey to your coffee. The worst of times is when you thereby run out of Irish Whiskey and want another cup! Extrapolate to vanilla.
There could be another answer… :
Experiment confirms quantum theory weirdness.
“Call me Ishmael”?
Sheesh — they hadn’t even invented phones yet.
Jimmy: I just remembered a gag from an old friend long ago, who actually played in vaudeville shows.
Waitress: “Jewish coffee?”
Man: “Yes, Irish coffee!”
I didn’t say it was a good gag.
Les: Heh. I’ve never heard that one. But I’ll take it along with another cup!
Just imagine the outrage if Frank had drawn a picture of vanilla ice cream for his article.
Fatwa City, man.
He certainly ended up in the Bryer’s patch.
So I forced myself to read that article and could not understand how someone can be that thick to not get Frank’s article. Then I read two things. 1. She said her favorite is FRENCH vanilla and 2. she is half Canadian. So that explains it. I have also think I have found something sadder than being Canadian, being half Canadian. That must suck. If you are full Canadian you can at least fully immerse yourself in that and pretend your life is not bland as the vanilla you crave. When you are half you are relentlessly reminded that you had the potential for awesome but can never achieve it due to diluted maple syrup that runs through your veins.
Gosh, DougM’s expose against Frank is so devastating as to represent an attack against apple pie itself, which, of course, was actually invented by the French.
I suspect his piece wasn’t cleared by SondraK, the blog owner. Either that, or war has been declared against IMAO.
In which case, BATTLE STATIONS!
(I read Sondrakistan but hardly ever comment there.)
I’m guessing the author’s favorite brand of bland vanilla is Turkey Hill.
Lately, I’ve been having a craving for Eskimo Pies (VANILLA ice cream sandwiched between chocolate cookies!).
And, anything written by Frank that appears here, which hardly ever happens. 🙁