Archive of posts tagged News

Cain sounds like one of you people

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Disclosure: I have financially contributed to the Herman Cain campaign.

There’s a minor kerfuffle going on about something that Herman Cain said. It’s widely reported that he said he couldn’t support Rick Perry as the Republican nominee:

[Edited: The previous video no longer allows embedding. So, here is the original excerpt from CNN. The quote begins immediately after the commercial.]


[Direct link]

Yep. That’s what he said. And that bothers me.

You see, I’ve been going on and on about how, no matter who the GOP nominee is, we need to support him. And some of you get your panties all in a wad about that.

“I’m not ever going to support Mitt Romney!”

“I won’t vote for Rick Perry!”

“If Sarah Palin isn’t the nominee, I’m not voting!”

“If Sarah Palin is the nominee, I’m not voting!”

“Ron Paul is nuts!”

Okay, that last one is okay. But still, nuts as he is, he’d a darn sight better than Barack Obama. But some of you are saying you won’t support this guy or that girl. Well, now Herman Cain sounds a lot like some of you people. Maybe he’s pandering to the panties-in-a-wad crowd.

I don’t care for that. I suspect Cain will backtrack, and soon. He’ll come up with some statement that sounds like some crafted statement talking about how we can disagree about important issues, but still have the same overriding goal: defeat Barack Obama and return competence to the White House.

But what should he say? Or, better, what should he have said to Wolf Blitzer’s question, “Could you support Rick Perry if he were the nominee?”

  • Against Obama? Of course. Hell, Wolf, I’d support you over Barack Obama.
  • I fully support Rick Perry for vice-president.
  • I would support Rick Perry if Zombie Reagan turned down the nomination.
  • Nine, nine, nine.
  • Not if he was the Democrat nominee. Has he switched back to being a Democrat?
  • That’s a stupid question, Wolf. What do you think I’m going to say? That I wouldn’t support Rick Perry? Do you think I’m stupid?

What do you think Herman Cain should have said?

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Racist Reality … Fixed!

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Reality is racist. Just so you know.

Recently, the president gave a speech before the Congressional Black Caucus, and, as he is wont to do, he slipped into his “Hey-I’m-Black-Too” dialect. And, the Associated Press reported the actual words he used, as he used them:

Stop complainin’. Stop grumblin’. Stop cryin’.

And, for reporting what happened, the AP was accused of being racist by Karen Hunter on MSNBC:

Hunter called the AP’s version “inherently racist,” sparring with New Republic contributing editor and noted linguistics expert John McWhorter, who argued the g-less version “is actually the correct one,” noting that the president’s victory in the 2008 election was due, in part, to how effortlessly “he can switch into that [black] dialect.”

To follow Hunter’s demands to their conclusion, as Jeff Goldstein put it:

…they are now charged with re-writing history to protect the speaker from himself, lest they be charged with transcribing reality, once considered the most neutral of all activities (at least in intent and aim), an activity that now carries with it the charge of “inherent racism” if the reality being transcribed belongs to blacks, and non-blacks or inauthentic blacks are doing the transcribing.

Presumably, Ms Hunter, if pressed, might have to extend the argument to audio clips that capture the dropping of the g’s — themselves a secondhand recording of reality that have not been “corrected” of their “inherent racism.”

So, now that we know that reality is racist and we must protect ourselves from it, we present the video of the president’s actual words, not as said, but as they must be to remove the charge of racism:


[Direct link]

Liberals have been living outside reality for a long, long time. Now, they want us to live outside it, too.

One more last word…

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Don’t you hate it when all is said and done, someone says something or does something anyway?

The Troy Davis case is like that. And it’s my turn. Again.

But, honestly, I think Frank has had his fill of this case, unless I read his Twitter posts incorrectly.

And maybe you have too. But, if not, I did post at my little blog.

I think Frank wants more teh funneh here. Let me see if I have anything from 1960s television to entertain you. More about that in a day or two.

Oh noes! Not Palin!

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Now watch the left get their panties in a wad. Because Sarah Palin polls at 44% in a matchup with Barack Obama. That’s according to a new McClatchy-Marist poll.

What does the new poll mean?

Depends on who you ask.

If you ask me — you did ask me, didn’t you? — it means that almost as many people hate Barack Obama as hate Sarah Palin. Now, I can’t tell you why they hate Sarah Palin. They can’t either. Ask them, and they go, “Palin!!! Arrggghhh!! She’s … (spit) … (slobber) … (mumble) … and Dan Quayle in a skirt!” Or something like that.

They’ve been programmed to hate her. So they do.

What else it means is that the programming isn’t taking. Remember all that “Bush is evil” programming that people were spewing a while back. It’s calmed down among most. Oh, sure, some still blame Bush for the economy, 9/11, and Pearl Harbor. Because stupid people have a way of living way too long and not shutting the hell up. But the “Gosh, I sure miss George Bush” sentiment is growing.

Palin is no Bush, but …

Palin is no George W. Bush, but the “Hate Palin” programming is starting to wear off. Like in Dollhouse, where Echo didn’t respond to imprints and wipes like they expected. Voters are turning Echo.

The poll also means that the left-wing media is about to go all out assailing Sarah Palin as … well, whatever it is they’ve been told to say about her now.

And here’s what it all means: while they’re attacking Palin, they aren’t quite as focused on Perry or Romney or Bachmann or Cain or whoever else is supposed to be in the crosshairs.

And that’s a good thing.

Once again, we must say it. Come on. Say it with me. “Thank you, Sarah Palin.”

Justice

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(If you’re looking for teh funneh, Frank will be around later.)

Mark MacPhail,
murder victim

There’s an execution scheduled in Georgia tonight. Georgia’s certainly no Texas when it comes to meting out final justice, in speed or in volume. Georgia will keep the undertaker from going out of business, though.

Tonight (as of this writing) one more deserving character walks the last mile at the Georgia Diagnostic and Classification Center. His name is Troy Davis, and he’s to die for the murder of a Savannah policeman.

I remember the case, because, in 1989, I was living near Savannah. I grew up in southeast Georgia, and Savannah is where we got most of the news. The Savannah Morning News was the daily paper. When we watched local TV, the closest was Savannah television. And, when we listened to the radio, outside of the local stations (in the same county), almost every other station was a Savannah station.

So, when Troy Davis shot and killed Mark MacPhail, I heard about it. And, when he was tried and convicted in the summer of 1991, I heard about it.

Seems simple, doesn’t it. Young man, high school dropout (did get his GED, though), poor job attendance record, with a criminal record shoots and kills an off-duty policeman who was working security at a fast-food restaurant.

Here’s where it gets … interesting. Davis is black. MacPhail was white.

So, now you have the NAACP, Al Sharpton, and others protesting the upcoming execution. You have PBS talking about the case in a discussion on how race plays a role in death penalty cases. You have the Christian Science Monitor talking about “the impact of race on a jury in the Deep South.”

None of these geniuses bother to consider that, of the 12 members of the jury that convicted Davis, 7 were black. That’s right, a jury that’s 58% black from a city that’s 57% black convicted a black man. And the usual suspects are screaming race discrimination.

Why? Because MacPhail was white. Had be been black, like the other man Davis shot that night (but who survived) you wouldn’t hear about any of this.

So, yes, it’s racial. Only not like they’re making it out to be.

Assuming all goes well, and the state carries out the execution tonight, should we be happy?

Yes.

But not to celebrate a man’s death, though Davis certainly deserves to die. No, we should celebrate that, despite people using race as a battering ram, justice was done. It will have taken entirely too long, but that’s because certain people like to promote their cause, even when it’s without cause.

Messin’ wit’ french fried potaters

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Mmmmgh. I wuz readin’ th’ newspaper th’ oth’r day. Well, I wuz sorta readin’ it. I know some o’ th’ words. Some o’ them words I didn’t know.


Anyways, it wuz sayin’ that that Obamer lady has gone an’ made some rest’rants stop sellin’ french fried potaters. She ought not t’ do that.


I likes french fried potaters. ‘Course it’s only rest’rants like yer Olive Garden and yer Red Lobster that’s stoppin’ th’ french fried potaters. That’s what th’ Atlanta paper says, anyway.


It sez that th’ kids can get french fried potaters if their momma or their daddy sez they can. I thought it wuz a joke when I heard about it. But it’s not like any other joke I heard. Like the one about them two fellers standin’ on th’ bridge, goin’ to th’ bathroom. Mmmgh. That’n I got. Didn’t get the joke about the food, though. So I’m thinkin’ it’s not a joke.


Besides, folks treat me like a kid sometimes, an’ I’m thinkin’ that th’ waitress ladies won’t let me get ’em without my momma or my daddy sayin’ it’s okay. My momma’s dead. I kilt her. My daddy’s still livin’ but I don’t cotton to him to much. So I’m on my own ever since I got out th’ nervous hospital.


Anyways, if’n the Olive Lobster stores don’t let me get french fried potaters, I’m like to get right upset about it. I don’t think they’d care much for me if’n that happened.

You don’t deserve your money!

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Rep. Jan Schakowsky, D IL-9

I know. Some of you get up in the morning, dress, grab a quick bite or maybe a cup of coffee, and head to work.

Or, perhaps, you work odd hours. Sometimes long days.

Maybe you work a second job to help make ends meet.

I’ve done all of those things. Perhaps you have too, or still are.

But, whatever the circumstances, you work to earn your pay.

Only, you don’t deserve it. Really. Check with Jan Schakowsky, the Democrat who represents Illinois’ 9th district, who was speaking on WLS Radio:

I’ll put it this way. You don’t deserve to keep all of it and it’s not a question of deserving because what government is, is those things that we decide to do together.

Now, don’t you feel ashamed of yourself? Thinking that the money you earned is yours. Or that you deserve it.

Thank goodness we have Democrats to set us straight.

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Trade ya

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According to AFP (Agence France-Presse, which is French or something for The Daily Planet, I think), Obama’s approval rating is at 75%.

In Europe.

… he remains highly popular in Europe, with 75 percent in 12 EU nations approving his handling of global affairs, a poll said Wednesday.

He is also much better liked than his predecessor George W. Bush, whose rating in Europe was just 20 percent in 2008, said the Transatlantic Trends poll by the German Marshall Fund.

Here’s what I think: if Europe like Barack Obama so much, they can have him.

But, we really should get something for him. I mean, he did kind of screw things up really bad here, so anything we can get would help offset the damage.

In baseball or pro football, trades happen all the time. In baseball, you hear about one player traded for another, or for a couple of minor leaguers. In pro football, some running back for a couple of draft choices happen from time to time. So why not in the oldest sport and second-oldest profession, politics?

Let’s trade Obama to Europe. But who should we get in return?

I’m thinking Nicolas Sarkozy would be an improvement. With that trade, we’d get a hot First Lady, too!

Heck, the desiccated corpse of Charles de Gaulle would be an improvement over Obama.

How about the Queen of England? Sure, all she does is ride around waving funny at people, but right now, that sounds pretty good.

Or the Pope. He doesn’t hate the Jews nearly as much as Obama does.

Maybe we could get Roman Polanski. Of course, he’d go straight to jail, but then we’d have a child rapist in jail and Obama in Europe. Win-win.

Or, perhaps instead of somebody from Europe, we could get a landmark or something. Like Stonehenge. Or the Rock of Gibraltar. Or Notre Dame de Paris. Or a pair of wooden shoes from the Netherlands. Any of these things would be an improvement over Obama.

So, what do you think? What would you like to get from Europe in exchange for Obama?

Fewer jobs for child molesters

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With all the talk (and it’s mostly talk) about Obama’s Job Bill, it seems we’re forgetting about the current jobs program that’s underway: the TSA.

While the Transportation Security Administration was created under a law signed by President George W. Bush, it has really taken off with Obama’s flunkies in charge.

I won’t go into great detail why the TSA was a bad idea to begin — does anyone really think anyone could have hijacked a planeload of Americans after 9/11? — I will say that if it’s possible to make a bad idea worse, a Democrat can do it. And a liberal Democrat can up the ante. And when you get moonbat crazy Democrats like Obama, Holder, and Napolitano overseeing things, you’re going to find out what government overreach really is.

And they’re reaching for your crotch. And boobies. And your kids.

Well, now, the TSA has decided it won’t fondle your children. Not as much, anyway:

Children 12 years old and younger soon will no longer be required to remove their shoes at airport security checkpoints, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano told Congress on Tuesday. The policy also includes other ways to screen young children without resorting to a pat-down that involves touching private areas on the body.

Those heading into puberty are still up for groping.

What this means is the TSA won’t be the prefect job for child molesters.

We’re going to have to wait until they pass the Obama Jobs Bill to see what new opportunity child molesters will have.

iQuit

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The world ended last night.

That’s right. Steve Jobs resigned as CEO of Apple.

It’s not like Barack Obama resigned or anything. If that happened, Joe Biden would take over. That is, one incompetent would be replaced by another incompetent. So barely a blip would occur if Obama was gone.

But Steve Jobs? You know what this means, don’t you? Your iPods will all quit working now. Go try yours. I’ll wait.

See? A little sluggish, wasn’t it. And, when you put the songs on shuffle, that one song you really don’t like played, didn’t it? Know why? Because Steve Jobs quit.

And, if you bought in to the hype and switched from Windows to a Mac, you’re doomed. DOOMED!!

The next version of OS X won’t be like the the last few. Cheetah, Puma, Jaguar, Panther, Tiger, Leopard, Snow Leopard, and Lion? No more. The next one will be OS X LOLCAT. And, after that, OS X Snagglepuss.

That Apple TV you bought? Instead of streaming TV shows and movies from several studios, you’ll only get Current TV. Steve Jobs was the only thing standing between you and Apple board member Al Gore. Now, you’re screwed.

Your iPhone? It won’t make calls. It’ll be like you’re on AT&T or something.

And your iPad? Angry Birds doesn’t work any more.

Steve Jobs is no longer running Apple. He’s been replaced by a guy who went to Auburn. Auburn!

In no time, Apple will be only the second-most valuable company in the world.

Yes, your life has ended. I’m sure George Bush is to blame. Or global warming.

Earthquake!

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There was a bunch of fear yesterday when the earthquake hit northern Virginia near Washington, D.C.

In fact, when Wall Street heard about the earthquake, the Dow rose over 300 points. Which says a lot about the economy. When there’s a chance that something will stop Obama and the Democrats, the market goes up.

There were reports that the Washington Monument was tilting, but that was not true. Washington politicians, though, were found to be crooked, but it’s too early to tell if the earthquake is to blame.

But the earthquake did do some isolated but terrible damage: it interrupted Obama on the golf course and made him miss a putt. Really.

So, despite early fears, the earthquake did little overall damage. Unlike Barack Obama and a Democrat-controlled Congress. Their damage is still being assessed.

Anyway, you don’t normally hear about earthquakes in that region as happened yesterday. Most earthquakes are in Japan, California, or other places foreign to America. Why on earth (or under earth) did one occur where it did?

I dunno.

Some people — mostly scientists — will tell you that earthquakes are caused by the plates of the earth moving in different directions or at different speeds, building pressure, and suddenly releasing, but I think they’re making it up as they go along. We need to find out what causes earthquakes, then stop them. Or use them to our advantage, like Gene Hackman tried to do in that Superman movie (the first one).

So, what causes earthquakes? Or, failing that, what caused yesterday’s earthquake?

Here are the leading candidates:

  • Global warming causes them.
  • Global cooling.
  • Witches.
  • Maybe it’s the Tea Party. They caused everything else that’s wrong, so perhaps it’s them that caused all the devastation yesterday.
  • George Bush.
  • More witches.
  • The Titans bowling. Or maybe that’s thunder.
  • The Titans dropping their bowling ball.

Maybe it is the whole tectonic plates thing. Or maybe Teutonic plates. Probably so. I never did trust the Germans.

Testing Shakespeare

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Forget the economy. Forget the, what is it now, 4 wars? Or 5 wars? Forget about the high level of unemployment. Forget the high level of taxes.

Some people want to know about the things that are really important. Like if William Shakespeare was a stoner.

There have been articles at Time, Fox News, and other places, about this. And they want to dig up the Bard of Avon to find out.

But really, all you have to do is look at his body of work, compared to the work others, and determine if this is a fool’s errand.

Compare this passage:

To be, or not to be, that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles And by opposing end them. To die—to sleep, No more.

To this passage:

Dave’s not here.

Okay, let’s compare Shakespeare’s work to something more recent than Cheech and Chong. Like this:

We are such stuff As dreams are made on; and our little life Is rounded with a sleep.

To this

Hope and Change!

Which of these were more likely to have been written … or repeated … by a stoner?

There’s more.

Which is more likely to have been written by a stoner? This:

Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal’d by the same means, warm’d and cool’d by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, do we not revenge?

Or this:

The borders of Israel and Palestine should be based on the 1967 lines

I don’t think it’s Shakespeare they need to be testing.