In My World: Blocking the Senate Doors
Harry Reid sat in his office and smiled. “Having gotten rid of the only black senator by electing him president, the Senate will be racially pure once again.”
Reid’s aide rushed into the office. “Blagojevich has appointed Roland Burris — a black man — to Obama’s seat!”
Reid shot to his feet. “What! But I thought we successfully destroyed him when we framed him for corruption once we were first found out he was thinking of appointing a black man! The racial purity of the Senate must be protected!”
Al Franken shoved the aide out of the way. “You said when I take my seat, you’d have all the black people gone! I’ll hurt you! Grwaerree!” He came at Reid flailing his arms.
Reid shielded himself. “Calm down, Al Franken! Don’t hurt me! By the time you take your seat, we’ll have this taken care of!”
Franken calmed down a bit. “You better, or me hurt you!” He spotted a piece of paper on the ground. “That’s a vote for me!”
Reid looked at it. “That’s a receipt from Taco Bell.”
“It’s a vote for me! Me hurt you you say otherwise! Grwaerree!” He charged at Reid, flailing his arms again.
“Calm down, Franken! You’re deranged!”
“Don’t call me deranged or I’ll bite you in the eyeball! Grwaerree!”
* * * *
“I don’t know if we should antagonize the white man like this,” Bobby Rush said to Roland Burris. “It will only make things worse.”
“We have to stand up,” Burris said. “Maybe now that a black man is about to be president, we can finally have a black person in the Senate… like there was a couple days ago. That’s a dream of mine I cannot let go.”
“I dunno. The white people are going to hurt us!”
Burris walked towards the Capitol, but blocking the entrance was Harry Reid. “What are you doing here, African American?”
Burris walked right up to him. “Hey! That’s a term we use to call each other; you can’t call us that!”
“Why? What are you going to do, African American,” Reid sneered. “I’ve worked tirelessly to make the Senate racially pure. Tossing out Barack Obama to the presidency to further that goal wasn’t easy, but now I’m not going to let some uppity African American ruin that!”
“I’ve always been humble,” Burris said, “it even says so on my monument I made — but people must stand up to bigotry.”
“And do what?”
Burris looked at the Senate thugs Reid had brought with him. “I guess you win for now, but don’t think this is over. The fight for racial equality will continue!” Burris marched away.
“Not while I’m alive!” Reid pumped his fist in the air and chanted with the crowd. “Democrat power! Democrat power!”
(24 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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January 7th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
This is too realistic to laugh at. Especially the Franken bit.
January 7th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Watching the alfrankenfreak and hairlessreid on pay-per-view flailign each other — priceless
January 7th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Frank and Harvey are the best caricature satirists on the web. I’m glad I had put my coffee down first before reading this.
January 7th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
I’m going to have to side with Marko on this. That wasn’t satire, it was honest reporting.
January 7th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
That was freaking brilliant. I mean, your IMWs are good, but this one is really… well, sharp.
January 7th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Reid described Burris as a “Clean, Articulate Black Man”. That echos of Biden describing Clean, Articulate BO. The democrat party is in sole possession of two clean articulate negroes. I am left to wonder what the remainder of negroes are who are members of the democrat party? I need clarification. If BO and Burris are a cut above the rest what would Reid or Biden have us believe the rest are? Mo Fo’s? This is democrat verbage not mine.
January 7th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
“That’s a vote for me!”
Brilliant! Sadly close to the truth, but brilliant!
January 8th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Next time Bobby Rush complains that there are no black senators and that this is somehow racist, I wish a reporter would ask, “Should we stop electing them president then so we can keep more of them in the Senate?”
Frankly, given the Carol Mosely Braun, Obama, Rush, Burris, and Burris’ lawyers, frankly, I’d be very, VERY embarassed were I a black Chicagoan with an IQ above 120 for this to be how the world sees you. If OJ had went into Chicago politics instead of acting after sports, he’d have fit right in.
January 8th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
One things for sure: Alfranken will make CSPAN interesting.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
Only FrankJ has the courage to mock African-American conspiracy theories.
January 10th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
I’m laughing so hard I just wet myself a little.
January 10th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Welcome to IMAO!