Mythbusters: Republicans

Posted on September 16, 2010 10:53 pm


Tonight … on “Mythbusters” … we’ll look at myths about today’s Republican Party.

Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman will look at what’s right … and what’s not right … about the party of the right.


With recent election results … and even more recent primary results … there has been a lot of discussion about what actions the Republicans should take.


The conventional wisdom …


Is that the Republican National Convention?


Ha ha. Very funny. The conventional wisdom is that if the Republican Party swings hard to the right, they’ll alienate most Americans and ensure that Democrats will retain power.


We’re going to build a Republican Party that’s a Big Tent Republican Party. Then we’ll test how well it works.


We’ll start with the base. There’s the gun owners. You know, the Second Amendment crowd.


Over here, we have some who are proud of their country. Typical conservatives.


Okay, that’s a start. This sounds a lot like the TEA Party or the Sarah Palin crowd. But aren’t we going to include more than just stereotypical conservatives?


How about some independents, like those that helped elect Obama? You can’t win without them.


Let’s throw in some Charles Johnson types. That’ll keep the religious right in check.


We can’t leave out the Ron Paul group. Ron Paul! Ron Paul!!! Ron Paul!!1!!!11!!


There are the old guard. The establishment. They used to be called “Rockefeller Republicans.” And they crap themselves every time a candidate supported by the TEA Party is successful.


Those scared of Sarah Palin? Got them covered, too. Can’t let her take charge of things, can we?


What about those moderates that try to balance conservative principals with cooperating with liberals? Everyone knows that compromise is the way to go. As long as by “compromise with” we mean “give in to” liberals.


What do you think? Do we have enough of a big tent crowd? We have those scared of Palin and the TEA Party, moderates, Ron Paul supporters, Obama voters, the Charles Johnson crowd…


Let’s try this group out and see how it does. Tory? Go run an election with this crowd?


OOF!


OUCH!


Tory’s election day performance with a Republican Party that compromised true conservative beliefs and included nutcases from all over the spectrum … didn’t go so well.


Well, there’s your problem!


This Republican Party we put together doesn’t stand true to conservative principals. Instead, it’s a large group of a bunch of small groups.


Since they don’t share the same principals, they are always fighting each other.


This Republican Party looks like Democrats Lite. That’s why the GOP lost the White House in 2008. Sure, the Republican candidate had some good qualities, is a war hero, and is an honorable man and a fine American. But he isn’t true to the conservative principals of Goldwater or Reagan. And he got his clock cleaned.


Jamie and I have been exposed to this Big Tent Republican Party for too long. We need to scrub ourselves clean.


While Adam and Jamie remove the stench of moderates, we’ll leave you with this reminder: conservatives will be attacked by Democrats, and by some Republicans. And, you won’t win every battle. But, you’ll come out stronger for it.

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12 Responses to “Mythbusters: Republicans”

  1. Hwuu says:

    very cool Basil nice job

  2. Son of Bob says:

    Basil, I’m confused. Are you suggesting that in a country in which 60 percent polled said they consider themselves conservatives, while only 20-something percent identified themselves as liberals, the Republican party should run on a platform of conservative principles?

    [I know. Sheer madness, right? - B.]

  3. 4of7 says:

    IMAO, Mythbusters and Basil’s Photo-funnies – 3 of my favorite things, all combined in what may be the Perfect Post! (chokes up, wipes away a tear)
    Sa-Lute!

  4. The Animal says:

    A long story, but the ending was exactly, precisely correct.

    Well done.

  5. bunkerboy says:

    Here in NYC I voted for Tea Partier Carl Paladino just for a goof – and the crazy SOB won! He’s got an e-mail trail with porn and n-words; he claimed the Buffalo schools superintendent only got the job ’cause he’s black; he once said “I don’t care if they’re a Dago or a Polack – I go after all of ‘em!”

    This guy will go hammer and tong on Andrew Cuomo – hopefully pointing out his very large role in the sub-prime mortgage meltdown while Secretary of HUD. I can hear him now, going all Carlo from the “Godfather”: (Takes off his belt) “Now clean it up! Clean it up, you spoiled guinea brat! See, I can say that, ’cause I’m a guinea myself…”

    The guy doesn’t have a Jew’s prayer in Gaza, but I’m gonna love every minute of it!

  6. Terry_Jim says:

    Good points, Basil.
    Conservative principles are winning principles, especially this year.
    How is it EXTREEEEEEEEME to want to keep what you earn and be left alone?

    ~~~
    I haven’t seen too many episodes of Mythbusters,
    do they all end with Jamie and Adam in the shower?

    Must be on Bravo channel.

  7. Javelina Bomb says:

    Very nice.

  8. DamnCat says:

    Charles Johnson types….good one!

  9. Burmashave says:

    Bully! I think that’s your best yet, Basil. (Did I say that last time?)

  10. Tommy the Towelhead says:

    Can’t we just stuff Nancy Pelosi with Diet Coke and Mentos and see what happens?

  11. Kris says:

    Sweeeeeeeet, Basil!

  12. Scott says:

    It must be so much fun to work for MythBusters that if I was a young kid again, I would work for them for free.

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