I’m Not Taking Voting Advice From a Moron With a Tramp Stamp on Her Shoulder

Posted on October 28, 2012 12:00 pm

[High Praise! to Candy]

[YouTube direct link]

(Adding to what Frank said earlier)

Judging by the extensive shoulder artwork, regrettable life decisions are her forte.

Sorry, but tattoos are for bikers and sailors.

When treated as a fashion accessory, they just look dumb.

Oh, and I bet she believed her girlfriends who told her she looks “cute” with short hair, too.

NOTE: Full disclosure – although I was a sailor for 6 years, I never got a tattoo. Even between the tender and stupid ages of 19 and 25, I was smart enough to realize that NOTHING that I thought was cool at that age would still seem cool to me when I was 50.

I really liked the cover of Blue Oyster Cult’s “Some Enchanted Evening“, but I got that custom-printed on a T-shirt while on liberty in the Philippines, instead.

Yes, I still have it. No, I don’t wear it in public anymore.

Thus proving my point.

When Lena starts getting gray hair, I guarantee she’ll never wear anything but long-sleeve shirts.

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42 Responses to “I’m Not Taking Voting Advice From a Moron With a Tramp Stamp on Her Shoulder”

  1. Calvin A says:

    I got a tattoo when we were in Hong Kong on the way to the Persian Gulf about twenty years ago. I’m now pushing 50 and still like it. I also didn’t get the artwork from my favorite heavy metal band as a tattoo, instead I got some nice Northwest Coast Indian work. That’s the biggest problem that I see with guys is getting cartoonish crap that will be embarrassing, versus something artistic. Girls, I’m not as big a fan at all.

  2. Silverfiddle says:

    It is a scary commentary on our society that she is a cultural icon among the 20-somethings…

    OK, I’m officially a curmudgeon now… *sigh*

  3. DamnCat says:

    “Sorry, but tattoos are for bikers, and sailors, and skanks.”

    fixed it

  4. Jimmy says:

    Harvey, I found this parody linked over at Sondrakistan:

    “the vagina monologues”


    Better than Crowder!

  5. CarolyntheMommy says:

    Sorry Harvey – Candy = CtM

    My bad.

  6. jw says:

    when lena gets gray hair and doesn’t want the tattoo any more she will demand that it be removed at no cost, with no pain and will sue if the results are less than perfect right down to no change in dermal pigmentation.

    of this you can be certain

  7. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    Is this “girl” supposed to be “famous”….or something? Her name is at the top as if what she has to say has some importance because she’s actually …done something. I’d google “her” but then I’d have to look at “her” again. The sad part (and proof to the liberals that the dumbing down is almost complete) is there are tons of really hot babes out there who are literally covered in tattoos. Were these people raised in a vacuum or something??? Did annnnnybody ever explain the obvious to them? When I was a kid and mom said” if everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you?” I figured out what she meant without jumping off a bridge.

  8. Carpenter says:

    I have multiple gay ex-boyfriends,” says Lena Dunham.

    OK does that mean Voting for Obama is like having Sex with a Gay dude?

  9. Les says:

    “But Maw, everybody else is drinking the Kool-Aid!”

  10. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    A girl having a “gay ex-boyfriend” is as oxymoronic as “gay marriage” especially when they insist that people are born…that way. These people are walking contradictions. Maybe after getting a good look at “her” the next day, they figured, wtf, if I’d do that, I might as well be gay.

  11. Jeff says:

    Thank you…been in the Army almost 30 years and I’ve never gotten a Tat…when I was a kid in the deep South…my parents taught me that tatoos were worn by white trash and drunken sailors….guess this lesson stuck

  12. CaptMidnight says:

    “NOTE: Full disclosure – although I was a sailor for 6 years, I never got a tattoo. Even between the tender and stupid ages of 19 and 25, I was smart enough to realize that NOTHING that I thought was cool at that age would still seem cool to me when I was 50.”

    Funny, I was in the Navy for 6 years between the ages of 19 and 25. I never got a tattoo, either.

  13. Jimmy says:

    Lot’s of sailors here who, apparently, weren’t drunk or stupid enough to get a tat. I didn’t get one either – although look how stupid I am growing potatoes all the time!

    As a sub sailor, there wasn’t much chance to get drunk and also you weren’t supposed to be there if you were stupid. Interesting, however, quite a few of my shipmates did get them, but in every case, they were drunk in a foreign port at the time, and, of course, acting stupidly!

  14. Harvey says:

    @13 – Sailors drunk in a foreign port? Weird. Doesn’t sound like the Navy *I* knew :-)

  15. Jimmy says:

    A follow-up:

    Not to say I haven’t been known to get drunk and act stupidly. Well, maybe not stupidly, of course, just silly and really goofy.

  16. Jimmy says:

    It was “before your time,” Harvey. Diesel boats… Westpacs… Etc. :-)

  17. Harvey says:

    @16 – was this the Navy that allowed goatees? That WAS before my time.

    I was on the fabled “nuclear wessel” from 87 to 91. It’s a shame the new kids will never know the pleasures of Olongapo.

  18. Jimmy says:

    Even back then, Harvey there was this huge rift between Rickover’s nuclear navy and the traditional-but-aging diesel boat fleet. I was lucky enough to serve in the later before they – and their wonderful crews – went away. We got to see most of the far east ports.

    Of course, we did the usual “we neither confirm nor deny…” stuff.

  19. Jimmy says:

    Oh, and yes, goatees were allowed, as were full beards. I had both at one time or another.

  20. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    Been waiting to see if anyone else picked up on a particular detail in the vid…the *girl* gives her name as Lena Dunham, right?

    What was the maiden name of Obama’s mother? Dunham! Ann Dunham.

    Is this gal some distant cousin being flatulated before a webcam and fobbed off as a “reg’lar folks” type prole who’s still hyped up on Hopium?

    Would anyone put it past the OFAers to try something like that?

  21. Writer says:

    I was a sailor from ’72 to ’82.
    During my first hitch a bosun taught me that nothing was dumber than a tattoo. He took the group of us aside and explained about the fading and blurring, and explained what it cost to have one removed. Then he removed his shirt and showed us what he meant. I don’t think any of us at his lecture got one after that.

  22. Harvey says:

    @21 – OO! Sounds like it left more psychic scars than the “STD awareness” slideshow I had to watch in Bootcamp.

    I’ll never forget the one the Chief described as “blueberries”…

  23. John says:

    I hated the STD awarness classes too, but the Marine Corps still made us attend them every year. A corpseman (The “p” is silent, Mr. President) showed us one he described as “cauliflower”. I’m still disturbed by it.

  24. seanmahair says:

    The sweet spouse was in the Navy from 77-84 and we spent three glorious years in the Philippines. He hopped around from ship to ship in the South China Sea, the Indian Ocean and the Pacific. He didn’t get a tattoo either and was the designated driver on all port of calls. It pains him to see what the present liar in chief is doing to the military but we both feel great respect and admiration for our fellow veterans and our active duty personnel. Thanks to all of you guys/girls for your service to our country then and now as free thinking, stand up patriots.

  25. 4of7 says:

    I got my first after 9/11, the second a year after that, and the third a year after that.
    Then the wife said I had enough.
    Although I was once a sailor, I didn’t get any while I was in the service.
    It took me 40+ years to decide on 3 designs I knew I could live with for the rest of my life.

  26. Son of Bob says:

    When I was a kid, there were lots of fads. I passed on the polyester shirts and platform shoes, didn’t do the mutton chop sideburns either. Had white friends with afros, and everybody had long hair. And, now we can look back on those photos and laugh how times have changed and how we’ve since cut our hair, shaved, changed shoes, and given most of our clothing to the Salvation Army. However, the full-sleeve tattoos or face tats won’t magically go away in 20 years when they’re no longer so fashionable, nor will the gauged ear-lobes stretched to National Geographic dimensions return to normal. This is, for the most part, a really stupid generation.

  27. Teddy Ballgame says:

    – The GOP response ad to Obama “My First Time” ad …

    – The star of the ad is an obviously once attractive but now weathered young woman in her mid twenties who is now morbidly obese, with more lines under her eyes than Buster Keaton had at 70, with bad teeth and a bad haircut and dye job and clothes obviously purchased from a charity shop or a Wal-mart rejects sale. She has this to say …

    – When I was in my late teens I was the high school prom queen and persued by half the boys in school.

    – My parents told me that my first time should be with somebody whom I knew a lot about, who was a religious, clean living, sober, ambitious, hard working, family oriented guy of good character and from a good family and who was a serious and sincere guy, reliable and trustworthy and community oriented, somebody in whom I could believe and on whom I could count on no matter what.

    – But that sounded way too dull for me!

    – So I opted instead for an exciting, big talking guy that I knew hardly anything about from a family I knew nothing about who had a great big smile and a real gift of the gab and who made me a lot of really great promises about how wonderful things would be in the future and how fantastic our life would be together and how he would never, ever let me down. This guy had never actually stayed in one place long enough to accomplish anything really memorable but he had that knack of being able to sell pulled pork sandwiches to imams at Mecca and so he talked me into the back seat of his car and out of my panties in no time at all.

    – Naturally I got pregnant almost immediately and he lit out for someplace and someone else just as his father and later on his mother before him had done and so my education was over and so was my chance at a career and a better life and a family by choice instead of by unwanted misfortune.

    – Now I’m on welfare and food stamps and manage to get through my mind numbingly boring days by begging on streetcorners, smoking and selling a little weed and turning the occasional trick but I find that when you are just 21 and look at least ten years older the tricks are harder to come by and a lot less luncrative than they used to be.

    – So here I am alone with a whining little brat, dead broke, owing the Chinese grocery store down the street a huge bill, unable to find any meaningful and decent paying work, unable to fix up my dliapidated flat that is falling to pieces around me and with absolutely no hope that anything is going to change for the better now or ever.

    – And I recommend that you pick the same sort of guy that I did for your first time.

    – You’ll certainly get totally screwed or at least screwed over and besides, why should I be the only one who has to suffer for being a moron going for the sizzle instead of the steak and believing in fantasies instead of checking backgrounds?

    – But I must also tell you that for your second time, use your head for more than just an orifice to pleasure your boyfriend and check out the background and qualifications of the guy who wants to hook up with you whether it be in the in the biblical or the political sense.

  28. Peter says:

    The only time I ever got drunk and stupid enough for a tattoo was in a foreign port where the tattoo shops were off limits for some reason they never told me. I was next in the chair when the Shore Patrol showed up a small distance away. We grabbed the guy too drunk to run, fled out the back door and ran for the Troopship we were riding. We dropped the drunk into a binjo ditch and had to dunk him in the bay before the Officer of the Deck would let us bring him up the ladder. If I recall that one cost only one stripe. I made Sergeant three times, Corporal five and got out as a Lance CPL.

    Still no tats.

  29. Harvey says:

    @25 – so what are the designs?

  30. CarolyntheMommy says:

    Holy toledo. Teddy Ballgame for bacon and the .406 club. Fenway Franks for you, sir!

  31. CarolyntheMommy says:

    I’m getting a tattoo of Jimmy.

  32. Jimmy says:


  33. Mxymaster says:

    You underestimate the liberal’s capacity for self-delusion, her invincible ignorance, and her rock-hard yet 100% unjustified self-esteem. She’ll wear cutoff shirts all the way to the grave rather than face the fact that her tattoo was a stupid idea.

  34. Dohtimes says:

    Things are now so bad in our popular culture that Chris Matthews getting The Thrill Is Gone tatted on his inner thigh is the sexiest thing many straight guys can expect to see any time soon. Even or especially compared to Ms Dunham.

  35. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    You ever wonder if Lena Dunham got her tat after a Crossing The Line Ceremony?

    Maybe had a beard at one point?

    Rumor has it, TLC is pitching a series to her called Obama’s White Cousins featuring the porn-art painted by Mayflower-descendant Dunham’s father.

    [There. That should be a mite less thread-disruptive.]

  36. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    You ever wonder if Lena Dunham got her tat after a Crossing The Line Ceremony?

    Maybe had a beard at one point?

    Rumor has it, TLC is pitching a series to her called Obama’s White Cousins featuring the pron-art painted by Mayflower-descendant Dunham’s father.

    [There. That should be a mite less thread-disruptive.]

  37. love ink says:

    Have a few “tats ” and don’t regret any of them… love the ones on my wife as well… would be willing to kick the sh**t out of anyone who calls her a skank as well. Also vote Republican… maybe should try not to alienate people on your own political side with stupid comments?

  38. Bunkerhillbilly says:


    Good for you…standing up for your Missus! Be proud of your bodmods, Buddy!

    But, if, a few years down the road, you’re at a convention of insurance adjusters with which you happen to be affiliated, and you and your wife are the only ones wearing long-sleeved shirts while hanging ’round the pool sipping your Harvey Wallbangers while everyone else is in their swim attire…all because the two of you are all geed up about looking more like Kat Von D and GG Allyn…and damn it the collar of your tux shirt just doesn’t cover that neck tat of the Aerosmith (or Fuzztones) logo and you can’t make that champagne and cognac formal to-do up at the University Club…well, hey, no regrets, right? Joe Perry or Rudi Protrudi will still think you and the missus are still cool!

    And that’s what should count, huh?

  39. Harvey says:

    Love Ink – If you still dig your tats, that’s fine. I assume that means you thought long and hard about design & positioning.

    As I said in the post, I’m opposed to tattoos as “fashion accessory”. I’ve known far too many young people who get inked with less thought than they put into selecting their underwear in the morning.

  40. 4of7 says:

    #29 – Harvey,
    Well, since you asked…

    Tat #1 – upper right arm – starts with a quote in scroll work, “Beware the fury of a patient man. John Dryden 1680”, under that is Uncle Sam in front of an American flag, His coat is off and his sleeves rolled up, fists clenched, a snarl on his face and a tear in his eye and on his right forearm the words “Let’s roll” (yes, my tattoo has a tattoo), under that in big red capital letters are the words “YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!”. red, white & blue.
    Interestingly, the only part of the tat that shows when I wear a tee-shirt are the words “you’ve been warned!”

    Tat #2 – upper left arm – 2 part motto with bible verses in scrolls, “Walk like a Giant, (Num 13:33), Stand like a man. (Eph 6:13)”, in between is a picture of a Crusader in full armor with sword and shield, standing in the middle of a road, in the background is a small village, the warrior standing to protect those behind him. blue, gold, red, green, brown.

    Tat #3 – Lower right arm – stylized geometric design, representing a crown of thorns/crown of glory, with gold rays radiating from it, at the center of the design is a triple spiral, representing the Holy Trilogy, at the top of the design are the words “Jesus Christ is Lord!”, beneath in a scroll “Philippians 2:5-11”, and below that in parentheses “(Look it up!)” turquoise blue and gold.
    (The spiral in the center is not a tattoo, it’s a scar formed by patiently burning the design into my skin with a magnifying glass over several months, because a profession of faith like that needed something even more permanent than a tattoo.)

    Where tat #4 would have gone, lower left arm, is just a ring surrounded by 20 stars, with 7 extra stars in 2 rows (5 and 2) also applied with a magnifying glass.
    I did the ring and first 20 stars to commemorate our 20th wedding anniversary, and I’ve added 1 more star every year on our anniversary (May 31st).
    I tell people it’s “my calendar”.
    Or that it’s where the shark bit me, or the pitbull, or the monkey, or the rabid hippie, whatever.

    Yeah, but those earrings and body piercing are just weird!

  41. Harvey says:

    @40 – See, now THAT’S the kinda stuff that’s worth tattooing. Deep statements of honestly-held principle.

    The only thing I’d ever considered as a tattoo was the American flag. Figured my love for America as history’s most brilliant political concept would never waver.

    And I can honestly say that if I’d gotten that flag tattoo in my 20’s, I would still not regret it today in my 40’s.

    One of the best bosses I ever had had his kids’ names tattooed on his arms. Said he figured he may not always have his wife (and he didn’t) but he’d ALWAYS have his kids.

    Now look at Lena’s tattoo.

    What deep principle does that represent?

    *spits derisively*

  42. 4of7 says:

    I’ll join you! *spits*

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