Straight Line of the Day: How Does Vladimir Putin Stay in Such Great Shape?

Posted on January 23, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

How does Vladimir Putin stay in such great shape?

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34 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: How Does Vladimir Putin Stay in Such Great Shape?”

  1. can of spam says:

    Cookies, of course!

  2. can of spam says:

    He burns approximately 4,712 calories per day laughing his a** off about Obama.

  3. can of spam says:


  4. can of spam says:

    He has any excess fat cells taken outside and shot.

  5. can of spam says:

    Spam, spam, spam, eggs, spam, baked beans, and spam.

  6. walruskkkch says:

    How does Vladimir Putin stay in such great shape?

    Biatch slapping Obama every morning.

    Drinking the blood of virgins.

    He follows Michelle Obama’s dieting advice.

  7. walruskkkch says:

    How does Vladimir Putin stay in such great shape?


  8. Oppo says:

    Doing the Jane Fonda routine not just in politics, but in exercise as well.

  9. Iowa Jim says:

    One hour every morning punching a heavy bag that looks like Obama, and has the same IQ.

  10. Oppo says:

    I don’t know, but he is one gulaggin’ man.

  11. Jimmy says:

    In Russia, great shapes you!

  12. Oppo says:


  13. Jimmy says:

    With his m i n d.

  14. Jimmy says:

    Jimmy Dean sausages.

  15. Oppo says:

    Shooting hoops… If the hoops get out of line.

  16. Bob B says:

    By pushing around lesser world leaders (that’s a lot of dead weight).

  17. Oppo says:

    By promising himself that if he likes his dacha, he can keep it. Period.

  18. Oppo says:

    Binging and purging like all Russian leaders.

  19. johny says:

    Punching hippies.

  20. Fangbeer says:

    pumping the iron curtain

  21. Zaklog the Great says:

    By constantly running circles around Obama on foreign policy conflicts.

  22. Jimmy says:

    Rachel Ray in the morning and Lil’ Debbie’s in the evening.

  23. Fangbeer says:

    Dolph Lundgren workout routine.

  24. James says:

    He keeps a picture of Chris Christie taped to his refrigerator.

  25. DamnCat says:


  26. Burt says:

    I found a video of his workout group!

  27. Anonymiss says:

    @3 Cookies to can of spam! [If not Zumba, then there’s always this approach …

    @8, @24 Cookies to Oppo and James!!! 😀

  28. TGregg says:

    He throws heavy stuff in the air, working his way up to be able to nuke the moon with a handheld device!

  29. jw says:


    if you meant Subway Sandwiches, they have sold us out.

  30. c64wood says:

    he works out to the 20-minute videos from the 80s

  31. TerribleTroy says:

    He gets injected with the same steroids that they give to the Russian Women’s Power Lifting team

  32. CLIFF says:

    Richard Simmons man……Richard Simmons!

  33. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …there’s not a whole lot of calories in vodka.

  34. willy says:

    Kicking over guys riding bicycles while wearing mom jeans.

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