That’s right, Bin Laden sent a message to Zarqawi to attack America and we intercepted it. But thats not all the intel we scored.
Here is an actual* IM Log recovered from Osama’s Blackberry.
OBL: Wassup Mikey?
MM: I’m really bummed. Not even getting one nomination! I thought Hollywood hated Bush and America as much as we do, O. That [bleep]ing Jesus movie even got nominated for…something.
OBL: WT! Really? Nominated for what?
MM: Ehh, I don’t know. best miracle or something. I’m too upset right now to find out.
OBL: Make no sense, f911 had it all, Bush, a goat, monetary backing from Hezbollah. It was the total package.
MM: I don’t wanna talk about it.
OBL: Hey pal, you ok?
MM: Got no appetite, weight’s down to like 405.
OBL: Mikey, your fasting pains of rejection will be replaced with the glory of jihad! I just sent word to our buddy Zarky baby and trust me, those academy infidels AND Bush will soon roast like the pigs they are in a glorious hickory fired open pit of doom.
MM: Mmmm. thanks O, You know just what to say. BRB, suddenly got the urge for some BBQ.
MM: No offense.
OBL: Hey, none taken, I’ll just save the cannibalism joke for later.
MM: LOL!
MM: O, you’re incorrigible!
OBL: Heh, sorry, too easy, You were WIIIIIDE open for that one.
MM: O!
OBL: You backed right into it [beep] [beep] [beep]
MM: O! Be nice. you how sensitive I am about my figure. You were the one who told me dark colors were slimming.
OBL: Oh yeah.
OBL: Sorry.
MM: Sokay. TTYL.
OBL: Still going to get BBQ?
OBL: ?
OBL: Mike?
MM: No.
OBL: Why not?
MM has signed off.
‘Moore’ from OBL’s Blackberry is sure to follow.
*completely and totally made up
HA
ya, he’s fat.
I invented blackberries. Both kinds.
See if you can find the log from his IM chat with Aquaman.
But where’s the list of email addresses? That’s where the fur REALLY starts flying.
bstreisand@rhinoproboscis.com
jfk2004@flipper.com
delivery@pizza-hut.com
Heh!
I bet the NR guy (forgot his name, does the Larry King thing) reads your stuff and STEALS FROM YOU ALL THE TIME!
This made me bust out laughing at work. My boss is pissed that we’re running close to a deadline. It’s all you guys’ fault.
Thank you. 🙂
Oh, and please please please make this a regular feature!
Andy, Glad to…help? Regular feature? I don’t know, maybe if you begged a little more.
I have to give it to you spacemonkey you always deliver the goods. Not only was that clever and funny as hell but it’s accurate. I’m not sure which of those SOBs I hate Moore. I’d like to club both of them like baby seals. Anyway, keep up the good work!
Good ‘Ol Boy, Thanks
Do OBL’s convo with John Edwards next. I can’t wait to see the Silky Pony humiliated even more.