There are some who say that the situation in Iraq is a quagmire. I don’t know how many people know what a quagmire is, though, and whether that is most accurate. A quagmire is land with a soft muddy surface. It’s not like you’d fear death to walk through a quagmire; instead, it’s more like, “Eww, I don’t want to step in that quagmire with these new boots.” If the situation in Iraq is a quagmire, that’s icky, but not dire. Now, hopefully it’s actually a marsh which is an area of soft, wet, low-lying land, characterized by grassy vegetation and often forming a transition zone between water and land. That would mean we are in a transitional phase.
But does the situation in Iraq remind you more of an acidic substrate and peat moss? Then it might be a bog. Though it also might be a fen or a mire (a quagmire sans the quag) – which are similar to marshes and bogs. Once again, these aren’t pleasant, but I think we can still manage in Iraq if it’s a fen.
Now, it could be a morass, but that’s just an area of low-lying, soggy ground – completely manageable. I know what might be concerning you, though: What if Iraq is a swamp? Well, a swamp is a seasonally flooded bottomland with more woody plants than a marsh and better drainage than a bog. Did you get that? More woody plants than a marsh and better drainage than a bog. That doesn’t sound bad at all, except I know the swamps here in Florida tend to have snakes and alligators – nothing an M-16 can’t handle, though. So I wouldn’t worry too much if Iraq is a swamp. If it’s a slough, that’s just a stagnant swamp, so also no worries.
What I fear, though, is if the situation in Iraq becomes a muskeg. A muskeg is like a swamp or a bog but with sphagnum moss. See, I don’t know what sphagnum moss is, and I fear the unknown.
But, whether people come to agree that Iraq is a quagmire, marsh, bog, fen, mire, morass, swamp, slough, or muskeg, it’s pretty clear you don’t want to go treading through Iraq and then into the house, because your mom will yell at you for the mud or other wet stuff you’ll get all over the floor. Still, I recommend that the Bush administration call Iraq a wetland which is exactly the same as a swamp but sounds better (that’s why environmentalist came up with the name; “Save the wetlands!” sounds much better than “Save the swamps!”). If people think that the situation in Iraq is a wetland, they’ll be like, “Oh, that sounds pretty.”
I hope you found this educational and now have a better understanding of Iraq.
First!
I’m hoping for a bog – preferably a peat bog, since that would be useful from a burning-fuel standpoint.
No blood for peat!
See? No ring to it. We can work with that.
– MuscleDaddy
I think Iraq is actually a desert… what sort of wetland would you call that?
It’s not a desert Ann. It’s a, um, a… Crap. I forgot what liberals call it.
Bush should go on TV and say, “If Iraq becomes a quagmire, we must consider a nucUlar response.”
Can we call it a ski slope? It’s all down hill from here and at the bottom we can all drink rum and cokes at the lodge.
Look, this quagmire is simply the kind of stuff the media and others have been trained to come up wiht from the liberelt and other ignorant people.
They’re stupid. They need a one word description of anything. Which is why they dropped Neo-Con for Hitler. Neo-con was too much like more than one word.
If you give a liberal more than one word in describing something, their eyes go blank to match their brains, and they cut you off at a sentence and a half and start talking about the dire gay situation or that poor prairie dog who would have to move so a mean nasty old gas refinery could be put in to lower the price of gas.
Brilliant assessment, Frank.
Victory’s not as much fun as it used to be. Back after WW2 if we detained insurgents we usually shot them. Now the ACLU wants to read them their rights, as if they have any.
http://www.ajc.com/news/content/custom/blogs/guard/entries/2005/08/20/lock_and_load.html
No its a quagmire plus some unused diesel.
Wait a second if the gas just comes right up out of the ground and gets stuck to the soldiers boots…. BRING HOME OUR TROOPS (boots).
If its a peat bog, then can Iraq start distilling and exporting single malt scotches? (ummmm, scotch)
I don’t know about the rest, but I am pretty sure they have at least a marsh in the south. Newstypes kept talking about the Marsh Arabs. Now I wonder, is a marsh better or worse then a quagmire?
much more like a terminal morain….
i was twisting my ankles like Chubby Checker on amphetamines on all the damn rocks all over the place.