(A Filthy Lie)
Like Michelle Malkin, Glenn Reynolds gets his fair share of venomous missives from unbalanced readers.
Unlike Michelle Malkin, surprisingly few of them are crude slurs about being a woman or a minority. Most of it is revolves around a perceived dearth of Instalanching, like this typical example:
“Why won’t you link me??? Why don’t you answer my e-mails??? After all the cool links I’ve sent you, you OWE ME!!! I HATE YOU!!! You’re a stink-butt poopy-head, that’s what you are!!!
Your #1 Fan,
Frank J.
PS You can make it up to me by linking this cool post I did on the Semite menace.”
Aside from the “where’s my link?” theme, however, the rest of his mail tends to fall into one of the several categories listed below:
- Korean restaurants complaining that the last meat shipment tasted more like Labradoodle than Shih Tzu, despite what the shipping manifest said.
- Cease & Desist orders from the Precious Moments people regarding his line of “Satanic Moments” figurines – especially that “Hobo, Bloody Hobo“, which is particularly nastly.
- PeTA (People Eating Tasty Animals) berating Glenn for drinking animals, which is just sick and inhumane.
- Long, obscenity-laced screeds from angry mothers who bought Glenn’s adult movie “Tramp of the Penguins” by mistake.
- The American Nudist Association trying to talk Glenn into joining their “Best of Blogging” organization: “Sleeping Naked Media”.
- Rejection letters from Fox saying they’re STILL not interested in producing his show “So You Think You Can Robot Dance“.
- University of Tennessee frat boys sending death threats for selling them fake Spanish Fly. Usually containing the line “You said these were spurious. They didn’t spur her on at all!”.
- E-mails addressed to “Professor Reynolds” wanting to know if he ever nailed Ginger while he was stuck on that island.
- Or Gilligan.
Of course, the most common category is requests for tips on how to punch Frank J.
Usually from Laurence Simon.