OK, some of the previous facts have been hard to swallow, but this one clearly violates all known laws of physics.
Oh, wait, right — “Fred Thompson can violate all known laws of physics.” My bad.
It should be noted that Fred Thompson eats hippies and craps commies.
As a side note to this, Fred Thompson never has to worry about enough fiber in his diet, due to the hemp clothing of the hippies.
Not even the confounding fact that in this day of cell phones, satellites and GPS these clods have remained lost longer than the castaways of “Gilligan’s Island”?
They may have explained that away, but I’ve never seen an episode, so…
//In fact, Fred Thompson can solve the mystery by watching just 1 minute of the Season Premiere Posted by: Sir Andrew on May 11, 2007 01:20 PM //
Yeah Fred just passed me this note…it says “they’re dead and in Hell”
I’m betting Fred was the one who caused the plane to crash in the first place…glaring at it or something….
Fred Thompson just sent me a telepathic brain message (my super extra capacity brain-o-matic being one of only a couple known to exist anywhere in the universe that can handle a Fred Thompson communication without melting) that he has learned of superfluous discussions about his understanding of silly gay things like TV shows and Broadway musicals! He has asked me to convey a message of impending doom if you do not repent and turn from your unFredTompsonness.
The Dharma Initiative tried to harness Fred Thompson’s rage as a source of energy. It escaped and is wandering the island as a black cloud that uproots trees.
Lost is actually based on Fred Thompson’s teenage years.
In 1958, he died in a plane wreck off the South Pacific. He woke up on a deserted island and, unlike every other dumbass on that show, realized he was in purgatory.
He was pissed…not that he died, but that god had sent him to purgatory. Instead of reconciling himself to his fate, he traveled through hell, a la Dante, beat up the devil and climbed to heaven. Whereupon God apologized and admitted he was aiming for some rock musicians instead. Thompson beat god in a game of chess and was brought back to life with the promise that he would become a Senator, an actor, and date hot chicks well into his 50s.
He will leave us again one day, but not through death. The time will come when Thompson gets bored of Earth, and travels back through his old haunts of heaven and hell to see what other adventures await him.
Except for why anyone ever watches the show.
People watch something other than 24, Hockey, and Brit Hume? I refuse to believe it.
Are you implying that Fred Thompson is confused by other things? …anything?
OK, some of the previous facts have been hard to swallow, but this one clearly violates all known laws of physics.
Oh, wait, right — “Fred Thompson can violate all known laws of physics.” My bad.
I have never been confused by anything on Lost either – mainly because I have never seen it. Hooray for me!
It should be noted that Fred Thompson eats hippies and craps commies.
As a side note to this, Fred Thompson never has to worry about enough fiber in his diet, due to the hemp clothing of the hippies.
Not even the confounding fact that in this day of cell phones, satellites and GPS these clods have remained lost longer than the castaways of “Gilligan’s Island”?
They may have explained that away, but I’ve never seen an episode, so…
Thus confirming (as if it were needed) that Fred Thompson is far smarter than the writers of said program…
In fact, Fred Thompson can solve the mystery by watching just 1 minute of the Season Premiere
Isn’t this URL supposed to be a cat blog?
//In fact, Fred Thompson can solve the mystery by watching just 1 minute of the Season Premiere Posted by: Sir Andrew on May 11, 2007 01:20 PM //
Yeah Fred just passed me this note…it says “they’re dead and in Hell”
I’m betting Fred was the one who caused the plane to crash in the first place…glaring at it or something….
Fred Thompson just sent me a telepathic brain message (my super extra capacity brain-o-matic being one of only a couple known to exist anywhere in the universe that can handle a Fred Thompson communication without melting) that he has learned of superfluous discussions about his understanding of silly gay things like TV shows and Broadway musicals! He has asked me to convey a message of impending doom if you do not repent and turn from your unFredTompsonness.
Fred Thompson’s social security number is 481-51-62342.
Yes, I know there’s one digit too many, but this is Fred Thompson we’re talking about.
Fred Thompson caused me to forget to put my name on the previous comment
The Dharma Initiative tried to harness Fred Thompson’s rage as a source of energy. It escaped and is wandering the island as a black cloud that uproots trees.
Fred Thompson is Jacob.
Lost is actually based on Fred Thompson’s teenage years.
In 1958, he died in a plane wreck off the South Pacific. He woke up on a deserted island and, unlike every other dumbass on that show, realized he was in purgatory.
He was pissed…not that he died, but that god had sent him to purgatory. Instead of reconciling himself to his fate, he traveled through hell, a la Dante, beat up the devil and climbed to heaven. Whereupon God apologized and admitted he was aiming for some rock musicians instead. Thompson beat god in a game of chess and was brought back to life with the promise that he would become a Senator, an actor, and date hot chicks well into his 50s.
He will leave us again one day, but not through death. The time will come when Thompson gets bored of Earth, and travels back through his old haunts of heaven and hell to see what other adventures await him.
Fred Thompson created Super Massive Black Holes so that when he sends Hillary there her ass will fit!
Fred Thompson’s gravitas can suck light out of a black hole.
haha! that’s pretty impressive =P