President Bush was woken by the phone ringing. “What time is it?” He glanced at the clock: 3 A.M. “Oh… come on…” He picked up the phone. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”
“Sir, this is Secretary Gates. We have–”
“3 A.M., Robby. Can’t this wait until morning?”
“Sir, we are on the verge of–”
“I’m a busy man, you know. I have stuff to do in the morning.”
“Sir, this is very important. India and Pakistan are on the verge of having a nuclear exchange.”
Bush was quiet for a moment. “Wow. Really? …You really thought that was something worth waking me up at some ungodly hour? How in the world does that affect us?”
“We are talking about–”
“And what do you expect me to do, anyway? I’m not Superman; I can’t just fly over there and grab the missiles out of the air. Did you get the presidential phone mixed up with your Superman signal watch, Dick Grayson?”
“I think you mean Jimmy Olsen, sir.”
“It’s too early in the morning for me to keep secondary comic book characters straight!”
“Honey?” Laura asked, half asleep. “Is it something important?”
“No,” Bush answered her and put the phone back to his ear. “Why are they even doing this now? Doesn’t India and Pakistan know what time it is? Don’t they have to sleep?”
“It’s a different time there, sir.”
“Huh?”
“It’s not the same time there as it is here?”
“What? Now time travel is involved? It’s way to early in the morning for me to be dealing with this crap.”
“Sir, a nuclear exchange is an unprecedented incident. This is a world changing event, and we will need you to lead.”
Bush sighed. “Fine.” He started to get out of bed.
“Ha! I punked you!” Gates said.
“Oh, man…”
“Yeah, there’s nothing happening. I just felt like pulling a prank on you.”
Bush laughed. “You got me. That’s like the third time this week, you rascal.” Bush hung up the phone and laid back in bed. “My staff is wacky.”
Cute, but you should’ve had the President make Gates re-pronounce the word, new-cue-ler! (Something I find endearing by the way….I still love my steel spined, adult, Cowboy president!)
I love this! I think that they should put pix of GW on that website, Cute Overload. No matter how much he pisses me off, I just can’t resist that little smile.
We sound like we have some stuff in common, #1! Now are you really upnorth? Cuz I am from really upnorth.
The Prez needs to call Rummy up and find out what happened to Chomps and the Rumsfeld Strangler. They always made a story more interesting.
If I were involved, this story wouldn’t have a happy ending.
I believe, as Heinlein wrote, that waking someone unnecessarily shouldn’t be a capital offense.
The first time.
You missed the first part of the story, Frank.
India: We are being nuclear superpower!
Pakistan: You are infidel eaters of grass and flowers, we think every day.
India: You are powerless eaters of dead animals, while we are sophisticated modern country with computers and modems, now.
Pakistan: You to be women who answer the phones for Americans with your computers and modems, we are thinking.
India: We are having satellites and bombs to destroy you, but you are third world country now.
Pakistan: You are not that. You swim in dirty rivers, we see on CNN many times a day.
India: We are taking baths, but you are unwashed eaters of camels and pigs now.
Pakistan: You will stop this talk, or Osama on you we will be going.
India: You will be going into the cave with him to eat dead things now, so watch while your huts and ox carts are turned to tiny atoms now.
That provides enough of the back story, I think, to understand why the President was ready to fall for the Secretary’s awesome punk.
This is all as funny as George hugging the Easter Bunny.
Which I saw a picture of on some website this morning. Now I can’t find it. It WAS funny. Really. Funny. Sorta. Kinda. Funny. Yeah… Frank and Socrates are definitely funnier, though. Not as funny. Funnier.
Yes, neocon Cowgirl, I am in ND. Can’t get much farther north and still be in America!
So you think this is funny? I was all prepared to duck and cover just like Hillary did in Bosnia and then you pulled the rug out from under me…kind of like CBC news did last night! What an outrageous hit piece on a woman that just “mis-spoke”! After all she is the endorsed candidate of Operation Chaos and El Rush Bo the “loveable little fuzzball”…
#5 Absolutly hillarious Socrates! +1
Frank: “It’s really hard.”
Greek: “Yeah, I know.”
Frank: “I try sooo hard to find funny material.”
Greek: “Hey, you’re doin’ alright.”
Frank: (sobbing) “I don’t want to see us go backwards.” (sniff)
Greek: “You’ve always got Harvey.”
Frank: “Yeah, but the news just isn’t funny anymore. And I can’t pull a ‘Harvey’ all the time.” (tears in eyes)
Greek: “I know, but you’re a great writer. Make stuff up.”
Frank: (sigh) “Like Hillary? Yeah, but will they laugh?”
Greek: “That’s OK. Give ’em crap. Funny crap.”
Frank: (smiling) “You mean like the time I was invited to speak at the Republican Convention?”
Greek: “Sure!”
Frank: “And when I arrived, there was sniper fire and we had to duck as we ran into the building?”
Greek: “Stuff like that. Now, stories with funny foreign accents are good, too.”
Frank: “Do you think John McCain will be a good source of jokes?”
Greek: “Well, he’s not as funny as GW but you’ll find a way. Especially as the convention nears.”
Frank: “I hope so. It’s just so hard. I don’t want us to go backwards.” (eyes clear now)
Funny accents and cadences or not, at least the Indians and Pakistanis can speak English. That seems to be on its way out in this country.
George, with you on that. Indians and Pakistanis seem to hate each other in such a genteel way. They are both genuinely hard-working and bright peoples. It really bothers me to make fun of them.
But, oh by gosh golly jove, indeed will I do so.