HARRISBURG, PA (AP) – Ahead of the Pennsylvania primaries, Democrat Party leaders report that they are thrilled at the possibility of every single state’s primary actually mattering in 2008. The second half of the primary season has been irrelevant since 1952, resulting in millions of essentially disenfranchised voters.
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DNC Chairman Howard Dean shared his excitement as it seems more and more likely that every vote will count this year. “The Democrat Party has always been about making sure that every vote counts,” said Dean. “Women, Minorities, Homeless, Mexicans, dead people – everyone should have a voice in choosing a Democrat to lead this nation.”
Former Vice President Al Gore was similarly enthused. “Ever since the 2000 vote in Florida,” said Gore, “the Democrat Party has been adamant that every vote should count. Sometimes two or three times. However, since candidates are normally chosen by February, the people of Pennsylvania and many other states with late primaries have essentially been disenfranchised for decades. I’m delighted that their votes will actually matter this year.”
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi sees this year’s extended primary as being “what Democracy is all about”. “We have the male, female, black, and white perspectives all chattering away in a vigorous national dialogue,” said Pelosi. “The only way this could be better is if we had a homosexual voice in the mix. Sadly, Barney Frank won’t run and John Edwards dropped out.”
“I almost feel sorry for the Republicans,” Pelosi added sadly. “With McCain being chosen so early, the Republicans in most states have no voice in choosing who will represent them in Washington. They might as well be living in Cuba, or Soviet Russia, or Massachusetts. Frankly, I see no difference between McCain and Kim Jong Il, since both will get 100% of the vote from their party.”
If HRC wins the PA primary, and if I lived in Denver, I would be stocking up on plywood.
I know that IMAO is a PG-13 site, but do you have any idea how hard it is not to caption that photo of Dean with an allusion to certain sexual activities??
Aside from that, it’s been rumored that Teddy drunKennedy was so thrilled by the “No Vote Left Behind” policy that he could hardly swallow his chowdah.
Counting every vote is so important to the dhimmicrats that they sued to keep the polls open late in St Louis so more dead people could vote.
“The Democrat Party has always been about making sure that every vote counts,” said Dean. “Women, Minorities, Homeless, Mexicans, dead people – everyone should have a voice in choosing a Democrat to lead this nation.”*
*Democratic Party enfranchisement not available in Michigan or Florida.
It’s not really fair to make fun of Democrats regarding issues of voting. Once we found out several years ago that they were incapable of pushing a pin through a perforated hole in a voting card, or couldn’t tell the difference between GORE and BUCHANAN on a ballot, it just became kind of sad. And, have you seen their candidates? Mental handicaps are not funny.
Well they got the every vote counts part right. Vote early, vote often, vote dead, it’s the Democratic way.