I thought I should follow up on my Two America post from the other day. Now, first off, this isn’t some impotent cry of anger like a succession; this is supposed to be a long term solution. We have two groups in America with divergent goals, and conservatives can’t actually get rid of liberals. They’ll always arise in a prosperous society and work on eroding freedom with their little fascisms because they have nothing better to do. That’s why I think we need to stay as one country but give each other his own sandbox to play in. Liberals will have their area to pass all the taxes, government programs, and nanny state laws they want, and conservatives (classic liberals) can have their own area where it’s made near impossible for government to do anything. We’ll all have the same military, same president (though his function will be just for foreign affairs), and you won’t need a passport or anything to move between the two Americas, but all there will be a big firewall between each area’s domestic laws.
Basically, it’s pretty much impossible to scale back the federal government with all the people who now depend on its programs, so instead let’s just redirect it to a more limited area. Now, Sissy America (or Enlightened America — I don’t care what we have to call it to get liberals to sign on) will have all the parts of the federal government that were dedicated to domestic affairs to itself and no longer have to worry about conservatives trying to stop their enlightened ideas… but they will also have to fund it solely by taxing the states that fall under their jurisdiction. As for Free America (or Stupid Rethuglican America — I really don’t care), it shouldn’t need any central authority as there would be nothing for it to do. We’re talking super scary, no net freedom. You have basic laws like don’t murder each other and police, but that’s about it.
Now, it will be a challenge figuring which states go in which America, and we might need to break up some states. Usually there would be huge resistance to that because of reduced political power, but since the elected president and representatives will deal only with foreign affairs and no pork or domestic programs, that won’t be as important (Sissy America will have to have its own separate centralized government to deal with domestic programs).
So that, once again, is the vision. You can’t have your Heinlein libertarian utopia because there will always be sissies who get scared and want to expand the government. So now, they’ll have a place within the same country to go if they get scared while leaving the rest of America free. Everyone is happy. I really think this is a workable solution.
Now, it will be a challenge figuring which states go in which America, and we might need to break up some states.
Let the record show that the delegation from bitter and clingy Central Pennsylvania is perfectly willing to be separated from Philadelphia.
Thank you.
I’m gonna need a moving van. Sissies rule my neck of the woods.
I live in the sissy state of sissy states! If you look up Sissy State in Webster you will see Minnesota! How do we fund the breakup after Obama takes away all our money?
I still say we should try the Douglas Adams solution: convince them that something terrifying is going to happen here (like the oceans are actually going to boil off the way Al Gore tells us they will, or something) and that the only solution is to flee to another solar system. Then the liberal ship “goes first”, with the promise that we’ll be “right behind them”.
Please tell me that you all get that that is the Constitution as written and originally understood.
“Now, first off, this isn’t some impotent cry of anger like a succession”
Frank, brilliant idea, but, I’m pretty sure you meant secession right there. Sorry, misspelled (and in this case a word with a totally different meaning) words bother me. If I’m wrong someone explain what Frank IS trying to say in that sentence, please.
I think we should stay with the original idea of Sissy America occupying all the coastal areas. The populace would then be able to assist the military as our “first line of defense” against invasion. Colloquially known as “tank barricades” or “cannon fodder”. We (The God-like Conservative States of America) would occupy the high ground in support of our sissy-ass brothers.
The south will rise again!
There is absolutely no hope for Minnesota. It will have to be lobbed-off and given to Canada. Eh? Nancy nance nance all you Al Franken heads! I nominate ussjimmycarter to be chief head lopper. Send him your machete’s!!
All of the oil and coal producing states had better be in Free America…
What I want to know is, if we ship all of the “sissies” to the sissy states, how are we going to be able to punch hippies in Free America?
There is one potentially fatal error in your plan: The criminal (leftist) class is a migratory sub-species.
They’ll export their vileness and disease as part of their domestic agenda.
#10 Everydayjoe, at least then we will have something to shoot, that we don’t have to eat.
There is no Hope for Minnesota or Washington State. They’ll have to be lobbed-off and given to Canada (the people, people!). By the time that happens, I’ll be living in Tonga where the King has geosynchronous satellite slots and burns tires in his electrical plant.
We could have 50 Americas all united under a small federal government.
Don’t we already have a Sissy America? It’s called Canada. 60’s radicals went there a long time ago.
Couldn’t we just deport the Sissy ones to Canada and have America be what it was supposed to be in the first place? You wouldn’t even need to change the Constitution.
Finally we can move the gays, illegals, and other demanding minorities to different parts of the country so the real America won’t have to deal with their sissy ways.
“…and you won’t need a passport or anything to move between the two Americas, but all there will be a big firewall between each area’s domestic laws.”
That is the single problem, Frank. As everydayjoe has already stated, the way marxist liberals spread their poison is through constant migration. On the West Coast, forty years ago, the Los Angeles basin, San Fransicko and Seattle used to be the only liberal bastions. In that amount of time, after destroying those cities with high taxes and Soviet style legislation, they spread like a cancer and have now destroyed Portland (and surrounding areas), the mass majority of California (now the Peoples’ Republic of California), Washington State (West of Mt. Rainier), and are in the process of taking over Nevada.
Now, Conservatives like to stay put and improve their territory, so liberals don’t have to worry about a conservative invasion, but the problem with liberal free movement, I have previously stated. I would have no problem with liberals visiting and spending their money,just so long as they quickly leave. The only way this would work is to have each liberal injected with a tracking microchip. We conservatives would oppose this for ourselves, knowing that the chip is the mark of the beast, but liberals, most of whom are Godless, could probably be convinced, given the proper excuse. Say it’s for medical purposes (in line with their nanny state)…something like tracking the effects of global warming on the human immune system. That way, if liberals remain in conservative territory for more than a couple weeks, we can track them down and deport them back to their own territory. Other than this, it think you’ve got a great idea!
Right, I think it’s kind of funny that this is exactly how the Constitution was written. Really small federal gov. with each state being able to decide how to govern themselves.
It’s pretty obvious what we really need to do: go back in time, go to each of the points when we were dumb enough to allow the federal government to expand their power, punch all the voters in the groin, tell them to knock it off, hop back in the time machine, come back to the present and relax in our free utopia filled with flowing beer, beautiful, genetically enhanced women with four boobs and dinasaurs with rocket launchers protecting us.
Your plan worked great until scientists in the People’s Republic of California created a race of super-monkeys. Since you lived in the “other” America, you didn’t care about the severity of the new monkey menace and allowed it to spread across the globe.
Take it from me, the constant recitation of “Hail Our Glorious Leader, Scary Evil Monkey!” gets really old after the first few thousand times.
Trying to split up Israel and give parts to the non-producing lazy palistinians didn’t work either.
I still say we should try the Douglas Adams solution
Douglas Adams didn’t invent that. It’s in a CM Kornbluth story, called (wait for it…):
The Marching Morons.
There are no solutions for “Two Americas” unless the purpose of the conversation is solely silly bantor. Communism, Marxism, Fascism do not leave any room for opposing views. Firing squad, gulag, or mysterious disapearance is the only latitude allowed unless preceded by destroying reputations or character assasination.
I may be off the mark with this comment as I presume the purpose of the post was in keeping with sarcasm or dry humor which I enjoy, but, at some point one cannot be a Nero to their own purpose.
Freedom and Slavery are not compatable, and the closest anyone comes is if they are Free to enslave.
There are not Two Americas but rather two opposing ideologies. Someone has to and will win. The second place runner up will be skewered.
Must read today’s Get Fuzzy
I am really going to have to insist that Free America have SOME coastline. Maybe Delaware through Florida will suffice…but we need a fair amount of beach front.
Maybe a better model is to offer the Sissies more of a City State model. Give them the major urban centers along with some States that have been totally corrupted (MA, MN, IL, CA, WA, etc.). We can sell them on the glory of Ancient Greece, and they can argue Marxist and Socialist bullcrap all day long at the foot of their pseudo-Parthanons, raise taxes on each other, demonstrate against the evil Jews and their plans for World Domination, racism, gay rights, animal rights, and the legalization of drugs, and whatever else floats their blessed little dinghys.
They can wear togas and sandals all day, wear their hair long, and agitate for change (Yes We Can!). We’ll ship them food, fine wine, cofee, and legalized, high-grade marijuana (at solid, captalistic gross margins) in return for a promise to never set foot in Free America.
If they don’t follow the rules, then periodically we’ll do a Carthage-style razing of one of their city states, including the ravaging of their women and plowing their herb gardens with salt.
Burp…that’s what I think.
Yup – just like the Constitution – we just sort of break it into 3 Big States.
(essentially the Coasts and the Middle)
Although, I think we should use I-80 as a ‘corridor’ to allow sissy-citizens to pass-through from one coast to the other – no restrictions, but no dawdling either…
..and don’t cough on anyone on your way through.
– MuscleDaddy
Texas votes for Heinlein’s government!
I’ve given this a lot of thought. The big problem is NUKES. Sissy states can’t have them. Since land-based nukes are already in Freedomland, and since the coast states are turning as blue as a nancing fairy at an unstoppable rate (yeah, even Texas is doomed!), we need several inland ports for Freedomland’s Trident submarines.
There are several possible routes:
1. Blow a big nuke hole through San Francisco (the Bay entrance isn’t wide enough) and the Sierra Nevada’s and locate a base in Utah on the Great Salt Lake. For a while, this will make the sub’s float higher with all the salt, which is good. Plus, it’ll replenish the lake with natural saltwater. San Francisco will become a nuclear radiation museum.
2. Scour-out the Mississippi with nukes clear to Kansas (through Arkansas and the Clinton birthplace) and have one there. This will clear-out the snakes, giant human-eating catfish and many Democrats. Plus, no one ever proposes messing with Bob Dole in Kansas. Heck, the area used to be an inland sea anyway.
3. Perform nuclear widening of the St. Lawrence seaway and add a canal clear to South Dakota’s Mount Rushmore through the Great Lakes and Chicago. This would eliminate the Chicago machine and provide poor Republican residents of South Dakota with much-needed jobs. If I were a nuke sailor, I’d want my base near Mount Rushmore.
Hmmmmm….Two Americas…why, that’s so crazy it just might work…on second thought, forget it.
Liberals need conservatives in order to have the freedom and security to act out their foolhardiness in front of the nation; rebelling against societal norms is charming only when practiced by a few who are tolerated by the many. When this changes, and all of us think it novel and cute to be brutish, surly slobs, up to here with entitlement, drugs, sex and booze, then civilization will go “poof” and liberals know it.
They would hire ACLU goons (at taxpayers’ expense, what else) to enforce their “civil right” to live among those who think that respect, civility, traditions, family and faith matter.
Being liberal minded doesn’t mean wanting to take chances living among the practitioners of that worldview…Rev. Wright lives in a GATED community…the fraud.
I’m beginning to side with the idea of just penning the liberals in their “Greek inspired city-states” where they can do all the stuff their Greek heroes did, namely buggerin’. They should have as little territory as possible, in my opinion. Also, this plan will enable us to retain our military installations in blue states, i.e. NSB New London, Camp Pendleton, NS Portsmouth, etc.
San Francisco, CA can be Sparta. Seattle, WA can be Athens. Eugene, OR can be Thermopolye.
Every year they can do reenactments of ‘The 300’ to their little, pink heart’s content.
Jimmy,
Texas is NOT doomed. So long as any of her Sons and Daughters have anything to say about it, she’s still free, and still the 3rd coast.
Except for Austin. That’s already a toxic dump of loopiness. But we all know that anyway, and can just treat them as a sort of leper colony.
Free tickets to Euro Disney for the first 100000000000 liberals, muslims, illegals. One way. Once they’re gone we change the locks, patrol the borders and build Reagan’s “Star Wars” defense shield.
Then we tell the Israeli’s it’s open season and wait for the dust to settle.
But then I’m a Celt, we used to paint ourselves blue, bleach our hair white and become almost psychotic before we went into battle (at least that’s what those who survived the battle reported) so I might be a little over the top. It’s happened a time or two before.
i agree and will be signing up to help out with the demarcation begining with the line that runs along the western arizona nevada idaho borders,personally i think setting off a few thousand megatons worth of dynamite(don’t want to waste the soon to be needed in the middle east nukes we have)along said border to nudge it off into the pacific would be a good start.
we should use I-80 as a ‘corridor’ to allow sissy-citizens to pass-through from one coast to the other
Sounds like the deal the last batch offered. Just a few wagons, they said. No stagecoach, no telegraph, no iron horse, no buffalo hunters. They spoke with forked tongue.
Yes, I likey this idea! Although, I think Smart America (that’s us) needs to be incharge of borders, so I vote for the City State idea. Seems many states are already blue in the city and red in the country. It would be nice to have a couple of metropolitan areas so we have a place to spend all the money we will make with our free market and non exsistant taxes.