Lord of the Flies

Beelzebub (n): Beelzebub, prince of devils, from Latin, from Greek Beelzeboub, from Hebrew Baʽal zĕbhūbh, a Philistine god, literally, lord of flies

If you needed more proof that Bill Gates is the Devil, then you now have it.

As a Mac user, I can’t say that I’m surprised.

On the other hand, Steve Jobs is the Anti-Christ, so either way, we’re all screwed.

29 Comments

  1. #4, Pseudo,

    You must be new here. There’s a running joke among Ronin that all IMAO bloggers besides Frank J. are simply manifestations of Frank’s multiple personality disorder. Well, less a joke, and more a truth, but I digress.

    “Basil”, comment?

  2. They keep talking about the next global super-plague.
    Bird flu, AIDs, smallpox, malaria, ebola, flesh-eating bacteria, vacine-resistant polio, SARs etc.
    All I want to know is …

    When?

    With my luck by the time the plague gets here I’ll end up roaming the deserted cities in a wheel chair, trying to remember where I left my false teeth.

  3. i hate to be nitpicky, but Beelzebub was actually a joke made by Jesus and other jewish people to make fun of the Philistine religion. the real translation is “lord of the manor”.

    by the way, i’m a long-time lurker and first time poster. and, i own a mac as well.

    [The pun, for those unfamiliar: Beezeboul was a common term for the Philistine diety, meaning “lord of the manor;” Beelzebub (used in Matthew 10:25, for instance) means “lord of the flies.” – B]

  4. Brandon….

    Information is NOT knowledge,
    Knowledge is not wisdom
    wisdom is not truth
    truth is not beauty (and neither are you)
    beauty is not love
    Love is not music
    music is not politics
    politics is not voters
    voters are freakin morons.

  5. I am a Linux guy, but I am going to have to say that I totally support this move by Microsoft to infect rich people with malaria. I always thought “class warfare” was just a lot of whining, but if we’re going to start taking it seriously, then you can count me in.

  6. Pingback: Bill Gates, Master Prankster « Liber Ex Machina

  7. They should have released a videotape of this. And in the videotape, one of the rich guys should have had a bucket full of DDT, which he should have overturned on top of Bill Gates’ head. He could have made some kind of funny joke about there being no reason for mosquitos to bother rich people when they have plenty of DDT on hand. And then he could have gotten serious and discussed how sending the cheap and effective DDT to the poor people would end their malaria problem and Bill could send that big check to IMAO for being so funny instead of sending it to poor people to stop them from getting malaria. Then when Pajamas Media closes their ad revenue for bloggers, IMAO won’t have any problem continuing to write these important posts. Also, the poor people won’t have malaria anymore and they will have such good bug-free crops they will end up becoming rich. Then they too can send money to IMAO out of gratitude for ending all their problems.

    I think it could work.

    If Beelzebub doesn’t wave his wand or something and screw it all up.

  8. Yeah well, here a fact. On attending a class in Computers and their application we came upon the chapter about what’s in the future computer-wise. The professor (a PC personal computer person ie not Mac) looked at the class full of PC folks and said and I quote “If you want to know what the next new thing is………look to Macintosh. There the leader. They come up with the ideas Bill Gates steals and makes loads of money on.

    I have had a Mac since 1986. We have always had windows, drop down menus, and I didn’t have to learn another language to use my computer. Nor do I have to find the start button to shut down. I just go to the apple menu right at the top and hit shut down. I’m personally excited when a new operating system comes out because I know even if it isn’t bug free, they will fix the problems in short order and I won’t have to pay through the nose for it.

    If you need to crunch numbers a PC is the perfect vehicle to do that. If you want to do anything creative Mac is where that is done best. I’m not sure why people think everyone has to have and use the same kind of computer but I’m pretty sure Bill Gates is a minion of Satan so even if I didn’t love my Mac I still wouldn’t buy anything from him.

  9. I’ve been on both sides of Apple/Mac and my first real job was at a Mac developer. I’ve known Microsoft was a thief of others innovation from the beginning, and it was a running joke in the IT community that you couldn’t name a Microsoft Product without in the back of your mind, knowing who they stole the idea from. I think the only original product they have are some of the later incarnations of SharePoint, and even that is stealing ideas from multiple sources rather than just ripping off a single one. That said, Apple has Al Gore on its board of directors and was founded by a high strung abusive hippie, and their early failures to be taken seriously by the business community can be directly traced to sales reps sent out who were more concerned with banging each other on the business trips than selling the product.

    When Bill Gates and Steve Jobs made that deal to save Apple at one point, Steve said “Just because Apple should win doesn’t mean Microsoft has to loose”. I’ve realized since then were i come down on it – Just because Microsoft should fail doesn’t mean Apple deserves to succeed.

    That said, I have bought PCs and MS apps for years, am well versed in some of their technologies, use iTunes, and plan to get an iPhone when my Motorola conks out. I’ve not owned a Mac in part because of the cost difference and in part because they always seem to have something better 6 months later. If I didn’t need PC apps for consulting I might switch, however, considering how much it cost to convert my core software to something that ran with Vista, I might have reconsidered that decision. Or not. For what I paid for my PC I could have gotten a Mac Mini, and then I couldn’t have upgraded it to dual monitors, Nvidia card, 4 GB RAM, and a terabyte of HD. And still been much cheaper than an iMac.

  10. This has a simple explanation. Microsoft is over, heading south. Cloud computing is going to do away with Vista and all variants. Gates needs to continue making billions.

    So he has bought the rights to DDT, which has been outlawed by the UN for decades. This was because it was so effective in controlling mosquitos, that the UN had nothing to do and no justification for funding from nice developed nations.

    Billy now sees an opportunity to bring it back BIG. He is using typical scare tactics to stampede the world into approving his plan for the greatest menace to the planet and mankind….liberal, malaria-laden mosquitos.

    You watch. You heard it here first.

  11. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » He Turned the Seas Red and the Screens Blue

  12. Bill Gates IS the devil, and I can prove it MATHEMATICALLY! He IS ALSO BARNEY THE DINOSAUR!!!

    Remember when text was in ASCII format? Each letter of the ASCII set corresponded to a number. Back in the days of teletypes (I realize this shows how old I am) and paper tape the decimal equivalent of the letter A was 65, B was 66, etc..

    B+I+L+L + G+A+T+E+S = 66 + 73 + 76 + 76 + 71 + 65 + 84 + 69 + 83

    = 663

    However, he is Bill Gates III, so add 3

    BILL GATES 3 = 666

    Using the same logic, so is Barney the Dinosaur

    BARNEY = CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR

    In the Latin alphabet there is no “U”, so we must substitute a “V”.

    BARNEY = CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR

    Add all the letters that have Roman Numeral equivalents

    C + V + V + L + D + I + V = 100 + 5 + 5 + 50 + 500 + 1 + 5

    =666

    Therefore Barney is ALSO Satan!

    All theologies agree that there is but one satan.

    If A = B and B = C, then A = C

    Bill Gates is Barney

    Q.E.D>

  13. #23.
    Yes I have had Macs.
    I also wear Berkenstocks
    I have never ridden in a Subaru
    Nor would I ever live in San Francisiko
    I quilt
    Shoot
    Have 6 children
    Been married to the same man for 31+years
    Go to church every Sunday
    Play World Of Warcraft (I’m a Night Elf Feral Druid and a Human Arcane Mage, among others)

    I am a mass of contradictions. But mostly:
    I am a child of Heavenly Father and He loves me, and that is the most precious and important thing in my life.

  14. Gee, maybe you can get a Beta video recorder to go with that Mac. LOL

    [Kid, I’ve been around since well before Betamax (to which I assume you refer). I was on my fourth computer before I got one that ran a Microsoft OS. It ran Microsoft DOS version 2.11.22. The first version of Windows I ran was 2.03. On my Mac, I run OS X (Leopard), Windows XP (’cause Vista sucks), and Linux. How many operating systems do you run on your PC? Between blue screens, that is? – B]

  15. Dearest Bob:

    Never had a Beta recorder
    Didn’t have to learn a different language to use my computer
    When I buy a new computer, I take it out of the box, plug it in, turn it on and “Bob’s Your Uncle” start working on it. How long does it take to install, reboot, install, reboot…….. your new computer?
    My computer has a small users guide, how big is the manual you have to read to use yours.
    I don’t begrudge anyone using a PC, nor to I begrudge people using spoons to mix mashed potatoes….it will work that way, just not very fast, not very well and not as enjoyably, but to each his own.

    Oh and I try to never get involved in the Mac/PC debate. It’s somewhat like the Conservative/Liberal debate, neither side is going to convince the other they are wrong and it always degenerates into name calling, you know like calling someone a liberal or gay or the like. (which side of these issues behaves that way again?…..Kind of make one say hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.)

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