He Turned the Seas Red and the Screens Blue

As Basil pointed out earlier, Bill Gates unleashed mosquitoes on a crowd. The guy must really have a god complex if he’s now inflicting plagues.

Of course, I wouldn’t bow down and worship any deity responsible for Windows Vista.

Frank on Phelps

I have an article over at Pajamas Media on the Michael Phelps scandal. Here at IMAO, we require drug testing every week. Harvey has been positive for six weeks straight now, so I guess I should probably come up with a policy on what we do if drug use is found.

But I’m lazy.

Global Warming Means Giant Snakes!

Scientists have found fossils of a one ton, forty two foot long boa constrictor that lived 60 million years ago (right after the dinosaurs died out — maybe it ate them!). The planet was a lot warmer back then because of all the global warming the dinosaurs caused before they died of ennui. So remember this equation:

More Heat = Bigger Snakes

This is why I think all the global warming hysteria is both stupid and dumb. Obviously, the planet has in place many balancing effects. It’s well known that squirrels are getting larger, and soon from global warming we’ll have giant snakes to eat those squirrels before they cause destruction. Everything works out.

Overreaching

Perhaps this stimulus fiasco will help Obama realize that people only voted for the abstract concept of Barack Obama. It wasn’t a mandate for his policies because no one knew or cared to know what they were. Thus you have a new president with a huge approval rating and no support for anything he wants to do.

What happens in the Wells Fargo boardroom…


Any other business?


Mr. Chairman, I have one final item.


The chair recognizes Howard Atkins.


Dick, it’s no secret that we’re hurting…


You can say that again.


Damn, Bob, you’re someone to talk.


As I was saying, we’re hurting. A year ago, our stock was over $33 a share. And, less than 5 months ago, we were nearly $40 a share. We’re barely 1/3 of that today.


Well, you’re Chief Financial Officer, Howard. What are you suggesting?
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