I have an article over at Pajamas Media on the Michael Phelps scandal. Here at IMAO, we require drug testing every week. Harvey has been positive for six weeks straight now, so I guess I should probably come up with a policy on what we do if drug use is found.
But I’m lazy.
That’s because Harvey’s been smokin’ teabags.
Your policy should be to force them to vote democratic. if that does not scare them straight, there is no hope. Or change.
Please don’t have one of those “Zero Tolerance” policies. If he tests negative once, give him a weekend off and let him retest on Monday!
Frankly, if we ever won the war on drugs, there’d be a lot less liberals because there’d be a lot less damaged minds that accept their ideas.
I recall some people saying that his gold metals indicate pot is not harmful. Um, how many brain cells does one need to SWIM?
What I see with chronics who started out smart is not that they can’t function, it’s that they are generally less emotionally sensitive, quicker to do the wrong thing, and occasionally stutter a bit when confronted with unexpected questions.
Oh crap, I just described the Obama administration, and Pelosi for that matter.
Just impliment a don’t ask, don’t tell policy, the military won’t be using it anymore.
I read it earlier & laughed. There’s another guy on the comment section named Frank who’s really on the soap box about how pot is actually totally good & how pot smokers are just treated so unfairly.
For example, did you guys know that pot smoke is the only kind of inhalant that isn’t bad for you, despite it being hot burnt particles containing God-knows-what beside THC? Apparently, it’s true. Especially when’s it’s filtered through water!
Duuuude…
Whenever I read one of Harvey’s posts, there’s a distinct air of mellow yellow that permeates the ether net.
I get the impression that Harvey may be harboring a secret so vile, so insidiously genius, that its affects have gradually and completely disarmed the IMAO staff.
…Filthy Hippie or Liberal Monkey, you all know what to do…
Classic. Man, the things you learn from reading the web. [citation? what citation?]
the first thing you have to ask is whether you care. And i dont mean about the pot. He can swim really well, whoopee! His 15 minutes is quickly expiring and in the not too distant future, the question will be; Michael who?
The “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy is for a guy in the army named Dick Smoker only. The rest of us are ok…
Frank on Felps…Phrank on Phelps.
I got nuttin.
Here’s a normal brain… (birds singing)
Here’s ussjimmycarter’s brain on smoke… (odd sounds)
Here’s ussjimmycarter’s brain on Hillary… (Oooo Aaaaah Oooo Aaaaah Oooo Aaaaah Oooo Aaaaah)
I don’t think you really have to “do” anything do you? I think just having a policy is what most govt agencies do.
Maybe you should test on a curve.
when I read that phelps was the illegitimate son of aquaman I got excited and almost bonked my head into some stimulus package spilling out into the streets here. Does that make sense? of course not, but I just had to note that I am stuck on aquaman.
His name is Frank. He hates it when anyone calls him Frankly.
The O also admitted to dancing with mj in his younger days – and unlike another Dem, actually inhaled! Perhaps his rotten, stinking, socialist, straight-to-he!!-in-a-handbag agendas are proof that there are negative consequences to faulty decisions made even in youth. At least Phelps does not hold the future of America around his neck.
Harvey is a guy who occasionally pretends to be a duck that offers self-help advice…and people are surprised he might be high? Umm…okay.
Pot-smoking doesn’t cause liberalism. They don’t inhale, remember?
#19-
it’s a given; what’s there to damage?
Just two words:
Hill arious.
“Pot-smoking doesn’t cause liberalism. They don’t inhale, remember?”
No, it’s DOWNERS that cause liberalism.
Admit it, Frank. You’re not “dealing” with “Harvey’s” test results because “Harvey” is simply one of your “personalities”. You’ve got to stop living in denial.
P.S. the Basil personality is a little more convincing, with its own blog and all.
If only Harvey or Space Monkey had blogs…
For example, did you guys know that pot smoke is the only kind of inhalant that isn’t bad for you, despite it being hot burnt particles containing God-knows-what beside THC? Apparently, it’s true. Especially when’s it’s filtered through water!
But drinking the bong water defeats all the good you get from smoking.
I’m probably in the minority but I have never been a partaker of mind altering substances. That said I find it hypocritical, incredibly hypocritical for most people to go into hysterics of this. If Phelps got drunk, or decided to take up smoking or serial impregnation of nubile college co-eds there might be some publicity and denouncement, but not on this scale.
While I know that drug abuse is against the law, I also know that a great many people have indulged in this activity in the last 50 years. I doubt if folks were honest you could find 20% of people who have never, really never, smoked a joint or took pills or what ever else one does with drugs (I really am an innocent in this, I don’t even know the terminology).
I guess I really believe in the old scriptural account of Jesus and the woman taken in adultery….you know let the person who is without sin cast the first stone. I’ll bet the entire news media would have to remain silent for a really long time.
Not that I excuse bad behavior, but to hold someone to a higher standard than you hold yourself is the height of hypocrisy.
Pio’s Girl~ Downers don’t cause liberalism. Lack of active brain cells causes liberalism.
What should Michael Phelps do now?
Well, because I’m shy and bashful, I propose that Michael Phelps take much of his $50M and throw it into a nationwide campaign to finally decriminalize pot smoking. He’s got a huge (young) audience; he’s an international hero; he has a massive platform. Instead of an apology, embrace the weed. Lead the charge; bring all of America’s yuts (and bald-top hippies with pony tails) into your fold. Roll one up and pass it around, baby! You’ve found your cause!
Or, not. Keep apologizing, red-faced in public, wear a shit-eating grin, and shamble back to your award-winning lifestyle. Don’t take a stand either way.
Have another toke; you can always blame your non-stand on marijuana-induced amotivational syndrome..
The more marijuana liberals smoke the less they vote. It’s simple, legalize marijuana and flood blue states with the stuff and we’ll have the country back in no time.
I’ve always wondered if we were handling the whole drug culture incorrectly. Maybe it should all be legalized and free. Eventually all the junkies would overdose, those smart enough to stay off the poison would be left and we could all live happier, healthier, less dangerous lives.
I don’t know how that stacks up in the Christian perspective but one of the great things about that is we are all free to CHOOSE. One of the most fundamental gifts we have been blessed with.
The real crime here is that a swimmer can win so many more medals at a single Olympics than athletes from other sports. Listening to the idiot announcers salivate over Phelps made me turn off the tube a few times. OK, so he has 14 gold medals and two bronze. Does that really make him a better athlete than one from another sport? He has one skill. He moves quickly through water.
There is a real lesson to be learned from Michael Phelp’s PR nightmare. If you are going to break a rule, any rule, choose your company wisely. Your company will always get you in trouble, unless of course you are a liberal democrat politician.
seanmahair-
I’ve thought about that for years. They have free will as a gift…if the addicts want to trade it for a high, then they really should have access to all the smack & crack they want. Heck, I’d urge the social programs that supply them with fresh needles & methadone to give them pure, uncut black tar heroin pre-loaded in the syringes.
I know it’s not a nice attitude to have, but I’d rather seem them go away than to keep finding used needles & makeshift crack pipes where my kids play…
Seanmahair #29, ITA. It’s definitely time to start thinning the herd. Too bad we didn’t do it when we had the chance.
The problem is that with the Dems in charge of everything now, WE the decent, hard-working, taxpaying, law-abiding citizens are the ones about to be thinned.
The drug addicts and law-breakers, meanwhile, r in ur nu Kab’net…spnding r munny.