A monkey in north Texas was caught on tape robbing a store. Even worse, it apparently had a human accomplice. That means we now have to worry about human/monkey collaboration. Also, there was a large, mysterious impact to Jupiter. I don’t know if the two are related, but what’s the odds of two odds things happening like this and they aren’t?
Texas Monkeys. I hate Texas Monkeys.
It could be worse. The monkeys could fly.
It’s a well known fact that monkeys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. Or is that girls? I don’t recall.
From the classic Peter Sellars movie, The Return of the Pink Panther…
Blind Beggar: I am a musician and the monkey is a businessman. He doesn’t tell me what to play, and I don’t tell him what to do with his money.
Go to the website and look at the still on the right hand side. The one with the circular highlight. Does that circle remind you of a certain planet, hmmmmmm? Oh I think we are on to something here. I think monkeys are going on a theiving spree and shooting their spoils to Jupiter, hence the impact. Once they’re done, they’re going to colonize it and come back and attack Earth. Mark my words. Prepare for war against Jupiter monkees……and I’m sure Ron Paul is involved in this somehow.
…or Jupiter monkeys, either way. Mickey Dolenz always did seem a little shady.
In 2012, the last year of the Mayan calendar, monkeys will rain from the sky, eat your eye balls, and vote for Obama.
Book it.
MarkoMancuso, they did that in 08.
Hmm Jupiter monkeys robbing Texas stores, dogs and cats sleeping together, and a disgraceful muslem girly thrower in the White House. Must be a sign from God, that he wants us to launch rockets from dinosaurs toward democommies. And eat cheese.
He’s going to use the plants to build robotic missles, that he’ll control with his mind to blow up Jupiter.
Think about it, while we’re wasting our time nuking the moon, monkeys will destroy the largest planet in the solar system. Then god will bitch slap us for being sissies and give domination to all life on Earth to monkeys.
Plenty
How ’bout we put dinosaur robots IN the rockets we shoot from dinosaurs? What monkey or Democrat could stand up that? Or is that too many dinosaurs?
but what’s the odds of two odds things happening like this and they aren’t?
Now that’s good paranoia.
In case you think I’m being sarcastic, nope.
My personal philosophy is to be paranoid while worrying that I might not be paranoid enough.
I figure you don’t have that problem.
The monkeys are coming! The monkeys are coming! Time to take a stand against the impending monkey invasion army of DOOM!!!!
Plentyobailouts said:
They didn’t eat my eye balls.
Two hours and nobody has said, “Forget Jupiter. Don’t let the monkeys near Uranus!”??
Chuck – Dinosaur robots?!?! Are you MAD! They can control them with their MINDS, you know! They’ll have them turned on us faster than you can say, “Eat hot dinosaur robot lead you primitive Jupiter dwelling usurpers!” …….probably a LOT faster.
There’s nothing to worry about. It’s all just a big coincidence, these things happen all the time, in fact almost every day similar incidents occur….and have throughout history. Although not always to the planet Jupiter nor is the criminal always a monkey with a human assistant….but otherwise these things are quite common. However if you’re really still concerned we can always assign a Coincidence Czar to conduct a full government investigation for just a few millions of dollars.
The impact spot on Jupiter is obviously from George Bush’s economy crashing into it
cjtony97
I forgot all about that. Just like mind controlling monkeys to screw up my plan.
there was a large, mysterious impact to Jupiter.
That was done by Obama to distract everyone from health care and the economy.
It seems we must also worry about the lesser developed primates
programming our computers.
So there I was….happily watching the “History” channel last nite.. enjoying a very upbeat show on the 10 most likely things to kill all the humans on the planet…. ya know just your basic top 10 show… complete with drum roll on to numero uno….. and monkeys werent on the “list”. Which only PROVES that the government doesnt want us to know about the evul monkey genetic experiments that escaped and are now OBVIOUSLY breeding & teaching other monkeys, who will eventually rise up and wipe us out. Oh the humanity … (or lack thereof) ….
and on a side note…. Number one threat most likely to kill 99.99% of humans.. was is Nukes? Was it asteroids hitting us? Was it Bio/ Chem War? Was it seismologic activity? NO ….. IT WAS MAN MADE CLIMATE CHANGE!….which means we really dont have to worry about that… cause thats the one “they” want us to focus on.. So stay focused! All evul genetically altered monkeys who want to kill ALL of humanity MUST DIE!
incidents of concern : Pelosi elected speaker of the house , everything that has come out of congress in the last year, the fly that just landed in my glass of water , THE OBAMA being elected president, that casserole my wife made yesterday. all of these have turned my stomach
“The minkey is breaking the luh.”( hat tip 4GEJ)>>> Regarding monkeys and Jupiter: Jupiterians were at war with the Saturnian Surrender Monkeys many moons ago. The Jupiterians NUKED the Saturnian Surrender Monkeys’ home moon of Mythra, reducing it to the dust that now makes up the rings of Saturn. The Saturnian Surrender Monkeys vacated Saturn for Uranus, where they defiantly throw poo in the direction of Jupiter.Smaller asteroids are actually fossilized Saturnian Monkey poo flung in Jupiter’s general direction.>>>There remains the possibility that the Saturnian Surrender Monkeys have bought some of Kim Jong Il Nukes and have launched a surprise attack on Jupiter,thus the black spot on Jupiter.
With all the fuss about the eclipse, wasn’t anyone watching Jupiter?
What else do you suppose they missed?
Darn monkeys!
Simply put, the jupitar event is a harbinger of bigger monkeying around to come, for instance, it is my birthday today, and the planets are resounding with reverberations and vibrations and monkeys everywhere are dancing in anticipation of further mischef they can cause. Just you wait all you Frank J. fans. Monkeys are circling the planet with all kinds of evil intentions !
island girl #25
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
You look like a monkey
And you smell like one too
(neener neener neener)
By 2012 ACORN will have all Monkeys registered to vote and Obama will win re-election in a landslide over Mitt Romney who will only win Utah. The world ends shortly after and O never get’s to implement his destruction of America…
ussjc might be right , after all the Myan calender ends on Dec 23 2012