Senator Max Baucus (D-MT):
“It’s just so wonderful to hear him speak, it’s like a symphony”
Yeah… that’s ONE analogy. Let’s try some more.
Listening to Obama speak is like…
… that eternally long half-second between when you realize you’re going to hit the car in front of you, and the first musical tinklings of glass & metal.
… accidentally hitting “delete”, then accidentally hitting “yes” on the “are you sure?” dialog box.
… pouring milk on your cereal and watching earwigs float to the top.
… passing an exit, rounding a curve, and joining a 12-mile traffic jam.
… fumbling for a light switch and finding a wall socket
… hearing that creaking, ripping sound a tree branch makes as it separates from the trunk prior to coming through your roof.
… a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced..
… noticing the empty toilet paper roll before standing up instead of before sitting down.
… dropping a butcher knife, but keeping it from hitting the floor with a deftly-executed blade-first catch.
… hearing that awful tearing sound that inevitably accompanies stuffing 10 pounds of arrogant into a 5 pound bag.
… watching the First Lady serve soup to homeless people while wearing $540 shoes.
… listening to something with angry German facial hair… not sure what, exactly…
What’s it like for you?
this is one of those far leftist clowns who sees the world through obamas pubic hairs
It’s very much like listening to Tiny Tim sing Tiptoe Through the Tulips.
It’s like listening to a hot chick fart.
It is fingernails scratched across the ‘Grade-Obama’s-First-Six-Months’ chalkboard.>>> It is the sound of mice scurrying in your attic as you wish you could sleep.>>> It is the Emergency Broadcast System signal coming on as the Fred Thompson Radio Program goes into the Lightning Round.>>> It is a repeating loop of Ethyl Merman’s Greatest Hits.
Oh man this is excellent. The post, not Obama. Wish I could give more than 5 stars. Surprised not more commenters though.
Listening to Obama is … “like driving tiny little nails…into my eyes.”
ROFL #3…and #1: Ewwwww! But funny… 😉
Listening to Obama is like realizing that I can no longer say I lived my life with no regrets.
…like biting into a chocolate expecting caramel and getting that gross cherry whip nougat crap.
…riding a skateboard down a hill – taking the perfect line – then hitting a little rock…well, you get the idea.
…like hearing mayor daley doing a bad preacher impression
…like hearing the soft scratching of a branch on the outside of your tent late at night…before you find out it’s a bear.
…like roasting a marshmallow, seeing it catch fire – ever so briefly because you had the good sense to shake the stick it was on. then you see it fly off the stick and land on your girlfriends bare leg…the scream is deafening.
It’s also much like listening to Hugo Chaves, Daniel Ortega, or Fidel Castro….but without having to understand Spanish. However mercifully it’s not as irritating as listening to Baucus.
…like when you hear the detective on the telephone say “The calls are coming from inside the house!”
…passing gas and suddenly noticing that it’s not just gas that’s coming out.
Getting out of bed in the middle of the night and feeling something firm then squishy, beneath your foot , and realizing that it’s summertime in Louisiana and it’s lizard season in your house. (I guess you had to be here).
Listening to Obama speak…
It’s like opening up my wallet in the winds of a Category 5 hurricane.
And then handing my sheep over to to Max Baucus and witnessing the cacophony of “BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” all night long. (And senator, “BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” means “No.”)
So is Baucus the new Obama girl? Sounds like his panties are a little moist today.
Listening to O’vomit speak is like watching a rerun of Big Brother over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over……………..again.
It is also how I imagine Satan would talk, Harvard educated, but folksy if need be. After all he is all things to all people “the one” ” the messiah” our last and only hope for change or change for hope of chope for hange or…………
Whitehouse. gov. HERE I AM. Member of the vicious mob.
Oh and O’vomit if you want the people responsible for this mess to “Shut Up” I suggest you put a muzzle on Pelosi, Reid, Shumer, Dodds, Frank, and the rest of the Demons on your payroll. They got us into this mess so maybe they all ought to SHUT UP. I’d vote for that.
Listening to Obama speak is like….
listening to a book on tape when the narrator has lost the plot.
Listening to obama speak is like walking through your yard barefoot and finding a “present” your neighbor’s dog left for you. Or needing to go to the grocery store and realizing your keys are in your husband’s car and he’s at work.
Or jamming flaming knives covered with hepatitis into your eardrums.
Going on a blind date with a hippy.
Listening to Obama speak is like…
experiencing a stench in my ears.
hearing “Fore!” just prior to the Titleist ricocheting off your head.
the 2:00 AM phone call from a drunken ex.
the 2:00 AM phone call from an ex lover advising you to seek penicillin.
OK, since Frnak brought Megadeth up earlier & Baucus thinks the sound of Obambi’s voice is like a symphony, I submit these lyrics:
Symphony Of Destruction
You take a mortal man,
And put him in control
Watch him become a god
Watch peoples heads a’roll
A’roll…
[chorus:]
Just like the Pied Piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes
Swaying to the Symphony …
Of Destruction
Acting like a robot
Its metal brain corrodes
You try to take its pulse
Before the head explodes
Explodes…
[Chorus]
The earth starts to rumble
World powers fall
A’warring for the heavens
A peaceful man stands tall
Tall…
It’s just like that moment when you realize that the milk you just chugged is sour!
Not for nothing do they call him O’Vomit.
Listening to THE OBAMA speak is like performing a vasectomy on yourself
Like waking up on January 21st and realizing that 48% of registered voters are idiots (and about 3% only exist on paper…specifically the paper that lists Democrat voters)
Like turning to a woman at the park and saying “Jeese look at that little tub ‘o lard!” just before said tub of lard runs up to the woman saying “Mommy.”
Turning on your computer to put the finishing touches on that big project due tomorrow before you go to bed and seeing a blue screen with the words “Unable to find drive0”
…like listening to a long, enthusiastic, first attempt at playing the bag-pipes.
listening to Obama speak:
….is like waking up with a massive hangover and rolling over to see Helen Thomas
….is like the first crack when you are walking across an Iced over lake in the spring.
….is like having a proctologist who wears a size 16 pinky ring.
….is like the moment in between Hearing a train and realizing that there isn’t train tracks near your house for 50 miles, and the moment when you realize that it’s a tornado about to hit.
that’s about all I got right now
Listening to Obama speak is like getting an ice cream headache.
Eric said: listening to Obama speak is like waking up with a massive hangover and rolling over to see Helen Thomas— I’m afraid that would have to be my last moment on earth. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror after that!
“What’s It Like To Hear Obama Speak?”
It’s like having a red hot poker shoved in your ear.
having broken glass shoved up your a$$.
seeing Nancy Pelosi naked.
like getting food poisoning.
#23 waking next to Helen Thomas–#26 seeing Nasty Pelosi naked I’m not feeling well I’m going to take a blue and a red pill , go to sleep and try to forget the mental pictures you two have put in my head.
Oh, I don’t know…
…about like listening to Hillary cry.
…like listening to a Sunday preacher you want to pie face.
…like listening to some kids I grew up with strut around and brag (idiots).
…like having visions of exploding cantaloupes.
I guess I have it best, for me listening to Obama is like listening to Charlie Brown’s teacher.
…like being told you’re going to be getting a unicorn and instead it turns out to be a stray dog with a cardboard horn stapled to it’s head.
…like ordering a Stella Artois and getting a PBR.
…like being told to expect some moon-nuking and instead getting this blog.
Listening to Obama speak …
– is like having every hair on your body plucked out one ‘Let me be clear’ at a time.
– is like forgetting what sound the letter ‘z’ makes. Oh, the hissing.
– is like monitoring a class in the Department of Caucasians Suck Studies.
– is like having your mother remarry an a$$hole who drinks away her savings, knocks her around, and tells the cops that you did it.
– is like driving 562 miles to a far away city on a Saturday, parking it, and leaving the lights on, with the needle on ‘E’ and one tire flat, getting it towed to ‘the best place in town’ and finding out that your transmission needs to be rebuilt before your car will go into any gear but Reverse. True story, and amazingly allegorical.
…just the exact opposite of laughing at Socrates.
“What’s It Like To Hear Obama Speak?”
it’s like having an M80 shoved up your rear.
sliding down a slide made of rusty razor blades.
getting shocked on the nads by a Tazer.
Via FreedomWorks:
…like huddling in a foxhole, waiting for the mortar round to hit.
…ahh, to be old, gay and in love. Go get ’em Maxxy.
…is like dropping the hammer of your 1911 on a home invader and hearing “click”
…is like finding out Miss August is Nancy Pelosi and Miss September is Barney Frank
…that your daughter’s new after-school tutor is Bill Clinton
…like discovering the entire Justice League was wiped out except for Aquaman
“What’s It Like To Hear Obama Speak?”
is like going to strip club and seeing Rosie O’Donald swinging from the pole.
a lap dance from Barney Frank.
What’s it like to hear Obama Speak?
With teleprompter: Saruman.
Without teleprompter:
“Wicked (uh) masster!” it hissed. “Wicked masster (uh) cheats us; cheats Smeagol, gollum. He musstn’t (uh) go that (uh) way. He musstn’t (uh) hurt Preciouss. Give it to Smeagol, (uh) yess, give it to us! (As I [uh] said before) Give it to uss!”
It is the melodious sound of a printing press printing a trillion one dollar bills.
I think he is dong some sort of Jedi mind control thing with how he accents the wrong syllables and pauses in the wrong places.
listening to O is worse than scrunching up all tense like and covering your ears and running out of the room when the chaulk SCHREECHES against the black I mean honkyboard – oh ! I mean the learning moment clunker presentation er, the official Obama educational learning thingy that is outfitted with 3 D displaying the one’s visage in neon lights smiling big teeth “hahahahaha you are now all my peons and you all will bow down to me and kiss my ring”. Now available at your local bodaga for $49.95 plus Fed, State and Local Tax.
…is like being teleported back time and listening to Hitlers speeches before WWII.
Between IH8Socialists and Eric, my minds eye is blind, and I am checkinginto belview.
Listening to the classless disgrace speak is like getting your genitalia caught in a door.
like burning your nose on the french frier.
like sandpaper on the toilet roll.
like any democrat whining.
Its like the sound the flushing toilet makes
as you the wallet that fell out of your back pocket begins its swim to the Gulf of Mexico.
…The deafening screams of French soldiers surrendering to any agressor to “DON”T SHOOT! WE ARE FRENCH!”, as they drop their weapons and wave white flags. (however they say that in french)
Oh wait, Obama already did that. (in english)
Listen to Obama? One of the few things that makes me glad of a profound hearing loss. For a short while I read transcripts of his speeches. The I realised how many words he used to say nothing so now if there is a transcript of his latest speech I go look at the monster truck rally or something else far more intelligent that that pencil necked meathead.
There are worse things than deafness.
It’s the sound of impending doom. On the order of “Say, what’s a mountain goat doing way up here in a cloudbank?”
like hearing the cat barfing in on your brand new couch…
like watching Max Baucus suck Obama’s . . .
There’s really no need to listen to Obama speak; he says nothing better than anyone else in my lifetime. So, if you just tune into network news the following day, they’ll give you the liberal translation as to what he meant to say, using his carefully parsed words from a trained lawyer.
Listening to THE OBAMA speak is like listening to a socialist a$$hole bent on destroying the constitution
Listening to Obama speak is like:
Being strapped into the apperatus from “A Clockwork Orange” and being forced to view nude photos of Nancy Pelosi, Janet Reno and Rosie O’Donnal.
Being trapped in a 6′ x 6′ room with Michael Moore an hour after he’s returned from an all-you-can-eat Mexican food and Beer buffet.
Pronouncing that you are buying the drinks not knowing that Ted Kennedy is standing behind you.
Having to watch a marathon of “The View”.
Being trapped on a small island with Keith Olberman.
… is like listening to my liberal Preacher niece scold me for forwarding these Obama jokes to her…
Yesterday I violated one ot the ten cardinal rules of common sense, such as “don’t run with a scissors in your hand” and “don’t look at the sun without eye protection”. And so, beginning to climb a 14 foot ladder on which I had placed a hammer on the very top, I heard a clunk sound and then felt the sharp nail removal end embed in the top of my head. Momentarily stunned, and then feeling and seeing blood oozing from my scalp I realized my error.
Thinking back, I would rather have it all happen again today then to listen to Obama Speak.
It’s like giving yourself a lobotomy with a rusty cheese grater.
In all fairness, the shoes probably didn’t embarass the “needy” at all considering what nice cell phones they have.
Silhouette you forgot about the nice new Caddy Escaliades to go with those nice cell phones the needy welfare people have.
Like the sound of 8 new executive jets carrying members of congress where ever the h*ll they want to go so they don’t have to risk interacting with the smelly, don’t-know-what’s-good-for-them public on a commercial flight.
Max Baucus became a Senator when I was a wee lad in Billings, Montana. What an insufferable douche he has been for lo, these 35 or so years. What a fargin’ travesty our Senate has become, all thanks to the 17th(?) Amendment which eliminated the republican (small R) method of actually picking the right person for the job. Democracy is ultimately fatal. The republic is too hard for most people, but it is our best hope.
Listening to Obama is like listening to a robot broadcasting a tennis match between two robots.
“….he’s looking left…now he’s looking right…anbd now he suddenly turns left again..wait…it’s right again…”
Listening to Obama is like having to kiss Rosie O’Donnell.
Hearing Obama speak is like attending a string quartet recital announced as one of Beethoven’s Rasumovsky quartets, the Dvorak “American” quartet, and the Haydn “Rider” quartet, only to discover that the program has been changed to “music” Benjamin Britten, Arnold Schoenberg, and Elliott Carter
Hearing Obama speak is the perfect example of what Macbeth meant in Act 5, Scene 5, lines 26 to 28
http://www.enotes.com/shakespeare-quotes/tomorrow-tomorrow-tomorrow
like being on the school bus on your way home after you first day of kindergarten, and then realizing that you’re on the wrong bus and you don’t know how to get home.
“What’s It Like To Hear Obama Speak?”
it’s like having a hornets nest land on your head.
Listening to Obama speak is to the ears what Bigfoot’s fart is to the nose.
I take my hat off to all of you creative folks out there and your clever responses to “what is listening to Obama like”. I do not have the intestinal fortititude to watch and or listen to him. From the first moment I tried he appeared to me to be arrogant and ignorant. A bad actor in a poorly written political thriller.
Listening to that useless windbag, is like waking up to Helen Thomas giving you a hummer……. @#%#^!…. I’m gonna HURL!!!
Listening to Obama is like having to fart really bad at the bar. You figure if you let one go with other people around you can’t be singled out as the culprit. So you relax just enough to let one go and immediately realize you crapped your pants.
Listening to Obama is like . . .
I dunno, I don’t!!
Listening to Obama is like being Waspinator from Beast Wars.
Like playing Russian roulette and having to go first, with one empty chamber, while both of you know BHO will point the gun at you when it’s his turn.