You’re in the desert.
It’s hot, the sun’s glare on the sand is blinding. When the wind whips up, the sand stings.
You’re in the desert.
You weren’t always in the desert. And you want to find your way out. But for the moment, you’ve accepted that you’re in the desert.
You were thirsty earlier. You still are, but now, you’re also hungry.
Up ahead, you see a figure in the distance. You blink, wipe the sand from your eyes to make sure you are seeing something, and not experiencing a mirage.
It’s real.
You pick up the pace and head towards the figure.
Now, you see that it’s not one figure, but two.
You’re nearer now, clearly making out the two figures. Each is sitting at a table, with an assortment of items in front.
As you approach, each person smiles and rises, beckoning you closer.
You walk up, and with a parched voice, say the only two words you can manage to utter: “Water. Food.”
The person on the right nods, and offers you two items from his table: dry white toast, and a cup of water.
The person on the left offers you a rock.
You look back at the dry white toast and cup of water, then at the rock.
You make your decision, drinking half the cup of water immediately, then devouring the toast, washing it down with the rest of the water.
“I’ve got more of the same,” the person on the right says.
“I got rocks,” the person on the left says.
You continue your trek through the desert, accompanied now by the person on the right with more dry white toast and water, and the person on the left with rocks.
As your thirst and hunger return, you accept the dry white toast and drink the water, ignoring the rocks.
But you keep looking. Somewhere, you know you’ll find someone with better food … and a map out of the desert.
And that is why I will vote for a Republican that I really don’t want. That Republican is still a huckuva lot better than the Democrat, but not what I’m looking for. And, yes, I will keep looking.
Makes sense to me. I ordered steak, but if the best I can get is toast, I’ll take it. But just to keep things fair, I’d ask the toast guy what the heck happened to my steak, and remind him that the patrons will be ordering steak again the next go around.
Is this a Meg Whitman plug? If it is, I dinna care. I’d rather have ta RINO we can kill 6 years from now than the “let me reflect on it…reflect on it…reflect on it…reflect on it…”asshole Dem Jerry Brown who should’ve died with Spiro Agnew when mother nature called.
I know it’s off topic, but how’s SarahK doing? She must be in limbo right now. I hope she’s managing okay, despite Frank being really kinda Frank and all. Frank, you can be like a library filled with silverfish, and I know, that seems kinda funny to us now, but damn, you gotta come off more like a horrible Man-O-War jellyfish. Just to keep us happy out here.
Heh.
Bread, water, and hope.
That’ll do for starters.
I’m more inclined to take the rock and use it to club both of them senseless. Take the water and toast and find my own way out of the damn desert.
OK, but here’s the thing: Let’s say there’s a third guy, who has the steak, but no water. Now, bread-and-water guy says, “Before you think about the rock guy, who would you pick of steak guy and me? Because if you say him, I’m going to give my water to the rock guy.” And let’s also say that there’ a bunch more people with you in the desert, and some of them might want the bread and water, and if the rock guy gets the water, all the other people will be ticked at you.
At which point it occurs to me at least, that steak guy is the right choice. I might die of thirst, but I might not, and *dying of thirst is honestly better than living on bread and water.*
End of metaphor. I think that liberalism is wrong, incompetent, and leads to failure. I think that the two best ways to get rid of liberalism are A) establish conservatism and watch it succeed, and 2) establish liberalism and watch it fail. Let’s run hard-right wingers, be they witches or dirty-joke forwarders. If they win, we win. If they lose, liberals win, tank the country, we build a new one, and anyone who suggests liberalism for it is reminded of how stupid they are. And we win.
[In the story, there were only two people. No one had steak. You knew there was steak, but you only had bread/water vs rocks.
Now, if there was a third person with steak but no water, I’d opt for bread/water, until I was out of the desert. Then, later, I’m eating steak, remembering your perishing from thirst in the desert. “Poor dumb bastard,” I’ll say. Affectionately, I’ll say it. But I’ll be alive to say it. While I’m eating my steak. And the rock and bread/water people will be living in a box on the sidewalk.
Oh, by the way, I am curious as to which race you were applying this metaphor. Odds are, it’s not the one (or two maybe) that inspired this. – B.]
To make the metaphor honest the rock guy claims his rocks are cinnamon toast and banana milkshakes. Which sounds good but when you say “ok I’ll take some cinnamon toast and banana milkshakes” he hits you in the head with the rock and blames the bread and water guy.
I wasn’t referring to any race in particular, but to the general choice of True Conservative, RINO, and liberal. I’m saying that supporting the TrueCon to the bitter end is a preferable position to me than supporting the RINO just to stop the liberal. I’d rather let the liberal win, and fail, so as to get a TrueCon next time.
Ugh Basil, I feel the same way you do. In this election in particular it is vital to get the gavel out of Pelosi’s and hopefully Reid’s hands that I will vote for the zombie Stalin if I am sure it would caucus with the Republicans.
But I am so (censored) tired of choosing between a crap sandwich and a kick to the balls every time I enter the voting booth. If we continue to accept the electing progressive lite Republicans to avoid electing the worse Democrat progressive/closet Commie, how long until the country is so messed up that there is no path available that does not involve utter collapse and/or bloodshed?
Screw it – Chthulu/Satan 2012 – When you are tired of voting for the lesser evil.
That would be a hard choice in the voting booth Chthulu/Satan Vs. Dopey-Changey/Bozo.
The Chthulu/Satan ticket has a lot going for it when compared to the Obama administration.
So to complete the metaphor, does the guy with the rocks bugger you at some point during your trek through the desert? That would like totally make sense to me if it did…
In the context of any single election, certainly a flawed republican is better than a democrat. But he wisdom of our system is that no single election really detemines much of anything I’m happier with failing president Obama than any president McCain, because I think it’s more likely that the next president will be Palin.
But, to each their own.
Hey, I just came up with a third option. Take the rock from the rock guy and then beat him over the head with it. Then, with the rock guy gone and the toast guy properly scared, take the toast and water from the toast guy. Tell the toast guy that your trip through the desert is partly a quest for an even bigger rock to beat him with should his demeanor drift from anything other than compliant.
Why would I ever go to the desert?
#5 sgtrelic…here here !!! Bravo.
just keep in mind when you’re choosing which republican will get to the finals– if it weren’t for McClown, Big Zero wouldn’t have been remembered. If it weren’t for Bush 43, we wouldn’t have had nothing but commie senators to choose from.
The point I’m trying to make is you get to choose between evils because you let them be the only choices BY VOTING FOR THEM.
[Obama can only be blamed on the 52% that voted for him. McCain can only be blamed on those that voted for him in the primary. I didn’t vote for McCain in the 2008 primary, but I did in the November election. But only because he was the best of the lot on that ballot.
We must have better candidates winning in the primaries. And by better, I mean actual conservatives, not RINOs. But, if in November, the only choice is RINO or Democrat, I’ll hold my nose and vote for the RINO. Bread and water is better to eat than rocks, after all.
The problem that most aren’t catching is that “moderates” are the often guilty of not supporting conservatives in the general election. Witness the Delaware Senate race this year. If Castle moderates supported O’Donnell instead of acting like tittie babies, Delaware would be a lock for the GOP in November. – B.]
That was deep.
I was expecting a punchline where you took the rock and bashed some skulls.
[That’s what the comments are for! – B.]
“You continue your trek through the desert, accompanied now by the person on the right with more dry white toast and water, and the person on the left with rocks.”
I don’t mind bringing toast boy along, but why not leave rock boy behind to starve? I get the metaphor for California: toast boy is Whitman and rock boy is Brown, and yeah, I’m voting for Whitman, for exactly the reasons you describe. Can’t I let Brown starve? Toast boy can be taught, but rock boy will never be any damn good.
See, I’d drink the water and throw the toast at rock guy.
But I’m kind of a jerk.
Just ask anybody.
If Communists were in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 50 years there’d be a shortage of sand.
Good parable, Basil!
All-around smart-guy and talented writer John Kranz at ThreeSources adds to the story here: http://tinyurl.com/26hebb4. He has an interesting twist on the idea. Pay him a visit and a compliment, before the toast boy dies.
I think I’m with Keith. Additionally, I think rock boy is anti-gun (translation: target). He’s dead weight in too many ways. Leave him behind but take his rocks if you forgot your gun.
Today I heard the mailman on my porch. I’ve had the same mailman, Frank for 20 years. He’s a great guy – friendly, good sense of humor, takes good care of everybody on the block, spends extra time chatting with the elderly neighbors. I went out to take the mail from him and we discussed the terrible rain storm yesterday. He told me that the shopping center a few blocks away was under water again; it was flooded out a few years ago and all the stores had massive damage and were closed for months. He told me the same thing happened again yesterday – that the Acme & the McDonalds were completely under water. Then as he started to walk away, he gave me a funny look and said sarcastically “I think Sarah Palin did it”. I looked down at the mail and saw that among my usual pile of junk mail, there was a mailing with Sarah’s name on it. Although this isn’t a parable, it sure felt like I was hit with a rock.
Just tell him Bush did it all…unionized government employs will buy into that explanation, it’s in their contract.
I defer to Blade Runner: Retire the skin jobs.
——————————————————————————–
Holden: You’re in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down…
Leon: What one?
Holden: What?
Leon: What desert?
Holden: It doesn’t make any difference what desert, it’s completely hypothetical.
Leon: But, how come I’d be there?
Holden: Maybe you’re fed up. Maybe you want to be by yourself. Who knows? You look down and see a tortoise, Leon. It’s crawling toward you…
Leon: Tortoise? What’s that?
Holden: [irritated by Leon’s interruptions] You know what a turtle is?
Leon: Of course!
Holden: Same thing.
Leon: I’ve never seen a turtle… But I understand what you mean.
Holden: You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back, Leon.
Leon: Do you make up these questions, Mr. Holden? Or do they write ’em down for you?
Holden: The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping.
Leon: [angry at the suggestion] What do you mean, I’m not helping?
Holden: I mean: you’re not helping! Why is that, Leon?
[Leon has become visibly shaken]
Holden: They’re just questions, Leon. In answer to your query, they’re written down for me. It’s a test, designed to provoke an emotional response… Shall we continue?
Don’t forget the ‘post turtle’!
http://www.imao.us/archives/010144.html