Sarah and Bristol Palin are trademarking their names. This is a smart idea. If Sarah Palin got a nickel every time some liberal screeched about her, she’d be the fifth largest economy in the world.
It’s got me thinking, though: Should I trademark my name? Like, if someone somewhere else on the internet says, “I’m Frank J. I like hippies. And we should be friends with the moon,” would I have any legal recourse? Probably not now, but if my name was trademarked that person would be sent to prison and I would get a million dollars. Also, maybe I should trademark nuking the moon. That way if one day the moon gets nuked, anyone who looks at it will have to pay me cash money. And I could trademark other things as well. Like anytime a dinosaur launches a rocket and it kills a terrorist, I should get money.
In conclusion, people should send me money.

Well, you certainly better get Princess Buttercup trademarked. We can’t have the future leader of the free world unprotected!
I was going to send you some money but how do I know you are the real FrankJ? You are not trademarked so I can’t be sure.
You should totally trademark the moon-nuking; it’s bad enough Weekly World News already stole a moon-nuking shot and blamed it on China. They didn’t even get the story right.
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Frank J.® will Nuke The Moon® with Dinosaurs With Rocket Launchers®.
(Frank J., Nuke The Moon and Dinosaurs With Rocket Launchers are trademarks of Frank J. Flemmening)
I would also Trademark the MexiCannon and The Giant Firewall ideas. I think they are in the very near future!
Sorry, but I’m a middle class taxpayer…I have no extra money to send to you.
I’ve just trademarked the letter “A”. You and Sarah owe me. I might be convinced to grant limited use, were Nuke the Moon T-shirts to become available.
I just trademarked the word Nads. I expect to start earnin’ lots of dough as Buttercup grows and learns that nad punchin’ is great fun. Soon we shall be reading stories of the Nad Punchin’ Maniac girl named Buttercup in all the nation’s newspapers and magazines and it will be all over the internet and I will be like super rich!
I have offered to send you money if you send me a Nuke the Moon shirt. Are you daft or blind?
Better hurry Frank, I’m told Frnak J. Phlegmming has already been Trademarked.
Frank J. Lemming is right behind you Frank. Don’t let a Lemming steal the potential riches of Trademarking your name.
You can’t trademark, since I steal your best stuff fr Facebook status posts. I don’t want to have to pay you every time one of my friends is offended/thinks I’m clever.
As long as Dick Cheney doesn’t trademark his before I get a chance to release the “Dick Cheney Neti Pot”.
Since Donald Rumsfeld’s book is coming out soon, you should get “Rumsfeld Stranger” trademarked immediately.
If I had to give you a nickle every-time I stole one of your random thoughts for my Facebook status thingee, I’d probably owe you 95 cents.
How do we know you’re actually the real Frank J? Perhaps you should show us your birth certificate…umm, or have a government official tell us that even though they can’t find your birth certificate he’s sure that it exists…somewhere.
Just trademark the capital letter F.
Frank, I already have a trademark for the phrase “send me money’. So you must send me money. (Oh I just used that phrase twice so I will also send me money)