Preferred Methods for Deposing Dictators

So people in Egypt are trying to depose a dictator. That’s a tricky thing, but there are a few preferred methods for getting rid of pesky dictators.

PREFERRED METHODS OF DEPOSING DICTATORS

* Catapult.

* Fire him out of a cannon.

* Have a large gorilla pick him up and throw him out of the country.

* Use a giant slingshot. Can also try to hit some pigs with him if you want to pretend he’s an angry bird.

* Tie him to a rocket. Launch rocket.

* Catapult a cannon into the air which midair fires out the dictator.

* Catapult a cannon into the air which midair fires out a large gorilla which throws the dictator.

* Slingshot a catapult into the air which midair catapults a cannon which fires out a large gorilla which throws the dictator.

* Greyhound bus.

* Greyhound bus driven by a large gorilla.

Every time I see a gorilla flying through the air I think of freedom.

25 Comments

  1. Around here we just vote him out.

    But it would be fun to see a bus load of gorillas being catapulted out to sea with rocket attached to the roof and a dictator attached to the rocket.

    I think we can get that bill passed. It makes more sense than the healthcare law.

  2. I notice a marked “Catapults, Cannons and Gorillas” flavor in these methods, Frank. Since gorillas are an endangered species, I think we are better off summoning Fred Thompson, handing him a club and just let him loose. As soon as the dictator hears Fred is on his way with a club he’ll surely launch himself towards a crowd of gorillas using a catapult or a cannon, whichever is handy. That would be my advise to the “Dictator.”

  3. They could try a Boston Creme doughnut on a string, then put the string on a hat and dangle the doughnut in front of him. He’ll run until he gets to the country’s border and maybe even go a few hundred extra miles.

  4. The gorilla throws the rocket launcher to the dinosaur who catches it underhanded and whips off a quick snap shot to cut the rope of the catapault to launch the dictator high into the air where the recently cloned pterodactyl eats it one gulp MUNCH.

  5. Cr@p him out the back end of a pig. Getting him in a condition to BE cr@pped out the back end of a pig is the fun part. (Oops, did I just violate a civility rule, there? OK, then, just ask him to leave “pretty please” – and if that doesn’t work, ask him to leave “pretty please WITH SUGAR ON TOP.” Can’t fail with sugar on top.)

  6. 5of7: For Obama, it’s not a matter of whether a person is a dictator; it all depends on whether that dictator is within the US sphere of influence (bad). Neocolonialists don’t have a prob with dictators; they have a prob with American sponsored dictators.

    I’m a little fuzzy on the outcry about Mubarak in the US. He’s been around for more than a few years, which makes me wonder why our country is collectively doing the Captain Renault, “I’m shocked! Shocked to find that there’s a dictator in power there!”

    We could have put pressure on him earlier; however, he would have responded, “O.K., I’ll attack Israel.” On the other hand, if he did actually give into US pressure for reform, we would have witnessed what we’re seeing today, but at an earlier date.

    I’m not saying you’d want him as a neighbor, or even as a leader. I’m not saying good, bad, up, down or Aqua Buddha. All I’m saying is that we made a calculated choice. We chose the evil that we knew.

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