Essential Government Spending: Cowboy Poetry

If you’re wondering who is defending the weirdos at NPR and the strange idea they need federal funding, it’s Harry Reid! What weird, stupid thing is he saying now:

“The mean-spirited bill, H.R. 1, eliminates National Public Broadcasting. It eliminates the National Endowment of the Humanities, National Endowment of the Arts. These programs create jobs. The National Endowment of the Humanities is the reason we have in northern Nevada every January a cowboy poetry festival. Had that program not been around, the tens of thousands of people who come there every year would not exist.”

So is he saying without federal funds cowboy poetry won’t exist or that cowboy poets will die or that we’ll alter timeline by cutting federal funds and cowboy poets will cease to exist?

And what’s cowboy poetry?

Apparently, when we’re looking at our huge budget deficit, it’s just one of those things we can’t cut. The federal government can’t bear to go on without cowboy poetry. We’ll have to find something less essential than cowboy poetry to cut.

Oh wait, there nothing in the universe less essential than that… except maybe Harry Reid himself.

I have one last idea for spending: Build a giant catapult aimed at the ocean. Then we launch Harry Reid and all the other useless idiots spending out money on the most pointless things imaginable. It will quickly pay for itself.

44 Comments

  1. Look the two cultures are not compatible. Example you cant have a welfare state and low taxes they just cant co exist. Either both sides quickly begin pushing for some hardcore federalism or I don’t see how this wont turn into another civil war.

  2. As a cowboy, I can tell you no self respecting son of the land would do poetry. Well maybe a limerick or two.

    There once was a roper from bucket….

    I roped the cow, it kicked me.
    Yeah, that hurt.
    sqish!, ick.

    Ahhh poetry.

  3. Its amazing that dingey harry knew about a cowboy circle * in northern nuh vah duh, that no one else has ever heard of, yet he didn’t know of 105 billion dollars tucked away in the illegal duh bah muh care bill. What an SFB.

  4. Since I live in a “Cowboy” friendly area I have known several Cowboy Poets. They are entertaining and engaging, funny and thought provoking but they aren’t bellyed up to the public teat. These are independent individuals who don’t take money from the likes of National Liberal Radio.

    The only reason NPR has ever had anything at all on about Cowboy poets is two fold. One they can pretend they have something, small but there none the less, in common with the “Common Man”. Two they can make fun of all of us here in flyover country for our “quaint” entertainment. A more refined form than nasty, smelly Nascar-from the rarefied air of the mouthpiece of the Democratic Party.

  5. just sit back and imagine 10 gallon hats, spurs, chaps, a lot of leather, and guns – now toss in some beatnicks and stir – – – cowboy poetry

    how many ways can you rhyme “Git” and “Yee-HAW”

  6. What shall we do without it? What this tells me is that of the tens or hundreds of thousands of things that we pay for which we shouldn’t be paying for he just happened to pick something cheap and ridiculous. I’ll bet there are a heck of a lot more expensive AND ridiculous ones out there that we have no conception of.

  7. Cowboys don’t do poetry unless they are Brokeback Mountain ghey! Cowboys ride bulls with their balls tied up in a rope to irritate them even more! No self respecting cowboy would EVER do poetry! These “cowboys” are cityfied ghey Cowboys who like to wear Chaps with no pants on!

  8. Oh give me a home where conservatives roam
    Where the Libtards are thrown in the Bay
    Where seldom is heard
    A tele-prompted word
    And the skies are free of EPA

    Home, home on the range
    Where the NRA sponsors gun play
    Where seldom is heard
    A PC-censored word
    And the skies are free of TSA

  9. From the perverted pen of Peter Stampfel:

    Take me back to Random Canyon
    Where the griffin’s always riffin’
    And the unicorn is horny in the spring,
    Where the crystal coyote calls
    Over sleepy guarded walls
    And the wileless wombat wanders on the wing.

    Here on the mislocated mesa
    With my counterfeit contessa,
    Who is secretary for the local Grange,
    The psychedelic sage
    Sets the cattle in a rage,
    And the changing range is getting might strange.

    Here I’ll spend each golden year
    Watching all the cattle fear
    For no sight upon this earth evokes my charm,
    And the dragons fly by night,
    Though they very seldom bite,
    But if you mess with one, he’ll do you harm.

    I’m a Random Canyon fan,
    And I’ll mess with any man
    Who denies that Random Canyon is the best.
    You can find no canyon greater
    Either side of the equator.
    Random Canyon is the glory of the west.

    If Harry Reid wants to support writing like that, I’m on board.

  10. You are an idiot Frank J.. Have you ever listened to NPR?
    Probably not, most likely because you are uneducated, only watch Fox News, reality television and shop at Wal-Mart. Get a clue.

  11. Crap of all the days to have to work! My city is “The Cowboy Capitol of the World” Google that! No poets here just rodeos from Memorial day to Labor Day. Plenty o drunks and motorcycles but I have not seen the first poet. I could have raised the content quality but it looks like i
    got beat to all the punchlines.

  12. Informed Citizen wasn’t informed about first-time commenters getting filtered until they’re verified. And his first post is an ad hominem attack on Frank that got through! There’s a bit of irony there. Talk about clueless!

  13. Why is shopping at Wal Mart supposed to be an insult? It’s a rational decision for people of limited means. Wal Mart was the only place I could afford to shop (apart from the Cancer Society used goods store) during a lean period in my family’s life. Now that we have a bit more money, I see no reason to donate it to perpetuate the life-styles of people whose retail stores compete with Wal Mart for my business. There are more urgent and deserving charities who do get my money. Wal Mart exists because people need it. Personally, I am profoundly grateful for the power of a giant to purchase at deep discounts that can be passed on to folks like me who can’t (or choose not to) afford boutique prices for the same goods. Yay Wal Mart! Testify!

    Oh, yes, and Fox News? I have a doctorate, a measured IQ that is one point below genius, and I turned to Fox News because it was the only major news outlet offering balanced news rather than liberal propaganda. Our Troll is so deeply indoctrinated that he sees any opposing viewpoints as necessarily wrong, stupid, and motivated by narrow-minded bigotry — you know, just like his main-stream media keep telling him they are! Good boy! You have earned their permission to feel smug and superior.

    Embrace Diversity, [Mis]Informed Citizen! Treasure the Wal Mart shopper, the NRA member, and the Tea Party rebel – they are the future of America. Also, you might want to joing the Brotherhood of Bacon-Eating Bastards. Bacon will make you happier than Kool-Aid.

  14. i second the excitement over the troll! Its great to see “informedcitizen” on here because we dont have to go look at other websites to see idiotic irrelevant liberal comments! I have honestly tried to listen to NPR but it makes me fall asleep and vomit and laugh and cry all at the same time………what a mess! Id honestly rather eat snakes than listen to NPR and believe me ive had to eat some snakes in my time…Semper Fi.

  15. Ah the beauty of irony. Obviously “Informed Citizen” has little to no sense of humor and even less intelligence. NPR is the liberal, left wing, mouth piece of the Demoncratic Party. They haven’t had an objective piece on since………….well OK. They’re never had an objective report on.

    They couldn’t find objectivity with Sonar, OnStar, GPS, Laser Targeting, Google Map, a platoon of sherpas and a Peak-a-poo. They only know one way to report anything. They ask Obama what they should say and he tells them. If they can’t find him they ask Hillary and if all else fails Algore’s probably at home. No one else wants him in their town.

  16. So like if we de-fund NPR, is Harry Reid going to pass a law that we all have to listen to ghey Cowboy poetry on all channels every night from 7:00PM – 9:00PM. No exemptions. All movies channels and sports channels will now be broadcasting Cowboys spouting their wares…even during the SuperBowl!!!

    The Cow Polk rode in from the range
    He offered me a Polk in the rear
    I told him that his horse had an ugly mange
    and that I wasn’t a cowboy queer!

    Hey…I’m a cowboy poet and don’t know it…

  17. Brokeback Mountain had nothing to do with cowboys. It was about sheep boys. I have known some cowboy poets; good men with a love of drinking, loose women, quiet nights on the range, and most of all independence. I mean independence from the government, and and even sometimes the boss.
    My ass it is red
    my pockets are green
    f**k so and so
    and his money machine.

  18. “Informed Citizen” has the classic attitude of those who believe themselves educated. Listening to NPR (and especially BEING SEEN listening to NPR) is one of those avenues by which one can feel sophisticated while capitalizing on their dime-a-dozen university diploma. Something like attending a local opera in a tuxedo or being seen with a martini in your hand. Education and programming are not the same thing. Any idiot can drink a martini.

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