lolbama! Part 59

This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Larsinkima:

From Larsinkima:

From Melissa:

From me (Harvey):

From me (Harvey):

From me (Harvey):

Bonus! Irritable Pundit has the ObamaPad 2. (Too big to fit here – just go there & enjoy. Don’t miss the apps.)


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Kris:

[reference link (language warning)]

From Kris:

From Larsinkima:

From Steve:

From Kris:


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

This one has possibilities, too, so feel free to use either or both:

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Tim Pawlenty: Boring Enough to Win?

So Tim Pawlenty has announced his candidacy, and the guy is so boring you can hardly read his name without yawning. But I was thinking: Wouldn’t that be a huge advantage against Obama? Obama was supposed to be this exciting candidate who would change everything, and now people know what a crock that would be. So wouldn’t the perfect antidote to that be some super boring candidate with absolutely no cult of personality? The American people are just going to want someone competent in place of Obama, and we pretty much just assume that boring people are competent. And with a boring person, we’re definitely not going to get all our hopes up just to have them crushed as happened for many people with Obama.

So maybe Pawlenty is a really good idea. I probably should read up on him… but it’s just so hard to care, you know?

Why Don’t We Just Kill All Dictators

So it’s pretty controversial that we’re intervening in Libya. Qdaffy is a crazed dictator killing his own people, but does that mean we should intervene in any country with a dictator?

I say yes.

As the defenders of freedom, I don’t know why we haven’t long ago made it official American policy that if you’re a dictator, we will murder you. I used my iPad to make an illustration of this policy idea.

Hi-tech!

If you govern without the consent of the govern, then America is actively plotting your death. Maybe we won’t kill you today, maybe we won’t kill you tomorrow, but we’ll probably kill you Thursday. In the least, if you’re a dictator, know that in the Pentagon we’re working on plans to make you dead. They can even declassify plans as they don’t use them.

“Here’s our plans to make Kim Jong Il swallow a bomb and explode him from the inside, including a CGI simulation of what we think that would look like. We really think it would discredit his rule if he were exploded. And here is a drawing of him being eaten by a t-rex. Unfortunately, that one never got past the cool drawing stage.”

What would be the objections to this? That big powerful America is picking on smaller countries? You can’t pick on dictators; that’s like saying our police forces are picking on thugs and murderers. Dictators are freebies; we can kill all we want, and it’s morally okay. We’re a big powerful country — way more powerful than the dictators out there — so why shouldn’t we do what’s right and awesome? What’s really wrong is for dictators to be out there murdering and generally pushing people around and for them to have it in their head that no one is plotting to kill them. That’s why America needs to announce loud and clear, “If you’re a dictator, we’re after you. And look at this new sniper bullet we made. It enters your head then explodes. That’s right, our snipers are going to explode your head. So either have fair and free elections, or stay away from windows if you don’t want to explode your head over everything.”

Okay; so I’m a neocon. That’s way better than being someone who doesn’t want dictators’ heads exploded.

Random Thoughts

T-Paw needs to embrace how boring he is. Boring probably has a pretty good chance against Obama.

T-Paw 2012: “Someone this boring has to be competent.”

I, for one, support President Obama and his proposed exchange of blood for oil.

Seems like there should be a left-wing argument for smaller government. Why would you want to give Michele Bachman more power?

Realizing all politicians suck is the first step towards advocating limited government.