If you’re wondering who is defending the weirdos at NPR and the strange idea they need federal funding, it’s Harry Reid! What weird, stupid thing is he saying now:

“The mean-spirited bill, H.R. 1, eliminates National Public Broadcasting. It eliminates the National Endowment of the Humanities, National Endowment of the Arts. These programs create jobs. The National Endowment of the Humanities is the reason we have in northern Nevada every January a cowboy poetry festival. Had that program not been around, the tens of thousands of people who come there every year would not exist.”

So is he saying without federal funds cowboy poetry won’t exist or that cowboy poets will die or that we’ll alter timeline by cutting federal funds and cowboy poets will cease to exist?

And what’s cowboy poetry?

Apparently, when we’re looking at our huge budget deficit, it’s just one of those things we can’t cut. The federal government can’t bear to go on without cowboy poetry. We’ll have to find something less essential than cowboy poetry to cut.

Oh wait, there nothing in the universe less essential than that… except maybe Harry Reid himself.

I have one last idea for spending: Build a giant catapult aimed at the ocean. Then we launch Harry Reid and all the other useless idiots spending out money on the most pointless things imaginable. It will quickly pay for itself.

Before I go on, I was thinking how this site is always just saying negative things about liberals. It’s always, “Look at these bad things liberals did!” but we never set time aside to point out something good they’ve done, like “Look at this nice macaroni painting the liberals did.” We really should look for more opportunities to do that.

Anyway, look at these bad things liberals did. Yeah, NPR’s vice president for fundraising was caught on tape bashing the Tea Party, nodding along to antisemitism, and saying NPR would be better off without federal funding (the worst no-no of all to NPR). Both he and the NPR CEO has now resigned; what fun.

I think we’re all aware that if you want to get the worst examples of bigotry, all you need to do is film a liberal when he thinks he’s only being heard by other liberals. Another group of hateful liberals is hardly remarkable except for the fact we’re forced to pay for them for some reason. And I never got what exactly is so special about NPR that it’s the one speech we’re forced to fund. It’s mainly a bunch of pretentious crap affluent white people listen to to feel smart. And that needs taxpayer funding why?

Actually, if we are going to use tax payer funding for programming and can’t stop for some reason despite the huge need for budget cuts, why don’t we at least use federal funds for some really cool programming you can’t get elsewhere. Here are some ideas:

IDEAS FOR FEDERALLY FUNDED SHOWS

* Golf on the Moon – Pretty self-explanatory: Send golf pros to compete on the moon. Can have spinoffs like Baseball on the Moon, Football on the Moon, and Soccer on the Sun.

* Brewster’s Billions – Game show in which a contestant has to spend a billion dollars without gaining any assets to win. Our Congress does this constantly, but can you?

* Through the Eyes of a Predator – Thanks to Predator drones, we’ll get to see behind the scenes of radical Muslims and get to learn about their problems, hopes, and dreams just before they’re incinerated with a hellfire missile.

* Undercover Obama – Barack Obama will disguise himself and go undercover in different jobs so we can see how completely useless and incompetent he is at other things than the presidency. At the end of the show, he’ll reveal his true identity to the people he worked with and raise their taxes.

* $10,000,000 Daily Giveaway – Film the surprise as each day $10 million is given to a random taxpayer. Seems expensive, but $3.65 billion is almost a rounding error in the budget these days.

And please use federal funds to bring back Firefly. You can take the money from school lunches or something; Michelle Obama says those fatties don’t need it.